# Err... how do I meet women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 16, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591 "2006-10-16T03:00:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/1 "2006-10-16T03:00:16Z")
So, I’ve been wopndering… how do I meet women. I’m 25, and let’s just say my romantic experiences have been… limited. Any advice? No women at work, and my church is in the 'burbs, so limited opps there (all the ones my age move to the city). ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/2 "2006-10-16T03:27:08Z")
Dude, the answer is right in front of you: [online dating!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=390938) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/3 "2006-10-16T03:32:50Z")
This 26-year-old woman, who feels that she needs to get out more, has just decided to attend the local knitting and quilting guilds, and the murder mystery book group. She’d also love to take archery lessons, bellydance lessons, ceramics lessons, and hurdy-gurdy lessons, if she could get them lined up. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/4 "2006-10-16T03:49:24Z")
I met my boyfriend on okcupid. Several of my friends have also met worthwhile people on this site, and hey, it’s free. Give it a shot. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/5 "2006-10-16T03:51:31Z")
[QUOTE=Sattua] This 26-year-old woman, who feels that she needs to get out more, has just decided to attend the local knitting and quilting guilds, and the murder mystery book group. She’d also love to take archery lessons, bellydance lessons, ceramics lessons, and hurdy-gurdy lessons, if she could get them lined up. [/QUOTE] How could there be hurdy-gurdy lessons? That would require two hurdy-gurdies in the same room, one for the teacher and one for the student. And that just seems hilariously implausible… ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/6 "2006-10-16T03:53:31Z")
I’ve heard there are lots of ladies at the gym… but I can’t be an authority on that ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/7 "2006-10-16T04:02:14Z")
To paraphrase our 32nd president, You have nothing to fear, but fear itself! Approach, introduce and forget the “come on” lines. The worst thing that can happen is rejection, if you don’t take risks you’re missing out on the very basic joys of life. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/8 "2006-10-16T11:41:47Z")
I met my boyfriend playing RPGs. Mage, actually. Although I’ve heard that gaming isn’t the best place to meet chicks… ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/9 "2006-10-16T12:25:50Z")
[QUOTE=smiling bandit] So, I’ve been wopndering… how do I meet women. [/QUOTE] Move to the city where the women are? It might help if you get a dog, too. What the hell is a 25 year old single guy doing living in the burbs, anyway? I know shitloads of single women. . .of course I’m matrimonally restricted from doing anything about it, but I know 'em. ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/10 "2006-10-16T13:07:13Z")
I’m the dude who started the aforementioned “online dating” thread, and man, it’s working great for me. Like you, I didn’t want to date someone from work. I didn’t want to date a friend. I’m completely awful at just walking up to someone and starting a conversation and asking for a number. So I went with the [match.com](http://match.com) thing. I’ve been on a couple dates with a couple different girls. It’s fun to get out there and meet new people, do new things. It builds up your confidence. It’s just fun. I just turned 27, so I can tell ya there’s plenty of girls there in our age range. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/11 "2006-10-16T15:16:36Z")
Some non-bar/club options: 1. Borrow a puppy, descend upon local Starbucks patio area. You’ll be like Conan, crushing enemies and driving them before you. 2. Identify local colleges/universities in the area, and the businesses that are nearest to them. Diners and coffeeshops in the area should be overrun with college girls. 3. Find public places that have been selected via whatever sort of groupthink gestalt designates certain locations as “meat markets.” Namely, grocery stores and bookstores. Some are dead, others are jumping. You just have to find the right one. Someone looking to flirt in a bookstore around here might be disappointed unless they walked into the right one on a Sunday night and then boom, HELLOOO BOOBIES. It’s like heaven opens up and ass pours out. 4. Always be nice to chicks who you are otherwise not interested in. Because they have friends, and some of those friends are hot. Same goes for the older ladies, they got daughters. 5. Bored and restless? Here’s a good trick: laundromats. Check them out, and bring the puppy. This can be a project that takes a few weeks to complete, but you’ll eventually get an idea of which 24-hour laundries are hosting bored single girls who don’t own washing machines. Plus, your hamper gets empty and you weren’t doing anything better anyway. 6. Friend of mine used to swear by airports (!), but post-911 I guess that’s over. Or not? I’ll try and think of more later. