# EPIC FAIL: "I convinced her to bed another man, and now I'm insanely jealous." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498 "2011-08-04T19:34:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/61 "2011-08-09T23:42:56Z")
I know very few old-school “swingers” actually, but a fair handful of people involved in the BDSM, queer, and nerd scenes. Varying degrees of nonmonogamy seem pretty run-of-the-mill, and people don’t tend to be too tightlipped if they know you’re cool. The only time my friends would freeze out discussion is if they’re worried the person they’re talking to wants to join in and they don’t want 'em to. So don’t be that guy and you’re gold. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/62 "2011-08-10T01:52:00Z")
> [@Susie\_Derkins](#): > > I like big dicks and I cannot lie. You’ve forever ruined Calvin and Hobbes for me. Thanks a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/63 "2011-08-10T19:50:30Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > My experience is that swingers are very, very, VERY quiet about their activities. It’s sort of the swinger code or something, I don’t know. My very limited experience is that the more the swingers are trying to fit into “normal” society, the more close-lipped they are. If the couple is trying to fit into the straight-laced conservative business world, they aren’t going to be broadcasting this far and wide. Whereas if the couple is in a more artsy, laid-back, liberal work environment, they are going to be less concerned who learns what they do. Think about the situation with Jeri Ryan’s ex husband, Republican Jack Ryan, and how the custody records for their divorce being release negatively affected his political career. Some people’s careers are much more subject to the judgment of others who may be much less open-minded and tolerant. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/64 "2011-08-10T19:59:40Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > My very limited experience is that the more the swingers are trying to fit into “normal” society, the more close-lipped they are. If the couple is trying to fit into the straight-laced conservative business world, they aren’t going to be broadcasting this far and wide. Whereas if the couple is in a more artsy, laid-back, liberal work environment, they are going to be less concerned who learns what they do. Oh, absolutely. And I will totally concede that the circle of folks I know are all teachers, police officers, and other upstanding members of the community. I get their need for discretion 100%. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/65 "2011-08-10T20:11:52Z")
This is exactly the same as a “Dear Penthouse” letter I read in the 70’s only in that one the stud wasn’t fat. This is a cuckold’s fetish dream, it’s also pure bullshit. The thing that makes the BS-o-Meter explode is - 1: No one is giving his wife over over to be serviced by another man if he has even a small jealously issue. The main payoff to swapping beyond getting to have different women is in seeing your wife be aroused by another man, not competing with that man. If you are into swapping his wife’s response should be a huge turn on to him, not a problem. 2: No one on this planet would be yapping about this to his friends. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498/66 "2011-08-11T00:45:44Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > I like big dicks and I cannot lie. > [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > You’ve forever ruined Calvin and Hobbes for me. Thanks a lot. Just think of it as a new rule to Calvinball… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/epic-fail-i-convinced-her-to-bed-another-man-and-now-im-insanely-jealous/591498.md?page=3)