# Escape of the Killer Menorah **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2006, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762 "2006-12-19T09:40:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/1 "2006-12-19T09:40:26Z")
With Hanukkah upon us, and working in a suburb of Melbourne with the highest concentration of Jewish people in our state, I have been delighted to watch the annual erection of large menorahs in gardens and shop fronts celebrating the festival. Which also means its time for my annual rant about the festive practice of sticking, taping and or roping a gi-fucking-normous menorah to the roof of your car. They’re bloody everywhere, and for some reason, in this local suburban group reknowned for their creative and less-than-conventional driving skills _anyway_😃 , the menorah-drivers are the absolute worst of the worst. They double-park at whim, or on the footpath if the fancy takes them, they do U turns against oncoming traffic, zoom through red lights and let their little kids get out on the roadside. They behave as if the bloody great wooden thing on top of their car is the equivalent of waving a crucifix in front of the devils nose: in other words, they seem to believe that they are immune to any danger whatsoever. I’ll give them their dues that they don’t take their cars out of the suburb (and make the rest of Melbourne suffer their recklessness), but for fuck’s sake!! If they WERE to be in an accident, the menorah would become like a lethal missile shooting through the air and seriously injuring or perhaps killing pedestrians or other drivers. Please take those fucken things off your car. By all means, hang a little one off’ve your rear-view mirror if you please, but get the monsters off. They scare the shit out of me. Happy Hanukkah all the same. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/2 "2006-12-19T10:24:04Z")
Well shit. Who knew some Jews could out-tacky the people who put up noise-making Christmas decorations? They’re Australian Jews. Maybe that makes a difference. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/3 "2006-12-19T10:41:52Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Well shit. Who knew some Jews could out-tacky the people who put up noise-making Christmas decorations? They’re Australian Jews. Maybe that makes a difference. [/QUOTE] Well, we’ve got the [Big Pineapple](http://www.netspeed.com.au/ian.gay/images/qld/big%20pineapple.jpg), the [Big Banana](http://www.richardandjo.com/images/banana.jpg), and the [Bloody Big Woolly Thing](http://mishami.image.pbase.com/v3/86/10286/2/48552194.Big_Merino.jpg), maybe the Jewish community are approaching the assimilation doctrine with a ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ approach. 😃 All jokes aside though, the things are a menace. Most of them are just tied down with a couple of elastic straps, so in the case of a collision, they’d likely break free and hurtle down Carlisle Street knocking folks for a sixer. It’s actually **AGAINST THE LAW** to carry things on your car unless they are restrained in a roof-rack or other contraption designed to carry articles on the roof. But for some reason, the local coppers seem to turn a blind eye to such infringements: I’m guessing that because the area is predominantly Jewish, they would be accused of racial/ethnic discrimination if they were to start cracking down on the practice. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/4 "2006-12-19T12:22:46Z")
Wow… that’s just… damn, that’s tacky. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/5 "2006-12-19T12:23:10Z")
> [@](#): > > annual erection You said ‘erection’…tee heeee. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/6 "2006-12-19T13:34:47Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] They’re Australian Jews. Maybe that makes a difference. [/QUOTE] _“Oy vey, Mate! Throw another gefilte fish on the barbie!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/7 "2006-12-19T13:49:59Z")
A plastic Menorah attached to a car that, when in an accident with another car, flies off to decapitate the other driver with Divine Might ™? Why am I thinking this would make a cool ‘Hotwheels’ action set (complete with small plastic parts to get stuck in the vacuum cleaner days later)? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/8 "2006-12-19T14:08:39Z")
Uh oh. My husband and son reported last night spotting a pick up truck with a ten foot menorah, lit, in the bed, driving down Western. I told them to quit drinking the nog. Apparently, Chicago’s being invaded by Jewish Australians. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/9 "2006-12-19T14:59:52Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] You said ‘erection’…tee heeee. [/QUOTE] “Annual erection”… that’s just sad, man. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/10 "2006-12-19T15:06:03Z")
