# erection--going, going, gone..... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 31, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150 "2001-08-31T17:28:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/1 "2001-08-31T17:28:26Z")
So what do you guys think–is a case of the wilting willie more embarrassing for the guy who is ‘affected’, or the girl who has to pretend that it’s OK? (I am asking for purely scientific reasons only, of course) Girls,what is the best way to react, do you think? Reassurance? Humor? Tears of frustration? etc. Guys, what’s the deal? How common is this and what usually causes it? Anxiety? Indifference? Paralyzing Disgust with your Partner? Any ideas out there? ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/2 "2001-08-31T17:30:21Z")
Hmmmm… sounds like someone is having some “problems” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/3 "2001-08-31T17:32:02Z")
Wouldn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/4 "2001-08-31T17:43:13Z")
thinksnow—glad it’s not just me 🙂 pezpunk—come on now, I clearly stated that this was for purely scientific reasons. That’s my story and I am sticking to it… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/5 "2001-08-31T17:44:39Z")
If I guy ever dared to go limp on me I’d punch him in the face and call him a mamma’s boy. but that may be over the top. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/6 "2001-08-31T17:46:48Z")
I can’t remember who said it, but I read somewhere that given the incredible number of astoundingly subtle physiological and psychological things that must fall into place just right, it’s much more amazing that an erection and ensuing ejaculation actually _do_ occur than it is that sometimes they don’t. (Obligatory manhood-defending boilerplate follows)From what I’ve read(end boilerplate), any number of things can affect the “all-systems go” mechanism. Tiredness, alcohol, a full bladder, momentary distractions … the list goes on and on. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/7 "2001-08-31T17:47:12Z")
Maybe this will affect me when I’m 90 but all I know now is that I wake up every day with morning wood, have to do the flying superman agaist the wall when I pee, and don’t seem to have a problem with rolling over in my sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/8 "2001-08-31T17:50:19Z")
If the guy is losing it, and doesn’t have a medical reason, then baby, you’re doing something wrong. Either that, or he’s a fag in denial… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/9 "2001-08-31T17:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > If the guy is losing it, and doesn’t have a medical reason, then baby, you’re doing something wrong. Either that, or he’s a fag in denial… Fascinating, doctor. Tell us more about your theories :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/10 "2001-08-31T17:57:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bandanaman \* > \*\*Either that, or he’s a fag in denial… \*\* And so it starts… [introduction] Bandanaman meet offended dopers. Offended dopers, Bandanaman [/introduction] ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/11 "2001-08-31T18:07:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*If I guy ever dared to go limp on me I’d punch him in the face and call him a mamma’s boy. > > but that may be over the top. \*\* I’m sure the threat of physical violence will help the guy overcome his performance anxiety: “Dammit, Mr. Happy, if you don’t get hard she’s gonna kill me!! Think dirty thoughts, think dirty thoughts. God no, put down that baseball bat! ARGGGHHHH!!” Sua 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stella\_Fantasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Stella\_Fantasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stella_Fantasia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/12 "2001-08-31T18:18:58Z")
This has happened a couple of times when I have jumped the Beast less than 20 minutes since the last time we did the deed. _shrugs_ It’s just something that happens. I put my clothes back on & try again in an hour. ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/13 "2001-08-31T18:22:44Z")
Fascinating, doctor. Tell us more about your theories :rolleyes: \*\* [/QUOTE] Lessee, the head bone’s connected to the…damn…how’s that go again? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/14 "2001-08-31T18:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bandanaman \* > Lessee, the head bone’s connected to the…damn…how’s that go again? in your case, I’m afraid it may be your ‘ass bone’ ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/15 "2001-08-31T18:40:27Z")
😃 You can call me a mama’s boy any day, **jarbaby**. In German, too. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/16 "2001-08-31T18:50:24Z")
Fear: the first time you can’t get it up a second time. Panic: the second time you can’t get it up the first time. Instead of “head bone”, try “bone head”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/17 "2001-08-31T18:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bandanaman \* > \*\*If the guy is losing it, and doesn’t have a medical reason, then baby, you’re doing something wrong. Either that, or he’s a fag in denial… \*\* INCORRECT, GOOD SIR. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/18 "2001-08-31T19:14:50Z")
As a woman, if it happened with me, I’d say, “You know what? Happens to the best of 'em sometimes. No worries. Let’s snuggle.” Tiredness, stress, performance anxiety, alcohol. All can kill the moment even though the mind is ready and rarin’ to go. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/19 "2001-08-31T20:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuaSponte \* > > I’m sure the threat of physical violence will help the guy overcome his performance anxiety: > “Dammit, Mr. Happy, if you don’t get hard she’s gonna kill me!! Think dirty thoughts, think dirty thoughts. God no, put down that baseball bat! ARGGGHHHH!!” > > Sua 😃 \*\* Gosh, it must be especially tough when she expects you to be rock hard. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150/20 "2001-08-31T21:32:28Z")
Probably worse for us males – it’s perceived as our failure, generally. We couldn’t get it up, or keep it up. We’re so busy feeling bad about it and worrying about our shriveled manhood, that few women could believe it was their own doing after witnessing the event. It’s happened to me 3 times. Well, twice it collapsed, and once it never rose to the occasion. I’d discuss the circumstances, but it might reduce the already-miniscule amount of respect I get around here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erection-going-going-gone/79150.md?page=2)