# EPIC FAIL: "I convinced her to bed another man, and now I'm insanely jealous." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498 "2011-08-04T19:34:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/1 "2011-08-04T19:34:44Z")
So while reading the latest [Prudence](http://www.slate.com/id/2300725) article, I came across this letter. > [@](#): > > Dear Prudence, > A few months ago, in order to spice up our sex lives, I persuaded my wife of four years to try swinging. I searched online and found an ordinary-looking couple I thought would suit us to begin with. We met, had dinner, went to a hotel, and swapped partners. I am a fit, fairly good-looking, well-endowed man. I was surprised and dismayed when the other man, who is older, somewhat overweight, and balding, undressed. He was way larger than me, and for two hours I had to watch him work my wife into multiple fits, screams, and moans. Since this experience (which we have not repeated), I haven’t been able to look at my wife in the same way. I cannot get that night out of my mind. It’s affecting my work and ability to be happy. Sometimes I feel I could just punch my wife in the face. I want a divorce. The few friends I have confided in about this say that I am being unfair, but I cannot see how I could possibly be content in my marriage ever again. Is there a way I can overcome this? > > —Outgunned Husband Talk about getting exactly what you deserve. Instant fucking karma, and it couldn’t have happen to a more despicable person. I honestly can’t stop laughing about it. Just thought I’d share. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/2 "2011-08-04T19:41:52Z")
I read that. If someone posted it here as an OP, I’d suspect trollery. “I could just punch my wife in the face,” really? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/3 "2011-08-04T20:00:46Z")
I daresay he _should_ get the divorce - clearly, he does not deserve to be married. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/4 "2011-08-04T20:03:23Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Instant fucking karma Can this be purchased at Amazon? I haven’t gotten laid in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/5 "2011-08-04T20:05:26Z")
Fits, screams, and moans? Nothing a decent Taser couldn’t accomplish. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/6 "2011-08-04T20:05:46Z")
This one set off my bullshit detector, but if it’s real, I hope his wife reads it and clips out the column to take to a divorce lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/7 "2011-08-04T20:10:32Z")
> [@Prudie](#): > > Possibly your wife was putting on something of a show just to yank your chain. Perhaps she was doing her best to please and excite her husband, who first persuaded her to do this and then stuck around to watch. What was she supposed to think he wanted to see? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/8 "2011-08-04T20:27:40Z")
So bigger\* is\* better. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/9 "2011-08-04T20:48:41Z")
That letter is fake fake fake. It just _screams_ fake!! Only a man would equate a larger penis with more pleasure like that. Shame on Prudence for not recognizing such an obvious lie. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/10 "2011-08-04T20:58:20Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > That letter is fake fake fake. It just _screams_ fake!! Only a man would equate a larger penis with more pleasure like that. Shame on Prudence for not recognizing such an obvious lie. And huge **plus** a couple hours worth of screwing? A guy who could manage that would probably leave her in pain, not pleasure. There’s such a thing as too much friction. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/11 "2011-08-04T21:05:27Z")
Besides, he’s “well endowed” himself, which means fatboy Don Juan must be hauling around a small submarine. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/12 "2011-08-04T21:18:10Z")
“He begged to wear the horns.” ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/13 "2011-08-04T21:35:29Z")
Sure, it could be fake, but… > [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Only a man would equate a larger penis with more pleasure like that. He is a man, and a meatheaded one at that. He’s assuming–_just as you’d expect_–that the apparent pleasure was because of penis size. _She_ doesn’t say anything to the effect. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Besides, he’s “well endowed” himself, which means fatboy Don Juan must be hauling around a small submarine. I reckon that’s no different than him saying he’s “fit” or “good-looking.” It just means he doesn’t think he’s conspicuously below average. The “way larger” and the “two hours” come across as exactly the kind of exaggerations I’d imagine for a non-introspective guy who finds himself intimidated by the situation he’s gotten himself into. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/14 "2011-08-04T21:35:31Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > That letter is fake fake fake. It just _screams_ fake!! Only a man would equate a larger penis with more pleasure like that. Shame on Prudence for not recognizing such an obvious lie. Well, um, forgive me: but I know plenty of guys who think their 5 incher is nice and big, but the reality is that I _far_ more enjoy my time with the 7 or 8 inchers. Often times, for me at least, larger than average (but not porno freak big) is a way more pleasurable experience than the guy with the short dick. Sorry. > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > And huge **plus** a couple hours worth of screwing? A guy who could manage that would probably leave her in pain, not pleasure. There’s such a thing as too much friction. Again though: if the guy writing the letter has some complex where he thinks his 5 inch dick is enormous (like I said, lots of guys do), the other guy might just be a solid 7 or 8. . . Plus, what’s so hard to believe about someone having sex for 2 hours? I can’t possibly be the only one who has does this (and my vagina is fine, thank you for asking). ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/15 "2011-08-04T21:39:24Z")
The only thing she should have added to her advice was whenever he felt bad about it, he should punch _himself_ in the face. Repeatedly. His own damn fault for taking on something without considering the ramifications. Especially how he would feel being “outmanned” and “outgunned”. But I vote fake. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/16 "2011-08-04T21:43:25Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > That letter is fake fake fake. It just _screams_ fake!! Only a man would equate a larger penis with more pleasure like that. Shame on Prudence for not recognizing such an obvious lie. Well, it may be a true letter in that his wife had a great time with the other man because of the other man’s mad skillz, and the letter-writer is simply mistaken in attributing her enjoyment to the other man’s size. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/17 "2011-08-04T22:29:19Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Well, um, forgive me: but I know plenty of guys who think their 5 incher is nice and big, but the reality is that I _far_ more enjoy my time with the 7 or 8 inchers. Often times, for me at least, larger than average (but not porno freak big) is a way more pleasurable experience than the guy with the short dick. Sorry. QFT. I like big dicks and I cannot lie. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/18 "2011-08-04T22:34:17Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Well, um, forgive me: but I know plenty of guys who think their 5 incher is nice and big, but the reality is that I _far_ more enjoy my time with the 7 or 8 inchers. You should spend more time with amateur astronomers. Two decades ago a 10 incher was average. Now, anything less than about 18 inches doesnt get any respect. Hell, I gotta a 4 incher in the closet and 12 incher sitting in storage. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/19 "2011-08-04T22:39:07Z")
Another vote for fake. I’m surprised he didn’t pull that shit on Dear Abby. That sounds like something she’d fall for hook, line, and sinker. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/20 "2011-08-04T22:45:11Z")
> [@Susie\_Derkins](#): > > QFT. I like big dicks and I cannot lie. I’ve been called a big dick before. I’ll be right over. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498.md?page=2)