**kambuckta** can you take a photo? I’d really love to see it. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/11 "2006-12-19T15:11:10Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta] the [Bloody Big Woolly Thing](http://mishami.image.pbase.com/v3/86/10286/2/48552194.Big_Merino.jpg) [/QUOTE] Okay, I give up. What IS that thing? It can’t be the “Peppin Merino Statue” because that’s evidently a bronze effigy (can’t find a picture of it, though) and if somebody somewhere managed to cast a bronze effigy the size of a house, I’ll have to pack up and move to Oz in deference to their obvious technical superiority in the making of humongous statues referring to obscure historical events. I thought it was a Jewish “thing” at first, given the thread’s context, and was briefly fascinated that the Australian Jews had made themselves a gigantic fiberglass memorial to Abraham’s Ram. How wonderful, I thought, that they had decided that Abraham’s Ram must have been an Australian Merino. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/12 "2006-12-19T15:28:23Z")
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] I thought it was a Jewish “thing” at first, given the thread’s context, and was briefly fascinated that the Australian Jews had made themselves a gigantic fiberglass memorial to Abraham’s Ram. [/QUOTE] But it lacks something. It doesn’t have enough zip and pizazz. I know… Let’s paint it! Who has the gold spray paint? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/13 "2006-12-19T15:28:24Z")
[QUOTE=velvetjones] **kambuckta** can you take a photo? I’d really love to see it. [/QUOTE] You want to see a photo of kambuckta’s annual erection? You perv! ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/14 "2006-12-19T15:36:29Z")
Here’s a picture of a [menorah parade](http://www.shmais.com/pages.cfm?page=photo_view&picID=9191&photoseventID=140) in Sydney. Apparently they have similar things elsewhere, as well. I found pictures of car menorahs and menorah parades taken in Copenhagen, Paris, Hollywood, FL, and even Charlotte, NC. I’d never seen such a thing before, ever. And I thought it was weird when I moved to the South and saw people who’d strapped a Christmas wreath to the front of their car. The things you learn on the Internet. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/15 "2006-12-19T16:31:00Z")
Oh when, oh when will people learn that sticking ornamentations to your cars makes your bad driving more noticible? People _remember_ seeing a car with a giant menorah or a Jesus Fish breaking traffic laws. That’s why I don’t have any bumper stickers or other identifying marks on my vehicle. My bad driving just blends into people’s memory of other bad drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/16 "2006-12-19T16:44:35Z")
You at least have to admire these folks for not giving a damn what impression they give of their coreligionists’ driving abilities. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/17 "2006-12-19T17:09:04Z")
Wow. That’s just… wow. Around here the Jews keep their heads down and act classy. The most display you see is a menorah in the window, _maybe_. One synagogue is on one of those streets with the lighted decorations on the telephone poles, and the ones on the three by the synagogue are stars of David. Classy. I can’t imagine ever in my life seeing a giant menorah strapped to somebody’s car. Unless they’d bagged it when it was in season and were carrying it home. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/18 "2006-12-19T18:02:22Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] > [@](#): > > annual erection You said ‘erection’…tee heeee. [/QUOTE] Different perspectives. You found the use of the word funny. I found the fact that it was only an annual event rather sad. Poor mensch. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/19 "2006-12-19T19:10:07Z")
I cannot be the only one that reads the title of the thread to the tune of “Attach of the Killer Tomatoes” ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762/20 "2006-12-19T21:39:03Z")
[QUOTE=ShelliBean] I cannot be the only one that reads the title of the thread to the tune of “Attach of the Killer Tomatoes” [/QUOTE] I think that was his intention. I thank the OP for a seriously well done pitting. I also thank him for the best laugh I’ve had all day. On behalf of my fellow co-religionists I’d like to apologise for some members who clearly ought to drummed out of the tribe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/escape-of-the-killer-menorah/384762.md?page=2)