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/12 "2006-10-16T15:21:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sattua] This 26-year-old woman, who feels that she needs to get out more, has just decided to attend the local knitting and quilting guilds, and the murder mystery book group. She’d also love to take archery lessons, bellydance lessons, ceramics lessons, and hurdy-gurdy lessons, if she could get them lined up. [/QUOTE] Do bear in mind that if you’re looking for a guy, several of your choices aren’t going to help too much… knitting, quilting and belly-dancing aren’t likely to draw too many mid-20’s guys. For the hurdy-gurdy, you just have to know the right people. **Sattua,** you wouldn’t happen to know people in the SCA, would you? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/13 "2006-10-16T15:24:04Z")
Highly recommended, the Supermarket late on a Sat afternoon around 4. Loadsa ladies who have bugger all lined up for that night…check it out man 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/14 "2006-10-16T15:26:35Z")
Volunteer. Many non-profits and charities need people to help out, and it’s a great way to meet people with similar interests. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/15 "2006-10-16T15:33:23Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Highly recommended, the Supermarket late on a Sat afternoon around 4. Loadsa ladies who have bugger all lined up for that night…check it out man 😃 [/QUOTE] In my experience, my local supermarket is a great place to meet _married_ women. ☹ It must be my neighbourhood. OTOH, the all-night supermarket neat Bloor and Spadina is packed with college students on Sunday night, as they return from the weekend and stock up on food for the week. If I was that age… :: le sigh :: Moral: choose carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/16 "2006-10-16T15:35:00Z")
Another endorsement for volunteering. I,ve met lots of interesting women there, though nothing clicked. But only volunteer for something you are actually interested in. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/17 "2006-10-16T15:54:59Z")
I’m terrible at meeting women in just about any venue. I at long last resorted to personal ads in the paper. Some are cheap, many are free. You’ll have to experiment with different papers and different ads, but you’ll eventually hit on something that works. Then you’ll go on some dates, most of which will be with loathesome losers, but every once in a great while you’ll meet someone very nice. And that’s all it takes. It’s a pain but it does work. And there are dating services, but they seem little better than personals, and far more expensive. And the online thing is the same, but more high tech. Be sure to work on a good ad. Here are some examples: Good (sort of): **Knight in slightly rusted armor** Seeks his lady. SWM, 25, wants to whisk you away to enchanted kingdom. Secure stable man with romantic streak looking for lady to capture his heart and to steal kisses under the stars. Bad: **Lonely guy seeks woman** SWM, 25, seeks lady friend. Pls B gd lking. Like walks on the beach&cndllt dnnrs. No weirdos or fat chix. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/18 "2006-10-16T16:17:05Z")
Swing dancing. Lots of people do it as a hobby. Find a local studio that offers a lesson followed by dancing. You’ll be in an environment where close physical contact with the opposite sex is not only acceptable but expected; but it’s not quite so up-in-your-face intimate as ballroom dancing, and it’s generally easier to do. Conversation on the dance floor is just barely possible – at least, much easier than in a nightclub, where the music is typically too loud for such. However, be prepared to dance with a lot of old ladies and a lot of jailbait, just out of routine courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/19 "2006-10-16T16:29:54Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] In my experience, my local supermarket is a great place to meet _married_ women. ☹ It must be my neighbourhood. OTOH, the all-night supermarket neat Bloor and Spadina is packed with college students on Sunday night, as they return from the weekend and stock up on food for the week. If I was that age… :: le sigh :: Moral: choose carefully. [/QUOTE] Do you have something against married women? IMO if a married wench is on the ‘pick-up’ then something is lacking from the marriage itself and who is to say that hubby isn’t doing the same thing at another supermarket. Myself? yeah you guessed, I aint a picky bloke 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591/20 "2006-10-16T16:33:31Z")
[QUOTE=MaxTheVool] How could there be hurdy-gurdy lessons? That would require two hurdy-gurdies in the same room, one for the teacher and one for the student. And that just seems hilariously implausible… [/QUOTE] You do realize, of course, that a hurdy-gurdy is not the large boxlike “instrument” played by organ-grinders’ monkeys, but a small lute-sized string instrument from the Middle Ages. Still, they are expensive and very hard to find, so yeah, it is hard to imagine two in a room. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/err-how-do-i-meet-women/376591.md?page=2)