# Erections while cuddling/spooning **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2009, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850 "2009-07-31T06:16:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/21 "2009-07-31T17:35:12Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Yeah, unless it’s wildly inappropriate (old man at the library, your cousin/brother/uncle/dad, your boss, etc) I don’t usually get offended by an erection. You regularly give these guys protracted full-body-contact hugs? 😕 In any event, why would the simple fact that some guy is experiencing an erection be cause for offense? _Behaviors_ are just cause for offense; physiology is not. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/22 "2009-07-31T18:06:58Z")
Lying down comfortably and holding byour entire body against the entire body of someone you (presumably) find attractive? There are people who _don’t_ get erections in such a situation? ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/23 "2009-07-31T18:13:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > There is something tremendously silly about erections when you’re not in the mood (and sometimes when you are). As long as you both agree on what or what not to do with it, can’t see it being a problem. > [@Lemur866](#): > > Silly? Spoken like someone who’s never had one. Erections are incredibly silly (I’m male). As is sex. Thankfully when i’m having sex i’m so busy having sex that I don’t notice the silly. This is why i find porn videos more amusing than arousing. 😛 > [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](#): > > Lying down comfortably and holding byour entire body against the entire body of someone you (presumably) find attractive? There are people who _don’t_ get erections in such a situation? As for me, it depends. Whether i get an erection is much more a function of what’s going on inside my head than outside my body. just holding the person in a spoon position? In the right frame of mind i certainly wouldn’t get one. the other frame of mind tends to be more fun though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/24 "2009-07-31T18:42:21Z")
If I’m spooning before sex, yes, it’s erection city. After sex I might last 30 or 40 minutes without one, depending on the conversation and my level of energy and arousal. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/25 "2009-07-31T20:17:24Z")
Wait, what? Did I phrase my post wrong? I’m saying that I don’t usually get offended by erections - unless it’s wildly inappropriate. As in, if a random old man comes up to me in a library and is sporting a boner, or a male family member has one because of me. Not that any of this has ever happened to me. But I assume that if it did I’d be appalled. If I’m dancing with a male friend at a wedding and he gets one, no prob. If I notice a date gets one and we’re not even touching, no prob. If I’m snuggling in bed with a SO I’d be kind of shocked if it DIDN’T happen. Not sure if I just didn’t make that clear or if I am just being wooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/26 "2009-07-31T20:34:32Z")
For some reason the OP reminded me of an experience I had as a kid. I was spending the night at a friend’s house. During the night I had come down with a bad cough. It was bad enough that I woke up my friend’s mother. She comes into the living room where we were sleeping. She sits me up on the couch and spoon feeds me some medicine. She then proceeds to lay down with me on the couch and cuddle me. (She’s not a creep just a motherly type person) Well, the way she positioned herself; her (big) tits were right there in my face. I got wood! And the whole time I’m laying there I was torn. Part of me was thinking: “Wow! how freaking awesome is this?!” while the other part of me was thinking “Shit! I hope she doesn’t feel my chubby I got going on down there.” But yeah, back in my 20’s I could get a chubby from a strong breeze. It didn’t take much. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/27 "2009-07-31T20:42:49Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Really? Just about everything related to sex that I can think of really is pretty absurd when viewed from without. \*“The pleasure is fleeting, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.” - ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/28 "2009-07-31T20:57:09Z")
> [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](#): > > My husband asked me recently if it bothers me when that happens. “Of course not!” says I, “It makes me feel great, cuz if I were a table or a kitten or something that wouldn’t happen. It makes me feel like a (hot) woman.” He probably was smart enough not to mention that it works with tables and kittens too. ---
**Author:** ![StaudtCJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@StaudtCJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StaudtCJ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/29 "2009-07-31T21:00:52Z")
I thought that an erection was a normal thing if something was rubbing or brushing against that area, as often happens with cuddling or spooning? I mean, if her rear end is up against his groin, it’s not exactly like both of them are still as statues, is it? Perhaps I’m mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/30 "2009-07-31T21:34:03Z")
