# Erections while cuddling/spooning **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2009, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850 "2009-07-31T06:16:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/61 "2011-04-11T20:43:18Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > It happens to him all the time, and when it does, we most often take care of it unless we’re both super tired. Once in a while I’ll get a flash of irritation because I feel like we have sex all the time, but it doesn’t bug me for more then a millisecond. I call sneak bragging. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/62 "2011-04-11T22:50:47Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > For some reason the OP reminded me of an experience I had as a kid. > > I was spending the night at a friend’s house. During the night I had come down with a bad cough. It was bad enough that I woke up my friend’s mother. > > She comes into the living room where we were sleeping. She sits me up on the couch and spoon feeds me some medicine. She then proceeds to lay down with me on the couch and cuddle me. (She’s not a creep just a motherly type person) > > Well, the way she positioned herself; her (big) tits were right there in my face. > > I got wood! And the whole time I’m laying there I was torn. Part of me was thinking: “Wow! how freaking awesome is this?!” while the other part of me was thinking “Shit! I hope she doesn’t feel my chubby I got going on down there.” > > But yeah, back in my 20’s I could get a chubby from a strong breeze. It didn’t take much. She felt it. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/63 "2011-04-11T23:09:46Z")
As above, in general. Flattering, definitely, even if it’s just cuddling with a male friend. HOWEVER - and this really shouldn’t need to be said - once the erection is there, it is really, REALLY rude to poke at her with it, regardless of your level of intimacy. It comes across as demanding, “Hey! Look what you did! This is your fault, now do something about it!” Trust me, she knows about the boner - if she’s in the mood to do something about it, she will. If she isn’t, the polite thing to do is to ignore it until it goes away, or step away to take care of it on your own. I wouldn’t be surprised if the wife up above who gets pissed off about them has a bad experience with someone who habitually made her feel as though HIS erection was HER problem. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/64 "2011-04-11T23:27:35Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > HOWEVER - and this really shouldn’t need to be said - once the erection is there, it is really, REALLY rude to poke at her with it, regardless of your level of intimacy. It comes across as demanding, “Hey! Look what you did! This is your fault, now do something about it!” I dunno. I think sometimes the nudging in the erection is an end in itself, so to speak: I’m pretty sure that my husband finds it a sort of low-key pleasure all in itself, and I certainly don’t take it as nagging me to have sex. But then again, the overall sexual dynamic in our relationship isn’t one where he does a lot of nagging, so context matters here. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/65 "2011-04-12T03:38:41Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > My girlfriend and I refer to this as giving her a cockshaped bruise. I thought it was called sporking? ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/66 "2011-04-12T10:14:01Z")
I may just have one now. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/67 "2011-04-12T11:25:47Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > I may just have one now. Well we don’t know without observing you. But, the act of observing will inevitably change the result. Hmmm, quite the pickle we’re in. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/68 "2011-04-12T15:57:08Z")
> [@Flipshod](#): > > It sounds to me like some of you who are taking it at as a compliment, may be reading too much into it. It may or may not be a compliment, and it may or may not mean he wants to have sex. I could be with a woman I found unattractive and secretly hated and didn’t want to have sex with, but if we’re in bed spooning in our undies I’m liable to get an erection. YMMV:) Ssshhh. Some of us would like to just assume it’s a compliment, okay? What’s really funny is that guys think we always notice erections. I totally don’t, unless it’s, you know, really obvious. If a guy was fully dressed and snuggled up against me I might completely miss it if his clothes weren’t pretty loose. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/69 "2011-04-12T16:45:21Z")
Yeah same here. Unless he’s pressed against me or wearing really loose clothes (or naked or just in underwear) I won’t notice an erection. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/70 "2011-04-12T16:49:15Z")
If I don’t feel an erection poking around back there, I’m going to be offended. :o ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/71 "2011-04-12T23:12:43Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > If I don’t feel an erection poking around back there, I’m going to be offended. :o Even if you’re cuddling a zombie? I tend to be careful not to let it be obvious if it does happen, but maybe I shouldn’t given the general sentiment of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/72 "2011-04-12T23:33:07Z")
> [@Dervorin](#): > > Even if you’re cuddling a zombie? You drop sights on a zombie and this is all you got? Couldn’t have worked in a double entendre like “stiff” or something? Kids today… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/73 "2011-04-13T16:51:18Z")
> [@dgrdfd](#): > > Wooh, I am relieved to see this. I thought I was some kind of deviant or pervert or something. I suppose I still might be, but not because of this in and of itself. I would get them and begin doing the “think of mom, think of mom…crap still not working…think of grandma, think of puppies…” trick and I couldn’t get it to go down. No one ever said anything negative about them, but I still felt somewhat ashamed or embarrassed because of it. > > BTW, I am 25 year old male. 30 year old male here. Thinking of little girls can also help. While, in a sense, erections are involuntary, if you are getting them in inappropriate situations, it may be appropriate to consider your relationship and whether or not you should be cuddling. There’s no easy answer - you have to consider all the facts. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/74 "2011-04-15T13:25:46Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Friend didn’t notice, but boxers + tight jeans + young hormones = is that a banana in yer pocket or are ya just happy to see me? Now you understand why baggy pants were (are?) so popular. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/75 "2011-04-15T13:41:13Z")
Actually, this is part of why I don’t find cuddling after sex appealing (the other part is it’s just uncomfortable to me): I’ll eventually get a boner and want sex again. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But I need to sleep eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/76 "2011-04-15T14:26:46Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Now you understand why baggy pants were (are?) so popular. For me it’s the boxers that are the problem. If you have supportive underwear, your boner will be held up against your stomach and won’t be nearly as noticeable as if it was allowed to push out forcibly against your jeans. Baggy makes things worse in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Postgrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@Postgrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Postgrad)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/77 "2021-12-14T21:13:07Z")
I usually had embarrassing erections when I would go out on a date and the girl sat close to me in the car or at a movie. After getting to know the girl well, the erections would not occur quite as spontaneously unless we were kissing and cuddling. Also, every time I went out with a girl wearing short shorts, my erections would be so strong they became very uncomfortable, even if I knew the girl well. The last two girls (both virgins) I dated before I met my wife noticed the erections, much to my embarrassment. The first one asked me if I would like an HJ while we were kissing. Of course, I said “yes.” The second one told me “that looks uncomfortable,” and asked if I needed "to take care of ‘the problem’ " myself while we cuddled. Apparently, her previous boyfriend had the same problem and took care of it the same way. She saw nothing wrong with it. Those were wonderful fun times! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2021, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/78 "2021-12-16T00:13:12Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > Now you understand why baggy pants were (are?) so popular. > > For me it’s the boxers that are the problem. If you have supportive underwear, your boner will be held up against your stomach and won’t be nearly as noticeable as if it was allowed to push out forcibly against your jeans. Baggy makes things worse in my experience. FTR, when I said pants, I meant the US usage for the outer garments, not underwear. I agree that more supportive underwear is a good idea, and may be why I never encountered this problem. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2021, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/79 "2021-12-16T00:56:14Z")
If your zombie erection lasts for more than 11 years, consult your physician. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2021, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850/80 "2021-12-16T00:56:17Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > You drop sights on a zombie and this is all you got? Couldn’t have worked in a double entendre like “stiff” or something? Kids today… Zombies gets stiffffffieeees. (And are turned on by brainsss? I don’t know…) Male, 43. Spooning with a girl is a good way to generate an erection. My groin lines up pretty good with her butt, and wrapping my arm around her usually ends up with my hands near her breasts. That’s a pretty solid combination right there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/erections-while-cuddling-spooning/504850.md?page=5)