# Ere you left the stall... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846 "2003-10-22T04:50:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/1 "2003-10-22T04:50:57Z")
This is directed towards those numerous nasty jerks who evidently can’t be bothered with being sanitary in public; i.e, those who refuse to flush the commode when finished. \*Ere you left the stall a moment past Did you think to flush? In the name of your deity, Did you press that little lever, Just to flush away? Refrain: O how flushing makes us happy! Flusing will change the smell to fresh; So when it stinks thick and funky, Don’t forget to flush.\* Feel free to post your own versions of the subsequent verses. And I won’t mind at all if you improve the verse I just posted. ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/2 "2003-10-22T05:09:02Z")
**Rico** and I enjoyed singing, er, reading your OP. Very creative! ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/3 "2003-10-22T05:15:43Z")
Ahem…er…me me me me… I’m ready now. (To the tune of _Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam_) \*Monty wants me for a flusher, To flush my crap away I will flush so I will please him And not stink up his day. A flusher, a flusher, Monty wants me for a flusher A flusher, a flusher, I’ll flush my doo-doo away.\* (The watching crowd breaks into wild applause) Thank you, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/4 "2003-10-22T05:29:18Z")
\*Whosoever you would deign to gift with the presence—nay— presents of what you carefully extruded from that stinky hole that, I see, still reeks… I am not he. Or she (whichever you chose for your gift). In the future, please remember flush, you, and wipe your ass! The rest of us do not need\* THE STENCH! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/5 "2003-10-22T05:44:25Z")
_Flush all the nasties down The Holy Porcelain Throne, Hark how the rushing water drowns All odours but its own!_ That would be _Crown Him With Many Crowns._ If I wasn’t already going to hell… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/6 "2003-10-22T11:10:10Z")
Apologies to Diana Ross \* Flush it in the morning Then just walk away It won’t stink tomorrow But it stank yesterday Hey! Wasn’t it me who said that Nothing brown’s gonna last forever? And wasn’t it me who said that I can flush with the touch of a feather? It must have been hard to smell me 'Cause I flushed all I had to flush I can understand you’re in a hurry Everbody’s in such a rush. Well, I can say goodbye in the cold morning stench But I can’t watch shit glow in the warmth of the trench If I’ve got to breathe deep Don’t you know I need a nice clean toilet, you creep? Till you go I need to sit here and think about The last time that you’ll flush it in the morning Then just close the stall Leave me as you found me, reading from the wall… \* ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/7 "2003-10-22T14:02:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*_Flush all the nasties down > The Holy Porcelain Throne, > Hark how the rushing water drowns > All odours but its own!_ > > \*\* _Awake, my soul, and sing Of him who flushed for thee; Consideration, that’s the key To workplace harmony._ Oh my goodness, hymn parodies. We could be here all day, couldn’t we? ---
**Author:** ![Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lathe_of_Heaven)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/8 "2003-10-22T19:23:32Z")
(tune: Bringing in the Sheaves) Flush away the crap! Flush away the crap! We will all rejoice if you flush away the crap. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/9 "2003-10-22T21:09:49Z")
(to “American Pie”) Long, long time ago Somebody came in here 'Cause they needed to pinch off a loaf. And after they pulled up their pants They didn’t flush and took a chance That everyone would find out they’re an oaf… I came in here not long after And I can hear his mocking laughter God, the stench is awful It oughta be unlawful I can’t remember if I cried As I gagged and staggered back outside I couldn’t go back if I tried, because… my nose… hairs fried So die! Die, mister no-flushing guy It’s disgusting when you’re thrusting logs out of your brown eye The least that you can do is flush them goodbye 'Cause nobody wants to see your cowpie… No one wants to see your cowpie… (someone else can run with it if they want.) ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/10 "2003-10-22T21:33:29Z")
