# Esprix: Hypocrite, Asshole & also Gay **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443 "2002-12-04T15:13:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/221 "2002-12-05T19:21:25Z")
:shrug: Whatever, **Hastur**. But I’d suggest, if you choose to pursue your complaints against **Gobear** that you start another threrad for it. Continuing in this one only gives Ace more credit than he deserves. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/222 "2002-12-05T19:23:38Z")
What does “get it in the …” mean? The double period? No, only women get periods. The dot dot? Dot is usually a womans name, although I suppose it could belong to a gay man. Speak up man, stop shilly shallying around. It’s giggly-fuck attitudes like this that are part of the problem. A “Bottom” is a gay man _who gets fucked up his asshole by another man’s cock_. A “Top” is a gay man _who fuckes another man in the asshole with his cock_ ---
**Author:** ![Deptford](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Deptford](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deptford)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/223 "2002-12-05T19:34:17Z")
> [@](#): > > His4Ever, Jersey Diamond & Joe Cool, Ace of Spades and others can make hideous claims and remarks about other religions, sexualities, et al, and even when they are pitted, they are not hounded into an apology. > In July I was hounded to apologize for using the term breeder. Now Esprix has been hounded to apologize to Ace of Spades for suggesting he needs a nice, consentual hard dick up the ass to work that stick and bug out that has gotten lodged there. If you use offensive language you should apologise.That is clearly the correct thing to do. It is to your credit and Esprix 's that you did so.If His4ever , Jersey Diamond …etc etc didn’t , well they should have done. But one, or however many’s persons bad behaviour in not apologising does not excuse anyone else behaving in a similar fashion. This isn’t political correctness , this is civilised behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/224 "2002-12-05T19:48:33Z")
> [@](#): > > As far as I am concerned with you, gobear, you either respond as Kirkland-lite or you are such an apologist that I wonder if you channel Andrew Sullivan in your spare time You should look up the word “apologist.” It means " one who speaks or writes **in defense of** someone or something," and doe not mean “to apologize.” I speak up in defense of what I believe in, in this case, that we should never give creatures like **Ace** the chance to play the victim or to garner sympathy. If you don’t like my posts, too bad. I post as I see fit and nobody–not you nor any other poster–will tell me how to think or write. In any event, with your posting history, you are in no position to criticize anyone else as “Kirkland-lite.” And yes, **Esprix** is a great guy and an awesome poster, but he is not infallible. ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/225 "2002-12-05T19:50:07Z")
I think **Esprix** was expected to apologize _because_ he’s such a moderate gay poster. It’s like a member of your family having a bad day - which they are allowed, but anything bad they do during the course of said day can’t be just written off. Dopers expected **Esprix** to apologize because he is capable of seeing when he’s wrong. Because he’s rational. Political correctness never entered into it, IMHO. The phrasing seemed over the top to some posters, and they were offended. **Esprix** apologized to the people who mattered - his friends. If you don’t treat your friends well, you won’t have any. This is one of those times when this place isn’t ‘just a message board’. ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/226 "2002-12-05T20:04:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*What does “get it in the …” mean? The double period? No, only women get periods. The dot dot? Dot is usually a womans name, although I suppose it could belong to a gay man. > Speak up man, stop shilly shallying around. It’s giggly-fuck attitudes like this that are part of the problem. > > A “Bottom” is a gay man _who gets fucked up his asshole by another man’s cock_. > > A “Top” is a gay man _who fuckes another man in the asshole with his cock_ \*\* Funnily enough, you seem to have caught the intent of my “…” quite easily. So quit your bitching. What the fuck does my giggly-fuck attitude have to do with the problem. And what the hell is the problem? I think getting it up the ass is funny. I think its hilarious every time I do it. As well as really kinky. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/227 "2002-12-05T20:06:36Z")
Exactly. We expect better of **Esprix** than we do some others because he IS a better person. Now, **Hastur** , you are the one overreacting. Now get back into that theater or I’m sending you nothing but _Left Behind_ fan films!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/228 "2002-12-05T20:16:08Z")
I just have to say that I’m very amused to find anyone construing ESPRIX’s comment as merely “political incorrectness.” I’ve seen some world-class minimization of things said around here, but this probably takeS the cake. It doesn’t piss me off or anything; I just think it’s pretty funny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/229 "2002-12-05T20:20:16Z")
Oh I am so tempted to suggest that a certain someone needs a certain something up his certain somewhere. :::cough-Hastur-cough::: But I won’t ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/230 "2002-12-05T20:27:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*Did you miss the part where he apologised and we all move on? \*\* You’re right, I shoulda let it drop. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/231 "2002-12-05T20:53:16Z")
**Hastur** , dear, don’t you think we’ve had enough acrimony for today? It’s not worth it, really - look, nearly everyone’s gone home. Save your mighty eviscerating powers for another time, ok? And for heaven’s sake, don’t poke the **gobear**. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/232 "2002-12-05T20:59:39Z")
Hastur - We’ve both been lurking around these boards for a long time but haven’t interacted much (if any), so don’t really know each other. It would appear that this isn’t done well enough for you so it needs a few more minutes on the grill… once we sit down together to enjoy this well roasted flesh we should know each other better. I hope we end up liking each other. “I think it is less about Esprix and more about fear and the rigidity of sexual/gender identity.” I’m an open minded guy and don’t have any fear or any issue with people’s gender or sexual identity. For the record, I’m a heterosexual white male, I like women a whole bunch and Lola in particular. I’ve been hit on alot by homosexual men and can only take it as a compliment that someone else sees me as being attractive. My brother gets hit on by a lot of women and although he is pleased with the attention, he does not find women sexually attractive. Perhaps we should have been trading our admirers back in the days before we were happily committed? Anyways… I’m with Gobear, who I do not consider an apologist but simply someone who thinks another poster crossed a line with their