# Ere you left the stall... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846 "2003-10-22T04:50:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/21 "2003-10-23T01:21:57Z")
Oops, I probably shouldn’t have linked those midi files directly. I’m reporting myself to have them disabled. (_“Reported!”_) Go here instead ( [http://hymnal.cjb.net/](http://hymnal.cjb.net/) ) and search for grand\_isle and sine\_nomine, if anyone wishes. Sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/22 "2003-10-23T01:36:15Z")
**masonite** , I wasn’t reading Larry’s as a hymn. Isn’t it a parody of the Rubiyat? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/23 "2003-10-23T02:18:58Z")
Baker: That’s the very site from which I fetched it! ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/24 "2003-10-23T02:31:34Z")
Well, thank you, **Monty**! My offering was to this tune: [Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam](http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis/kids_sunbeam.html) It’s a standard LDS children’s song. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/25 "2003-10-23T02:45:25Z")
Does anyone remember when Opus, from Bloom County, was engaged to Lola Granola? Her mother asked her pastor to visit, and the reverend took a look at one of the Boinger’s tunes. After reading “Let’s guillotione Grandpa” he called out “Leona! Something to slip into the hymns next Sunday!” He also advised Opus’ “Clearasil Messiah from the Shelf” doesn’t rhyme with “Zapping Zits from here to hell” '. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/26 "2003-10-23T02:45:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\ ***masonite** , I wasn’t reading Larry’s as a hymn. Isn’t it a parody of the Rubiyat? \*\* Well damn, my batting average isn’t great tonight. I really thought it was “For All The Saints” – you having just mentioned All Saints’, the Flush downbeat at the beginning, the perfect scansion of most of the lines (compared with F.A.T.S.), the first line of the last stanza which reminded me of us mortals tarrying behind while the Saints are in eternity already – I got carried away and jumped to conclusions, revealing my ignorance of the Rubiyat in the process. It’s been one of those days. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/27 "2003-10-23T03:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > I wasn’t reading Larry’s as a hymn. What, don’t hymns to wine count for anything, these days? 😉 (Great thread, **Monty**!) ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/28 "2003-10-23T03:37:46Z")
To the tune of [Come, Come Ye Saints](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/o/comecome.htm). \*Come flush the head, your crap must go away, We’ll know joy, when it’s done. So do the deed, then push the lever down, Water flows, then it’s gone. 'Tis better far to be annoyed A pitting from **Monty** you might avoid Do this, and joy, your craps won’t smell, All is swell, all is swell!\* I think someone else’s sig line is very appropriate here: “Where are we going? And what’s with this handbasket?” ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/29 "2003-10-23T03:47:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Well, thank you, **Monty**! > > My offering was to this tune: > > [Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam](http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis/kids_sunbeam.html) > > It’s a standard LDS children’s song. \*\* Baptist, too. The grandkids sang it for Big Daddy in _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/30 "2003-10-23T04:56:16Z")
Flush - Down - the Crap, Your toilet task fulfill, And make sure that you won’t Be someone I kill. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/31 "2003-10-23T06:27:09Z")
Row, Row, Row Your Boat Flush, flush, down the hole get that shit away! Browniness, paper and piss in the bowl all are gone today! I Want it That Way (and if I do this just right, **fizzy** won’t let me have it That Way for about a week) You are … my shit hole. The one … whence brown roll of filth will come from that shit’s leaving my bum. Tell me why that shit I’m seeing ain’t chartreuse. Tell me why I’m pissing so much (I drank no booze). Tell me why I gotta flush away that scum when that shit’s left my bum. You’re so … not flushing my gifts … I’m dumping them here … for you to smell. That stench ring a bell? Is it bread? Nah, that shit is far too big for that. Is it lead? Nah, that shit didn’t make a big-enough splat. Tell me what, then, makes my shit look like that. I ATE A SMURF? How 'bout that? Now I can see that my shit doth offend the man occupying that stall there. No matter the distance I want you to know that deep down in side of me… You are … my shit friend. And once … I did rend you from … my colon. Some day we’ll be one. Star Spangled Banner O, say, can you smell— 'cuz I sure as hell do— that guy just laid fresh hell I have never smelled worse poo. What do you think he ate to produce such a log of unmatchéd stench? Fate would have suffer, that dog. And I do declare now that he ought to come back to flush down what he wrought …for the smell he’ll catch flack. Oh, say does that man know he did not fucking fluuuuuuuush I say in return for that, we give him a bum rush. Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring (as long as we’re going with a religious theme) I do declare that the man next to me has now just left, took a shit and did pee. I did not hear the commode by my right dispersing waste down the pipe … oh, the blight! Fetch him at once, make him smell what he left… surely of all manner this dolt’s bereft. I leave you all now, who wallow in this horrible stench rife with shit and green piss! ---
**Author:** ![teleute12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@teleute12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teleute12)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/32 "2003-10-23T06:46:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Well, thank you, **Monty**! > > My offering was to this tune: > > [Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam](http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis/kids_sunbeam.html) > > It’s a standard LDS children’s song. \*\* Methodist, too - I sang that one in Sunday School. This one, too: This little shit of mine, I won’t let it smell This little shit of mine, I won’t let it smell This little shit of mine, I won’t let it smell Flush it down, flush it down, flush it down. My poor mother. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/33 "2003-10-23T06:57:29Z")
Your mother is shit? ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/34 "2003-10-23T12:48:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Flush - Down - the Crap, > Your toilet task fulfill, > And make sure that you won’t > Be someone I kill. \*\* Dunno if you meant it to go to this, \*\* matt\*\*, but to continue: All of you shitters flush it down the drain, Please, don’t make all our songs here be in vain! Flush - Down - the Crap… (tune: Crucifer, used as the melody for “Lift High the Cross”, can be found at [http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/lifthigh.htm](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/lifthigh.htm). WARNING: the midi file plays automatically on the linked page.) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/35 "2003-10-23T13:45:33Z")
I think I may assemble these offerings into a couple of song books, one for the religious, and one for the secular songs! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/36 "2003-10-23T13:58:03Z")
I don’t care if your colon rushes Long as you are the one who flushes All of your shit right down the toilet pipe. I can’t stand the smell of poo-poo, Shit or crap or other doo-doo Making the air smell extremely over ripe. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/37 "2003-10-23T15:00:24Z")
{Tune: A Mighty Fortress} A mighty dumping took place here, and it was not flushed from this sphere. It lies there stinking up the place, It burns the hair right off my face. Ask ye, who did this, for a Right jerk he is! a clueless stupid guy, who left feces behind. the stink it e’er remaineth. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/38 "2003-10-23T15:14:23Z")
Amazing Flush! How sweet the sound after you take a shit! It once was gross but went away. we won’t take you to the pit. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/39 "2003-10-23T19:24:41Z")
Flush for your neighbor’s sake. Flush and give us a break. Flush and be nice. Flush, let the water flow Down to the sewer below So it won’t overflow Into the hall. Hymn: “Come Thou Almighty King” [http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/t/ctak.htm](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/t/ctak.htm) This is fun. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846/40 "2003-10-23T20:43:10Z")
My apologies to Deep Purple for ruining, Hush. Found a little turd floatin in the bowl No doubt about it, ain’t too old It’s not the biggest I’ve ever seen But, whoever left it sure is mean Flush, flush Whish that turd could tell me your name now Flush, flush Left it there and it’s starting to stink now Flush, flush Wish it could tell me your name now Flush, flush I need to have someone to blame now Crap, Crap Gotta do it early in the morning Crap, crap Gotta do it late in the evening Flush, flush Well, I want to find you Flush, flush Oh, I gotta, gotta find you [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ere-you-left-the-stall/208846.md?page=3)