# Erection During Medical Exam **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761 "2004-08-20T18:52:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/41 "2004-08-24T19:32:03Z")
Hey Doc, does this fruit look ripe to you? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/42 "2004-08-24T21:10:56Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Oh yeah? well, mine normally appears to say ‘HANDY’, but occasionally reads "HAVE YOU EVER VISITED LLANFAIRPWYLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWILLANTSYILIOGOGOGOCH IN THE SPRINGTIME? OH YOU MUST! - I WENT THERE ONCE WHEN ON A WELSH HOLIDAY FOR A LONG WEEKEND IN APRIL, WHICH WAS VERY PLEASANT; WE ALSO VISITED THE CHARMING LITTLE RAILWAY STATION AT GORSAFAWDACHAIDRAIGODANHEDDOGLEDDOLLONPENRHYNAREURDRAETHCEREDIGION, WHERE WE STOPPED FOR A WONDERFUL PICNIC - ALL IN ALL, A MOST ENJOYABLE DAY What did **handy** say about this? 😉 I got nuthin’, I’ve never had a female doctor. Except for that one time in the hospital, but she was a resident and was just following up because I went through her ER. No groin examinations. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/43 "2004-08-25T01:35:05Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > Coolest. Dentist. EVAR. Hey, what’d you think that large round attachment for the mouth vacuum was for? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/44 "2004-08-25T10:52:04Z")
> [@Steelerphan](#): > > What did **handy** say about this? He just shouted something irrelevant or tangential as he drove by. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/45 "2004-08-25T12:46:12Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Hampton? Is this rhyming slang or something? Is this the one that has something to do with Peter Frampton? Hampton Wick ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/46 "2004-08-25T14:54:23Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Oh yeah? well, mine normally appears to say ‘HANDY’, but occasionally reads "HAVE YOU EVER VISITED LLANFAIRPWYLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWILLANTSYILIOGOGOGOCH IN THE SPRINGTIME? OH YOU MUST! - I WENT THERE ONCE WHEN ON A WELSH HOLIDAY FOR A LONG WEEKEND IN APRIL, WHICH WAS VERY PLEASANT; WE ALSO VISITED THE CHARMING LITTLE RAILWAY STATION AT GORSAFAWDACHAIDRAIGODANHEDDOGLEDDOLLONPENRHYNAREURDRAETHCEREDIGION, WHERE WE STOPPED FOR A WONDERFUL PICNIC - ALL IN ALL, A MOST ENJOYABLE DAY In horizontal micro-print, no doubt. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/47 "2004-08-25T17:45:50Z")
My family doc’s a woman, and we were talking about this one day. She occasionally has to give physicals to teenage boys, and they usually get hard-ons. (Teenage boys get hard-ons for far less reason than being examined by a female doc. Hell, teenage boys get hard-ons for no reason whatsoever, as I recall.) She does her best to pretend not to notice, and move as quickly as possible through the personal part of the exam. She feels really badly for them, because she knows they’re feeling quite embarrassed, and there’s not a damned thing to do about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/48 "2004-08-25T19:59:11Z")
Since we seem to be telling erection related jokes… A really drunk guy gets a raging hardon, and decides to visit a brothel to get it taken care of. He hails a cab, but since he’s drunk he gives the cabbie the wrong address and ends up at a podiatrist’s office. He walks in and the receptionist sends him into a room and says, “Just go in and stick in in the hole in the wall.” When he does, he hears a scream from the other side saying, “Hey! That’s not a foot!” The drunk guy says, “I didn’t know there was a minimum.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/49 "2004-08-25T23:18:50Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > "HAVE YOU EVER VISITED LLANFAIRPWYLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWILLANTSYILIOGOGOGOCH IN THE SPRINGTIME? OH YOU MUST! - I WENT THERE ONCE WHEN ON A WELSH HOLIDAY FOR A LONG WEEKEND IN APRIL, WHICH WAS VERY PLEASANT; WE ALSO VISITED THE CHARMING LITTLE RAILWAY STATION AT GORSAFAWDACHAIDRAIGODANHEDDOGLEDDOLLONPENRHYNAREURDRAETHCEREDIGION, WHERE WE STOPPED FOR A WONDERFUL PICNIC - ALL IN ALL, A MOST ENJOYABLE DAY Stupid American Question: I get the joke _at hand_, but are the “Welsh” palce names part of the joke? Sorta like German DOES WITH nouns like “HELICOPTERWINDSHIELDWIPERMOTOR?” It’s a serious question (for once)… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/50 "2004-08-25T23:40:30Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Stupid American Question: I get the joke _at hand_, but are the “Welsh” palce names part of the joke? They are real Welsh place names and they are _long_… ummm… that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/51 "2004-08-26T05:00:35Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Stupid American Question: I get the joke _at hand_, but are the “Welsh” palce names part of the joke? They are real Welsh place names and they are _long_… ummm… that’s about it. As far as I know, the names of Welsh towns aren’t strung together like German words, but they _can_get pretty long. Check out this [list](http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/List%20of%20towns%20in%20Wales)… my favorites are the **L** ’s and **P** ’s. Then again, I’m not Welsh. Someone may be along later to tell me how wrong I am. