# Enterprise's "Chef": Your theories? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809 "2002-10-25T05:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![YPOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e99b99/32.png) [@YPOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YPOD)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/21 "2002-10-26T17:23:43Z")
It’s Martha Stewart - she signed on to avoid that nasty Imclone business. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/22 "2002-10-26T17:30:56Z")
Hmmm…Martha Stewart AND Issac Hayes? I’m trying to think of a song about Martha by the fire…It’s pretty ugly. I won’t go there. ^:)^ ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/23 "2002-10-26T21:03:35Z")
It might even be one of Emeril’s descendants. “BAM! Here’s a nice pan-fried catfish for you…Let’s kick it up a notch with some of my famous sauce in a jar…Happy happy happy!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/24 "2002-10-26T21:26:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Paul in Saudi \* > \*\*It is Guidon, the Whoopie Goldberg character. It will be revealed in the last epidoe and only insiders will get the joke. \*\* A guidon is the small pennant or flag carried at the right end of the front rank of a military formation. _Guinan_ was the character played by Whoopi Goldberg on _TNG_. I hadn’t thought of her being Chef, however…it could work. Of course, I have to agree that Isaac Hayes would be a brilliant choice to play the mysterious Chef. “Hello, Cap’n” “Hey, Chef…” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/25 "2002-10-27T01:17:59Z")
Before every meal, the captain calls a chef out from the podium, either Enterprise Chef Earth, Enterprise Chef Vulcan, or Enterprise Chef Suliban. He has one hour to prepare dishes using the theme ingredient randomly chosen by the resequencer. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/26 "2002-10-27T01:29:42Z")
Podium? Chef is a public speaker? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/27 "2002-10-27T02:12:22Z")
Have we ever seen Dr. Vlox and the chef in the same scene? Could it be? I think I have seen Vlox in the mess though. Actually I think I saw a human male filling plates with food in one episode. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/28 "2002-10-27T02:24:13Z")
How about an actual chef made of Iron, that goes beserk, leveling downtown Tokyo after it programs itself to grow. Chef Jet Jaguar!!! Whoo-hoo!!! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/29 "2002-10-27T18:42:12Z")
They don’t have replicators yet, only a more primitive ancestor called a protein resequencer. Instead of creating something in seconds, it may take HOURS to create a meal, a pair of boots, a gauze bandage, etc. fom leftovers and poop :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/30 "2002-10-27T19:50:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Great Zamboni \* > \*\*Have we ever seen Dr. Vlox and the chef in the same scene? Could it be? > > I think I have seen Vlox in the mess though. Actually I think I saw a human male filling plates with food in one episode. \*\* * * * The server is a guy, yes, and that’s why I think Chef may be a woman. I just have a feeling–no particular rationale. God, I hope Phlox isn’t in the kitchen. He might drop his trimmed toenails into the soup to spice it up. {insert “yecch” smiley here} ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/31 "2002-10-27T20:36:50Z")
Anyone ever seen Neelix and Phlox togehter at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/32 "2002-10-27T20:59:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Anyone ever seen Neelix and Phlox togehter at the same time? \*\* Violation of Geneva conventions right there… (or Khitomer Accords, to up the nerdage!) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/33 "2002-10-27T21:13:06Z")
Only if they have their shoes off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809.md?page=1)