# Equal Opportunity tone lowering. . . or LOTR made me HOT! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174 "2002-08-09T18:00:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/41 "2002-08-11T02:13:53Z")
I have had the hots for Legolas since I read the books and I swear my jar dropped when I saw pictures of Orlando Bloom (who does nothing for me) as Legolas the first time. My god, he is beautiful! I want to do such nasty things to him. Aragorn, OTOH, would just have to spank me for wearing out the elf. I think that’s only fair. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/42 "2002-08-11T02:17:00Z")
Heh. Broke the damn _jar_ when my _jaw_ dropped, it did. See? Just thinking about it has me all flustered. I think I’ll go watch the movie again. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/43 "2002-08-11T03:17:52Z")
Man. Tolkein was much cooler before all those dumb old _girls_ started getting into it. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/44 "2002-08-11T03:41:43Z")
David Wenham is Faramir. Oh my. This is gonna be good. He’s _hot_. Hotter than Sean Bean. Elijah Wood looks like a frog. I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Hugo Weaving did nothing for me as Elrond although he was cool in Priscilla. Where I ask is Guy Pearce? Hmmmm? Legolas is mine though, all mine. I saw it in the theatre and Mr P drove me insane by saying "North Island, South Island’ over and over again. He’s also driving me insane by insisting we wait for the November DVD. I think I’ll go and buy the video now. ---
**Author:** ![Osbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cdc98d/32.png) [@Osbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osbie)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/45 "2002-08-11T04:05:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SolGrundy \* > \*\*Man. Tolkein was much cooler before all those dumb old _girls_ started getting into it. \*\* Girl cooties! Girl cooties! BWHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/46 "2002-08-11T06:12:06Z")
This movies warrants at least one change of panties, possible more. I agree, Orlando Bloom himself is good-looking, in a wholesome, teen-idol sort of way, but as Legolas? Hot damn, that is one sexy elf. His hotness burns with the fire of a million suns. 😃 And Aragorn is nothing to sneeze at himself. The first movie I ever saw Viggo Mortensen in was ‘The Prophecy’, and his evilness somehow only added to his hotness. I go for menacing. I don’t know what it is about me gettin’ all het up fer menfolk with weaponry. I generally abhorr violence, but there’s something primally attractive about well-built males f\ ***ing s** t up. I don’t understand all the fuss over poor sad old Frodo and his unfortunate head-shape, although I will say he has stunningly beautiful eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/47 "2002-08-11T21:55:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Primaflora \* > …He’s also driving me insane by insisting we wait for the November DVD. > > I think I’ll go and buy the video now. \ Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy them both. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. \ Why should WE be the only ones buying multiple copies of the same movie? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/48 "2002-08-11T22:09:30Z")
\*\* side steps pool of drool \*\* I’ll contridute to this growing lake, pass the hankie. I was always the Aragorn woman. He was funny and sexy in the books, and John Hurts’ voice in RB’s production, just turned me on! But Viggo? He plays him as a dour faced _young_ hardass. Sean Bean actually made me like Boramir. But Yaaaaa… Dominiqe Maugham has 'em all beat! gives me a whole new reason to watch those Hetty Wainthrop Investigates reruns on PBS. The character of Legolas was so undeveloped that he just screams for a bit of rounding out so to speak…{parody on} Dateline Middle-earth. This is the Two Towers brodcasting systems 6 o’clock report \*\* ticker tapes \*\* Found today, in the lower vaults of Minas Tirith was an ancient manuscript containg several pornographic drawings of Elvish origin. Historians are now pouring over the document. In question is the mythical histories of the begining of the third age, and the lives of the celebated “Nine Walkers”. Previously believed to have retired in quiet seclusion to learn the art of ship building, it seems the heir of Tharinduil had quite the career as an elvish rouge.\*\* eyebrow raise \*\* Pictures at 11 {parody off} I’m emailing this page to a friend, a fellow Legolas lover. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/49 "2002-08-12T03:41:27Z")
Hm. I fell in love with Aragorn when I first read the book. I fell in love with Legolas when I saw the movie. I cannot, however, marry either of them (as I’ve explained to Geoff) because I can’t imagine them having pillowfights. [Tolkien voice] “And in the halls of Minas Tirith was heard a giggling…”[/Tolkien voice]. No, it doesn’t work. Nevertheless, he still gives me pained looks when I cheer too loudly for Legolas and Co. and says things like, “You don’t hear _me_ carrying on about Galadriel, do you?” ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/50 "2002-08-12T06:50:17Z")
