# Entire family forgets birthday **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424 "2007-12-09T22:23:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/1 "2007-12-09T22:23:55Z")
Yep, the title says it all. Fortunately, this drama doesn’t involve me. My SO, his siblings, and his father all forgot his mother’s birthday. I’m still not clear on when the light dawned on someone but apparently things are a bit tense, as they should be. Anyway, leaving aside what he can do (he feels terrible about it but I don’t think there’s much he can do besides apologize profusely, get her a nice gift, and write it down in his 2008 calendar), how would YOU react if your entire family forgot your birthday? I really don’t know how I’d react. Birthdays aren’t a big deal to me, but I still think I would be pretty upset so I’d probably not say anything but just stew over it and if anyone offered a gift, I’d refuse it. That might not be the mature response but I suspect that’s what I’d do. How about you? ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/2 "2007-12-09T22:28:51Z")
Since I have a twin brother, the idea of my entire family forgetting my birthday is kind of spooky… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/3 "2007-12-09T22:31:29Z")
I felt like this a few years ago. When my extended family gets together for Thanksgiving, we used to celebrate my birthday, which is around the same time. I guess that got dropped off the agenda a few years ago, and nobody told me – I was less than happy the first year that took place. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/4 "2007-12-09T22:32:03Z")
\>Since I have a twin brother, the idea of my entire family forgetting my birthday is kind of spooky… My first girlfriend, who was born a couple hours after I was, forgot mine once. Question, though - if the mother remembered her birthday, then the entire family didn’t forget it. If she didn’t remember it, why would things be tense? Some folks aren’t all that worked up over birthdays. I know a fellow who doesn’t know when his birthday is. It’s not even on his birth certificate, only the month. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/5 "2007-12-09T22:36:16Z")
Pretty much happened to us over the summer. I think I posted about it somewhere. We took a trip - during the planning my wife had said she intended the trip to be her b-day present. I had planned on getting her a card and some candy to give her on hthe day, but didn’t get around to it. In the p.m. of the day, when we were discussing what to do for the rest of the day, she kinda just sprung it on us that no one had told her happy b-day or suggested that we do anything recognizing that it was her b-day. Yeah, it really sucked of us to not remember, but at that point, there was nothing we could do to help the situation. Really put a bit of a downer on the end of the vacation _(the whole situation - I’m not blaming her for her reaction - tho I don’t think I would have been as pissed.)_ ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/6 "2007-12-09T23:12:57Z")
I’d be relieved, I’ve been working on getting them to do that since I was 6. I’m a bit odd. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/7 "2007-12-10T00:37:53Z")
Turned 50 this year. My Mother forgot until Little Sister[sup] showed up. I am getting over it. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/8 "2007-12-10T01:06:53Z")
They didn’t forget my birthday, but they observed it very grudgingly. No presents, except one from my niece: a stuffed animal that looked as if it came out of a Big Grab. Dinner at a place I didn’t like. Very icy atmosphere the whole time. Then we went home, and my dad started eating the Whitman’s Sampler I’d given him for Valentine’s Day, and did not offer to share. I was ten. I got mad. I was sent to my room. What can you do? Nothing. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/9 "2007-12-10T03:53:09Z")
Other than my soon to be ex and her 2 daughters, my family has not acknowledged my birthday in years. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/10 "2007-12-10T03:59:30Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] My first girlfriend, who was born a couple hours after I was, forgot mine once. [/QUOTE] Did anyone else find this a little eww before thinking it through? 😛 The only person left in my family who still knows when my birthday is is my mother. My dad lost a lot of important dates when he had his stroke, and my brother just gets reminders from my mom. Everyone else are pretty much relatives on my mom’s side that we see once a year. Things wouldn’t be terribly different if my mom forgot. Nobody in my family really made huge deals about birthdays in the past anyway, so I guess I’m jaded. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/11 "2007-12-10T04:02:33Z")
I couldn’t care less. My family is pretty tight, but we don’t harp on birthdays too much except for Aaron and his cousins. A phone call is good enough, and if it comes a few days late, no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/12 "2007-12-10T04:20:37Z")