Female, 31. I know the reaction is mostly beyond a guy’s control, but it says such positive things about you and his feelings for you that I couldn’t imagine not being pleased to see/feel it. I’ve just started seeing someone. Before he started coming over to my place, we’d find a quiet corner and stand together for as long as an hour, holding each other, talking, tickling each other, whatever. The first few times, I wondered why he stood so awkwardly, like his feet were glued three feet away and he had to lean forward to cuddle. Then I realized it was because he was trying to not stab my hip with his boner. No wonder he always left complaining about his aching back. Once we both acknowledged it and laughed about it, I began to shamelessly brush up against him at the slightest excuse: “Oh my god, a bug!” _hug_ “Stop tickling me!” _grinds hips_ “Look, a plastic bag!” _rub_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/31 "2009-07-31T22:23:17Z")
> [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](#): > > Lying down comfortably and holding byour entire body against the entire body of someone you (presumably) find attractive? There are people who _don’t_ get erections in such a situation? Lots of people don’t. Due to not having penises and all:D Maybe it’s due to my reserved northeastern upbringing, but I can’t imagine cuddling with someone whose erection would strike me as inappropriate while cuddling. That’s way too much physical contact for someone I _wouldn’t_ want to turn on, you know? ---
**Author:** ![dgrdfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@dgrdfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dgrdfd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/32 "2009-08-01T01:21:38Z")
Wow, color me surprised. I started to post this topic the other day, but then thought I would be ridiculed with “yeah, when I was 13” types of posts. I had no idea it was so common and even desirable and flattering. Yeah, me! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/33 "2009-08-01T01:56:29Z")
Well, then I have a question for you–why did you think having an erection in that situation might be seen as unseemly? ---
**Author:** ![dgrdfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@dgrdfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dgrdfd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/34 "2009-08-01T02:29:34Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Well, then I have a question for you–why did you think having an erection in that situation might be seen as unseemly? Because it seemed sort of presumptuous on my part that it was in some way needed. (not that I really have any control over it anyway, but I didn’t know if all women knew that) Just because someone is cuddling with you doesn’t necessarily mean they want to have sex with you. IDK, I’m sort of a prude I guess and always afraid of offending someone. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/35 "2009-08-01T02:45:08Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Well, then I have a question for you–why did you think having an erection in that situation might be seen as unseemly? Because if we have an erection, it must mean we are thinking about sex. And if you can feel the erection, it must mean that we are trying to rub it against you. Or so I thought, that is what women think. Thank Og, for the SDMB, I have learned that it is ok to sneak a peek at a woman’s breasts, that women are flattered to find that guys think of them when they masturbate, and that it is ok to have an erection when you are spooning with a woman. I love the ignorance that is being fought here. 🆒 SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/36 "2009-08-01T02:46:44Z")
Okay, that was funny the way you said that. I just imagined your penis saying “Hi, I’m right here in case you need me!” and you saying “Shush! Stop being presumptuous!” Thanks for explaining. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/37 "2009-08-01T04:26:31Z")
Yes, we both do. Male, 63. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/38 "2009-08-01T04:31:35Z")
I’m not a penis owner/operator, but I suspect erections can and do happen at anytime. It isn’t all that unusual for one to pop up (bad pun!) when people are patients in the emergency department. The guys often seem embarrassed but we honestly tell them “It happens all the time” ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/39 "2009-08-01T06:50:30Z")
Happens frequently with me, but sometimes I don’t want my wife to feel under any obligation to have sex or to even think that I might want to have sex, in that case a roll onto my tummy slightly so that I’m not pressed right into her. P.S. the dog doesn’t seem overly bothered by it. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo\_Pin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mojo\_Pin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo_Pin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/40 "2009-08-01T14:57:07Z")
Yep they happen anywhere and everywhere. All it needs is some kind of pressure to the groinal region, and sometimes not even that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850.md?page=3)