# Epic Amazon review **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 22, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935 "2013-12-22T03:36:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/1 "2013-12-22T03:36:23Z")
[Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00032G1S0/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00032G1S0&linkCode=as2&tag=ohmy0c-20) Should be the first review, the Raven parody. I’m…speechless :eek: ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/2 "2013-12-22T04:32:42Z")
The Most Helpful Critical review is good too. There are a bunch of funny reviews for that product. 🙂 This is at least as good as the reviews for the pens made for women. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/3 "2013-12-22T05:46:31Z")
Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/4 "2013-12-22T12:27:34Z")
Hilarious! Did y’all look at the questions and answers, too? 🙂 > [@](#): > > Q: Is there a non-dairy version of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz? > > A: Hi Dog, Good news! There is a non-dairy version - it’s called Benjamin Moore Latex Eggshell White ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/5 "2013-12-22T14:04:31Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > The Most Helpful Critical review is good too. There are a bunch of funny reviews for that product. 🙂 > > This is at least as good as the reviews for the pens made for women. There are also the wolf shirt reviews, and reviews for the book on how to steer large ships. One great thing about the internet is that everyone else’s too-much-time-on-their-hands has become our free amusement. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/6 "2013-12-22T14:15:02Z")
Welcome to the internet. Here’s your cat. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/7 "2013-12-22T15:04:49Z")
I couldn’t find this info on Amazon, but . . . after all this time, shouldn’t this milk be available in paperback? And how about used? I’d be happy with “like new” if it were significantly cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/8 "2013-12-22T15:25:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I couldn’t find this info on Amazon, but . . . after all this time, shouldn’t this milk be available in paperback? And how about used? I’d be happy with “like new” if it were significantly cheaper. I want it to be available for the kindle. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/9 "2013-12-22T15:36:29Z")
There’s crunchy comedic goodness pretty much everywhere on that page. For me, the first two items under ‘Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed’ are ‘uranium ore’ and ‘Fresh Whole Rabbit’. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/10 "2013-12-22T16:22:01Z")
Wow, 1600+ people who have less of a life than I do. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/11 "2013-12-22T16:40:34Z")
$64.93 > **[Amazon.com: Uranium Ore : Industrial & Scientific](https://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM)** > > Radioactive Ore Specimen.The ore sample is Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials (NORM). Uranium Ore samples are useful as check sources for testing Geiger Counters. No analysis is performed on the ore sample. So the source of the ore's... ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/12 "2013-12-22T19:44:23Z")
People who bought **[Canned Unicorn Meat](http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Canned-Unicorn-Meat/dp/B004CRYE2C/ref=pd_sim_indust_4)** also bought **[Look And Feel Canadian Breath Spray](http://www.amazon.com/Look-Feel-Canadian-Breath-Spray/dp/B000NRU8DO/ref=pd_sim_t_4)**. (Just in case that isn’t clear, it is a breath spray that, purportedly, makes you look, and feel, Canadian.) > [@](#): > > By gcnp on August 16, 2013 > I ordered this and used it, now I am too polite to write anything negative. It’s great! If you’eve ever wanted to be Canadian, but it just wasn’t in you, this is the thing you need. Seriously, though, are people actually buying $10 gallons of milk off Amazon? Gag gifts I can understand, but $10 milk by mail isn’t even (as an actual thing you might buy) funny. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/13 "2013-12-22T20:02:15Z")
You must read J.O. Thach’s review of [Kleenex Tissue.](http://www.amazon.com/review/RFWM0CFO0UMWY/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#RFWM0CFO0UMWY) His [other reviews](http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2Q14JXZX4R807/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp?tag=gawkeramzn-20&ascsubtag=%5Breferrer%7Cgawker.com%5Btype%7Clink%5BpostId%7C1487231018%5BauthorId%7C5736122367926778714) are works of art as well. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/14 "2013-12-22T20:16:29Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > $64.93 > > [http://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Inc-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM/ref=pd\_sim\_sbs\_gro\_1](http://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Inc-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM/ref=pd_sim_sbs_gro_1) The Uranium Ore review is possibly the best thing on the Internet: > [@](#): > > I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/15 "2013-12-22T20:22:08Z")
[The diva cup](http://www.amazon.com/review/R39TB4HUVK8Z6/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00FA5J9AC&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc). (may be tmi for sensitive guys.) ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-amazon-review/676935/16 "2013-12-23T02:09:05Z")
Communion wafers, apparently you can’t use them to build your own deity.