Birthdays stopped being important to me when I turned 16 (or thereabouts). To me, it was always just another day to get gifts and a cake with candles, and eventually that just got old. This pretty much holds true for any annual observation or celebration. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/13 "2007-12-10T04:46:20Z")
Of course, all bets are off for kids at least through high school. Our family has always been pretty bad about birthdays. Hell, I feel pretty good when I call either of may parents the right week. My wife forgot my birthday once and that pretty well sucked. For those that do expect nay demand something around their birthday, drop hints and reminders. Don’t expect that because you haven’t heard anything, that this year’s surprise party is really a well kept secret instead of a collective brain fart. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/14 "2007-12-10T04:56:01Z")
My family always makes a big deal about birthdays. It’s an excuse to hand our presents and cake, and we’re all for that. Mrs. RickJay;s family always used to forget her birthday. The first birthday she had when we were dating, my Mom got her a cake with her name on it and everything. She’d never had that before in her entire life. She almost cried. Sure, it’s kind of silly, but the thing about birthdays is it gives you a chance to throw a celebration in special honor of someone you love, and that’s a cool thing as far as I’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/15 "2007-12-10T05:10:30Z")
Once my entire family forgot my birthday, but it turned out OK, because this guy that I was totally crushing on ended up sharing a birthday cake with me while we sat dangerously on top of a glass dining room table. [d&r] I started to say “Matt Dillon”, but [IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088128/) seems to disagree. What do I know? It was before my time. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/16 "2007-12-10T12:09:59Z")
Birthdays aren’t a huge deal in my family, and we tend to acknowledge them somewhereabouts in the week of occurence, so no one calling on the actual day would be a non-issue. That said, I don’t require anything beyond a simple “happy birthday”, so anyone who actually sees me on that day (or, for instance, lives in my house) without mentioning it would probably annoy me. I did flip out on my ex once for forgetting my birthday, but it wasn’t so much that he hadn’t mentioned it, it was more that he hadn’t mentioned it during any of the \*five \* calls he’d already made to me that morning, _at work_, to rant (again, some more) about a petty issue (not involving me) that he’d been driving me batshit insane by obsessively bitching about for the previous two weeks. Then he told me I was selfish for expecting him to remember my birthday in the midst of his “crisis”. I should have left him then, it was typical of his epic self-involvement. I forgot his birthday once, years later, and he bitched about it until the day we broke up. He continues to bitch about it to other people, and especially seems to feel it makes an excellent “it’s been hard for me” first date story. “I should have known it was over when she forgot my birthday. I mean, if you love someone, how could you?” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/17 "2007-12-10T13:12:32Z")
\>Did anyone else find this a little eww before thinking it through? Perhaps not. Where’d it take you, at first? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/18 "2007-12-10T13:20:26Z")
I totally missed my own birthday a few years ago. When you’ve had 62 of them, it’s easy to forget. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/19 "2007-12-10T14:50:49Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] \>Did anyone else find this a little eww before thinking it through? Perhaps not. Where’d it take you, at first? [/QUOTE] Coming shortly after the post about the unliklihood of a twin brother forgetting a birthday, I had the same “Ew” moment too until I read it again more carefully. The only time my enitre family forogt my birthday I was sort of expecting it. I was turning 12 and it was the day after my grandmother’s funeral and everyone was a little preoccupied. We don’t really care much for birthdays anyway. My fiancee and I like to pull out all the stops for each other though. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424/20 "2007-12-10T15:47:17Z")
My mother’s birthday was last Friday (Pearl Harbor Day). She’s 76. Besides presents and cards from the kids, her brother called as 7:00 so he could get his call in before one of his other sisters called. My mother is one of 11 children. Between family, friends children and grandchildren, I bet she had 30-40 calls on her birthday. I can’t imagine anyone in our family forgetting a birthday. It just wouldn’t happen. Even I, who am terrible about dates, get plenty of reminders for upcoming dates from my family. Having your birthday totally forgotten would be like being erased from the family. StG [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/entire-family-forgets-birthday/429424.md?page=2)