Mmmm all those boys were **hot** in one way or another. Only issue I had was why if the wizard, dwarf, elf and hobbits can all seem to keep up a reasonable standard of hygene the humans couldn’t? Boromir, Aragorn - TAKE A BATH AND WASH YOUR HAIR!!! Please. Currently reading _Pilgrim_ by Sara Douglas and aside from constantly expecting FOTR characters to pop up in it (think I watched the DVD once to often), I find it amusing that her characters occasionally long for a hot bath or a shave. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/51 "2002-08-12T07:15:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > **Boromir, Aragorn - TAKE A BATH AND WASH YOUR HAIR!!! Please** Maybe that’ll be in the director’s cut… The bath scene. They get into the natural hot spring. They soap up. They rinse their hair. They rise out of the hot steamy water… ---
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/52 "2002-08-12T12:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cher3 \* > \*\*I was amused to read somewhere that they thought they needed to expand Arwen’s role to capture the interest of female viewers. > > Um… \*\* Well, they must have been talking about the **gay** female viewers. Chicks with pointy ears … mmmh! Oh yes! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/53 "2002-08-12T13:50:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \*The bath scene. They get into the natural hot spring. They soap up. They rinse their hair. They rise out of the hot steamy water… Well, you know, there actually _is_ a bath scene in Tolkien’s book, with the four hobbits. But this thread has confused me even further about what women want in a man. A long time ago, it was looks. Then it became money. Then humor. Then power. Apparently I got stuck in the “power” mode. So I went out and became the most powerful being in the Second Age. So now what happens? Women switch back to looks. _Scruffy_ looks, apparently. I just can’t win. ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/54 "2002-08-12T14:40:24Z")
OHO! Sexy LOTR! Ahem yes I will second and third any votes for Elijah Wood. It is a little freaky but he is undeniably gorgeous and sexy in a low-key, sex-slave rather than rampant-animal kind of way. What can I say? Is it his delicate pale skin, his tortured fingers, his soulful eyes, his beautiful mouth? Erm, yes that could be it… Oh and I adore Boromir, too. I cheer each time we get the first sight of him riding into Rivendell. (And I’ve watched the DVD… how many times?) But I love ‘em tortured. And his affection for Merry and Pippen is very cute. Final vote goes to Elrond. Although when he speaks he’s as funny as all out. The way he says Mordor as Morrrrrdurrrrrrr is hilarious. But I’d definitely do him. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/55 "2002-08-12T17:02:20Z")
bifar…I’m waiting for the naked Frodo scene in the last part of the movie (Return of the King). ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/56 "2002-08-12T19:00:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*I just can’t win. \*\* One word for ya, Mr. Dark Lord: _ **Visine** _. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/57 "2002-08-12T20:19:46Z")
It’s funny… I remember a thread here a while ago about breasts, and one of the female posters pointed out that all the males in the thread had bad spelling, as though they were distracted. The names, for the record, are Aragorn and Boromir. And there are not just two female characters in the movie. Rosie Cotton is quite cute, as well. Of course, if I tried anything, Sam would kill me… ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/58 "2002-08-13T09:46:57Z")
> [@](#): > > bifar…I’m waiting for the naked Frodo scene in the last part of the movie (Return of the King). Hee hee! Me too, Karl, and that makes me feel like a very, very bad girl. But naked dirty Frodo? Hooboy. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/59 "2002-08-13T16:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*Actual telephone conversation I just had with my husband: > > Him: Go out for dinner and rent a movie tonight? > Me: No, I wanna see LOTR again. I’m in love with Legolas. > Him: Is he not cool? He was hitting people with those arrows-- like bullets, man. They were dead before they even knew what hit them! > Me:No, I want to have his children. > Him: He was great in the books, I don’t know why your so surprised. > Me: So, we’ll watch it again. > Him: Man, that ogre was shocked, he was so dead. > Me: Yes, I see you love him too. > Him: I’ll pick us up some beer. > > I swear, that was the actual conversation. I don’t think my husband was really listening to me because _he_ was so hot for Legolas-- in a totally het kinda brutish way. \*\* from the [Very Secret Diaries](http://home.nyu.edu/~amw243/diaries/gimli.html): "DAY SIXTEEN Legolas told me Aragorn is way into Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Suggested to Legolas that we might want a leader who is less of a lech. Legolas then asked if I wanted to take a bath with him. **Beginning to suspect that all that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men just big cover-up for illicit spanking games.**" ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174/60 "2002-08-13T16:47:00Z")
bolding mine, of course [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/equal-opportunity-tone-lowering-or-lotr-made-me-hot/123174.md?page=4)