To the tune of “War!”: Flush! Good God, y’all! Why won’t you do it? Absolutely lazy! Say it again! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/11 "2003-10-22T21:57:31Z")
**matt\_mcl** and **masonite** have me crying with laughter. My sides ache. All the songs have been good so far, but I know and love that hymn tune they have been using, and knowing the music really well makes a parody funnier. I’m going to go away for a while and pull out my hymnal and see what I can come up with. Probably won’t be as good as what I’ve already seen though! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/12 "2003-10-22T22:54:48Z")
[I[Flush the toilet everytime! It don’t even cost a dime! Little ones won’t float on top And all evil smells will stop. Refrain: Yes, flush the toilet! Yes, flush the toilet! Yes, flush the toilet! You’re conscience tells you to. Next to God is cleanliness, Dirty hands can cause distress. 'Ere your bathroom visit ends Soap and water are your friends! Refrain:\* ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/13 "2003-10-22T23:45:57Z")
**Baker** , just for you: \*I sing a song of the folks who flush, quietly and sight unseen, who took the care we all should take to keep the restrooms clean. And one was a doctor, and one was a drone, and one was a secretary on the throne; they were all of them flushers, true to the bone, and I mean to be one too. They loved their restrooms clean and fresh, and cleanliness made them strong; they always flushed for the next guy’s sake the whole of their good lives long. And one was a soldier, and one was a priest, and one was slain by a fierce wild beast; and there’s not any reason, no, not the least, why I shouldn’t be one too. They lived not only in ages past; there are hundreds of thousands still. The world is bright with the ones who flush every toilet that they fill. You can meet them in school, or in lanes or at sea, In church, or in trains or in shops or at tea, for the ones who flush are just folk like me, and I mean to be one too.\* ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/14 "2003-10-22T23:51:36Z")
**masonite** , stop! I’m dying here! Did you _know_ my Sunday School class will be singing that tune(with the original words) on All Saint’s Day, Nov 2? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/15 "2003-10-23T00:05:52Z")
(To the tune of “You’ve Got the Touch”) _You’ve got to flush! You’ve got the po-wer! Yeah! After all is said and done, Don’t just leave, don’t just run. It’s disgusting! You’ve got to poop, I know it’s rough, But when it’s done, you should really flush! It’s the unwritten rule!_ etc. and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/16 "2003-10-23T00:25:44Z")
Kudos to one and all. Rico’s version is extremely funny! One little thing I noticed I left off: I used as my model the hymn, _Ere You Left Your Room This Morning_. My apologies for not mentioning that. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/17 "2003-10-23T00:58:21Z")
\*Flush! For the Wretch, who splatter’s in the Bowl The Turds beneath him from his Labour’d Hole, Drives Out the Air with them from the Loo, and leaves A Sullied Toilet for the next Poor Soul. After the Phantom Shitter his poo applied, Methought a Voice within the Restroom cried, “Why is the Porcelain befouled within, Shall O’er this filthy bog I myself bestride?” And we, that now must tarry in the Room They left, with Unflushed Messes in full bloom Ourselves must on the same Commode still Warm Descend–ourselves to leave a Mess–for whom?\* ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/18 "2003-10-23T00:58:34Z")
Ah, the wonders of the internet. For those who don’t know the tune or original words to Monty’s offering, check this out: [http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/d/i/didyouth.htm](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/d/i/didyouth.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/19 "2003-10-23T01:10:05Z")
sweet smelling white bowl cleanliness is the object push handle gently ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/20 "2003-10-23T01:18:08Z")
And here’s mine: [http://www.geocities.com/capecanaveral/7773/music/grand\_isle.mid](http://www.geocities.com/capecanaveral/7773/music/grand_isle.mid) And here’s Larry’s (that cracked me up): [http://www.geocities.com/capecanaveral/7773/music/sine\_nomine.mid](http://www.geocities.com/capecanaveral/7773/music/sine_nomine.mid) “Flush” as the un-sung downbeat of the tune … I love that. **Baker** , I knew you’d know it! What Pissy-Palian doesn’t? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846.md?page=2)