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/52 "2004-08-26T05:23:31Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > (Teenage boys get hard-ons for far less reason than being examined by a female doc. Hell, teenage boys get hard-ons for no reason whatsoever, as I recall.) My husband once told me that all it takes is a stiff breeze…😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/53 "2004-08-26T07:26:29Z")
[Xander Harris] I’m seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex. [/Xander Harris] ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/54 "2004-08-26T10:11:18Z")
> [@Mr Pud](#): > > As far as I know, the names of Welsh towns aren’t strung together like German words, but they _can_get pretty long. Check out this [list](http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/List%20of%20towns%20in%20Wales)… my favorites are the **L** ’s and **P** ’s. > > Then again, I’m not Welsh. Someone may be along later to tell me how wrong I am. 😃 How wrong you are! Well, sort of… OK, not really. However, a lot of Welsh place names are made up of concatenations of literal terms, describing the place; Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch reportedly (I don’t speak Welsh, so I can’t verify it) means something like _The Church of St Mary in the White Hazel hollow, near to a rapid whirlpool and the Church of Saint Tysilio of the red cave_. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/55 "2004-08-26T12:10:56Z")
> [@Mr Pud](#): > > As far as I know, the names of Welsh towns aren’t strung together like German words, but they _can_get pretty long. Check out this [list](http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/List%20of%20towns%20in%20Wales)… my favorites are the **L** ’s and **P** ’s. > > Then again, I’m not Welsh. Someone may be along later to tell me how wrong I am. 😃 Jeez. What about **Ebbw Vale**? What kind of friggin word is EBBW? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/56 "2004-08-26T17:13:04Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Jeez. What about **Ebbw Vale**? > > What kind of friggin word is EBBW? I’m guessing it’s a Welsh word. But that’s just from the context of this thread. I’m not Welsh, either. But it’s my understanding that in Welsh, “W” is just a double-“U”, and as such, is pretty much used as a vowel. [Cecil covers the issue some here.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_246.html) He doesn’t appear to have a great deal of affection for it. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/57 "2004-08-26T20:44:00Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > [Xander Harris] I’m seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex. [/Xander Harris] Teenage boys get erections at the crack of dawn. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/58 "2004-08-26T20:53:35Z")
> [@Pyrrhonist](#): > > Maybe with Blue Cross Blue Shield. > > Hell no with a HMO. The doc told Clem that he needed a sperm sample for a diagnosis, so, he sent Clem to a fertility clinic to get it done. Clem was handed a porno tape and a tube of lubricant, and sent down the hall to a private room. On his way to the room, he passed another room with its door slightly ajar. Glancing in, he saw a nurse, on her knees, giving head to another patient. When Clem was finished with his business, he proceeded to the front desk, sample in a small plastic jar. Say, says Clem to the nurse at the desk…how come I had to do myself, yet I saw another patient getting serviced by a nurse? Well, said she…you, sir, are a member of an HMO. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Fat\_Harry\_Deal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f475e1/32.png) [@Big\_Fat\_Harry\_Deal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Fat_Harry_Deal)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761/59 "2004-08-27T05:29:29Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Oh yeah? well, mine normally appears to say ‘HANDY’, but occasionally reads "HAVE YOU EVER VISITED LLANFAIRPWYLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWILLANTSYILIOGOGOGOCH IN THE SPRINGTIME? OH YOU MUST! - I WENT THERE ONCE WHEN ON A WELSH HOLIDAY FOR A LONG WEEKEND IN APRIL, WHICH WAS VERY PLEASANT; WE ALSO VISITED THE CHARMING LITTLE RAILWAY STATION AT GORSAFAWDACHAIDRAIGODANHEDDOGLEDDOLLONPENRHYNAREURDRAETHCEREDIGION, WHERE WE STOPPED FOR A WONDERFUL PICNIC - ALL IN ALL, A MOST ENJOYABLE DAY Egad! Well, that saves me the trouble of trying to go one better with the (very) old punch line about Shorty’s Bar and Grill (street address optional), San Francisco, California! :wally [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-during-medical-exam/260761.md?page=2)