comments and needed to apologize no matter what he thought of the offended party. You said: “He was bullied into it by the pile on of posters, mostly straight, who seemed to take MASSIVE offense.” I don’t see Esprix as being someone who would let himself be bullied by anyone into saying anything he didn’t believe and to suggest that is insulting to Esprix. What does “mostly straight” have to do with anything unless you believe the negative comments were based on an anti-gay bias rather than people simply being offended by the comments that were made, and then apologized for. So let’s forget about Esprix and Ace for a moment… If **I** told anyone they needed to take a good hard dick up the ass I would get my head handed to me and it would be deserved. No matter who I said this to, I would owe them an apology. If you called an individual or a group “breeders” (which can be an offensive term), you probably also needed to apologize. None of us are infallible. Polite society dictates that when we offend any individual or a group, we apologize. This is what helps us all get along. If we practiced this more the Pit would be a pretty dull place with rants about traffic, telemarketers, SUV’s… etc and see a lot less threads like this which really should be resolved elsewhere before they become trainwrecks. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/233 "2002-12-05T22:18:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > **[Esprix] was bullied into it by the pile on of posters, mostly straight, who seemed to take MASSIVE offense.** Bullshit yourself. You seem to think that bullying is a valid reason for an apology. Well, you’re wrong. As you pointed out, I have not been “hounded into an apology,” nor has gobear, Jerseydiamond, or His4ever. Are you saying that we are all stronger than Esprix, and less susceptible to peer pressure? If that’s true, then your case for his being a better person than all of us is pretty weak. **gobear** and I have some pretty vicious disagreements in the road behind us, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more ahead, but he has pretty much always been good about apologizing when he’s been wrong, as have I (though we’ve both had our moments). Esprix is wrong. He should apologize, and I don’t mean a petty, “Finei’msorrybecausetheteachermademedoit” B.S. apology. He should acknowledge that he was acting like an ass and purposely sowing discontent, and apologize sincerely. A sincere apology cannot be bullied out of somebody, they have to arrive at it on their own, and if Esprix is the honorable man you paint him to be, he will do so. But the fact is that he was acting like a jerk, was purposely being offensive (as he himself has acknowledged several times), and deserves the dressing down he’s received in this thread. You can’t demand fair and reasonable treatment from everybody else when you’re being snide (“oh, Zing!”) and dishing out insults at the same time. You don’t get to say “oh, it’s ok to insult Ace because I don’t like him.” Either everyone can act like an ass, or else nobody should. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/234 "2002-12-05T22:24:23Z")
But, hastur, once again you’re helping to reinforce my theory that it’s ok to be hateful and abusive to people as long as you hate the right people. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/235 "2002-12-05T22:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\* and if Esprix is the honorable man you paint him to be, he will do so. \*\* He has and you posting here is nothing more than either intentional shit-stirring or evidence of piss-poor reading comprehension. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/236 "2002-12-05T22:39:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*He has and you posting here is nothing more than either intentional shit-stirring or evidence of piss-poor reading comprehension. \*\* Oooh, I see…that would be the one that said > [@](#): > > And I’ll retract the insult to boot. Ace, and others, I apologize for my “taking it up the ass” comment. and came immediately following seven posts wherein he insisted that he meant the offensiveness of the insult, then after several posters told him he was making himself look bad, he said “ok, I’ll shut up now…and I’ll retract…”? Sounds like a pretty piss-poor apology to me. Looks more of the type I mentioned above. The “Finei’msorrybecausetheteachermademesayso” type, which means nothing. I strongly suspect that it was a B.S. apology that he felt pushed into, and not sincere acknowledgement of fault. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m stirring the shit. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/237 "2002-12-05T22:48:04Z")
well actually, yes, I’d agree that in this case you are, indeed stirring the shit. I’m unaware of a ruling that suggests that a posted appology is only considered sincere after it’s passed your test. He said “fine, I retract the statement, and appologize for the comment”. neithe you nor anyone else is qualified to read his (or anyone else’s mind) to determine if he’s sincere. you can accept the appolgy (that’s generally called graciousness) or reject the appology (as you appear to be doing, and that’s called ‘stirring the shit’) your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/238 "2002-12-05T22:54:53Z")
I wasn’t apologized to, since I wasn’t involved, so it’s not my business to accept or reject it. I’m simply pointing out that an apology that is only a formality, given in the sense of “ok, there. now move along…” doesn’t mean anything. I’m not trying to cause trouble or prolong the fight, only hoping that Esprix would offer as sincere an apology as he would demand from me or anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/239 "2002-12-05T22:57:29Z")
For everyone’s information, this issue is also being discussed privately between **Ace** and me via e-mail. I plan on not posting to this thread again. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443/240 "2002-12-05T23:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > **For a board so dedicated to dispelling ignorance, there seems be some fear where sexuality is concerned.** You don’t say… Is it that obvious? I mean, the fact that same sex marriages are illegal in most states wasn’t a giveaway? Or that GLAAD is always in the news about some hate crime against gays? Or that heterosexual males who are somewhat insecure about themselves, like myself, for instance, (or **Ace** , for that matter) have bad reactions when gay men hit on us? This board is just a small cross-section of the world, and the world is polarized about this the same as we are. That was a very puerile observation, **Hastur**. Using that as a point of attack is a very cheap way to score points. I admit to that being one of my character flaws freely. However, I respect your rights, views and opinions, and if you could just show that same understanding in realizing that there are in fact heterosexual males who recoil in horror when stuff like that is said to them, then we’d all be much better off. I’m glad you think that comment was funny. I didn’t, and neither did **Ace**. Understand? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-hypocrite-asshole-also-gay/140443.md?page=13)