# Esprix the Newbie? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649 "2001-10-25T21:43:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/21 "2001-10-26T00:16:58Z")
there are boobies on the second page of that thread… [sub]look. it’s cute. oh, the things you can do with pictures…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/22 "2001-10-26T00:18:37Z")
I like their animated rolley-eyes smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/23 "2001-10-26T00:22:32Z")
BTW, here’s a little fuel for your flame, **Esprix** : [http://www.sinfest.net/d/20000324.html](http://www.sinfest.net/d/20000324.html) It’s a link to a Sinfest comic that expicitly shows the debt Tatsuyo owes to Calvin and Hobbes. Don’t those assholes even read the comic? ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/24 "2001-10-26T00:38:41Z")
Just please, PLEASE, **PLEASE don’t** invite any of those fools over here. We have enough nitwits and trolls, thenkyewverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/25 "2001-10-26T00:41:52Z")
ok, who’s trolling there under “SpankyMalone”? you know that that is against the rules… it is also an assholic thing to do. esprix can carry his own, and a few people there are seeing things as what they truly are, a junior-high level pileon that the pilers are LOSING. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/26 "2001-10-26T00:47:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Man, I am so outclassed! ( :rolleyes: ) > > Although I will admit I also like the “eat a bag of Hell” comment. Clever, thems is… > > And remember, kids - it’s ok to make fun of people if you don’t like them as long as your cronies back you up! > > Esprix \*\* Oh man…I should let the trolls at SAAN know about this place. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/27 "2001-10-26T02:01:53Z")
Hi kids. I know you don’t want the junior high kids sitting here at the cool kids table, but I figure I deserve the chance to wage the same **David v. Goliath** battle that **esprix** seems to see himself winning. Picture this: There I am, armed with only my 13 years of study in **Hard Knocks University** , raging homophobia, vast library of “Yo Mama” jokes, and pre adolescent angst, squaring off against the much older, more mature, well read, and devestatingly handsome esprix. Considering those odds, I think I made a pretty good go of it. I’ve edited out the comments of my compatriots to give the lazy a pure, unadultarated clash of the titans. > [@](#): > > _The Opening Salvo_ > Since, you’re new, I figure I’ll help you out. > > **A PRIMER: WHAT WE FIND FUNNY HERE AT [SINFEST.NET](http://SINFEST.NET) AND WHAT WE DO NOT** > > Funny: Scott Kurtz’s obesity and inability to lose weight. Specifically, I delight in making a connection between his last name and the name of Marlon Brando’s extremely overweight character in Apocalypse Now > > Not Funny: Scott Kurtz’s jokes. > > Cheers! > [@](#): > > _The Return Fire_ > I obviously disagree about PvP, but whatever - as we say over at the Straight Dope, “YMMV.” (Oh, and nice ad hominem attack against Scott - very tasteless and childish. If you don’t find him funny, that’s all you need to say; attacking him unnecessarily undermines any credibility you might have. But, hey, YMMV… > [@](#): > > _Top of Inning 2_ > As I say around my house, **What the hell are you talking about?** Although I can’t really understand what your trying to say, I’ll try to give you a decent reply. You see, I left my **Latin to English** dictionary in my other pants. _The ones I left at your mom’s house after a wild night of sex_. > > Seriously, though… my _credibility_? > > We’re talking internet comics here, not the cure for cancer. Whether I’m _credible_ on the subject of funny pictures on the internet is not really a big deal to me. I’m not sure why it is to you. > [@](#): > > _Bottom of Inning 2_ > Oh, I’m sorry - did I use words too big for you? There’s this wonderful online resource you might want to try - Merriam-Webster. > > So, if you think PvP isn’t funny, what does the size of its author have to do with that? I saw a purile (oh, sorry, too big a word for you - try “childish”) attack that makes you look like a jerk, so I called you on it. Sorry if that bothers you. > > What are you, 12? > > Whether its funny or not isn’t what I was addressing; rather, your ignorant insult was. > > Feel free to ask for more definitions of any of those big words you don’t understand or won’t look up yourself. > [@](#): > > _The Last Straw_ > Funny you should mention [m-w.com](http://m-w.com) I was actually on that web site just last night. I was using the “speak” function to make my computer say “whore” so that it rhymed with “Demi Moore”. > > But I digress. I probably should note that the least understandable section of your post was only four letters long. I don’t know what prof over at Asshole University convinced you that using incomprehensible acronyms makes you smarter, nor do I know what the Straight Dope is. However, like I always say, **EATME**. > > I note that while you appear to be majoring in **English** and **Being An Assclown** , your counting skills leave much to be desired. Purile, with 6 letters, is astoundingly smaller than Childish, which has 8 letters. Looks like you’ve been neglecting your studies in **How To Talk As If You Are Speaking To A Three Year Old Child.** > > In an effort to steal your title as “King of The Wordy Insults”, I’ll throw this one into the ring: > > _Your Mother is a Vietnamese Prostitute_ > > “Vietnamese Prostitute”, with a collosal 20 letters, crushes your entry, “You are 12”, which has a measly 6. > > **Special Bonus Section** > > Since you seem to be confused, I’ve compiled a quick list of things that are important, and things that are not. > > **Important** > > Family > Friends > Love > The True Meaning of Christmas > > **Not Important** > > What “thegrimspectreofreddeath” thinks about a fat internet cartoonist. Unfortunately, at this point my friends decided that I should not be the only one to engage in a spirited debate. I believe esprix, in his hurry to defend his honor and maturity, simply overlooked my last post. Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/28 "2001-10-26T02:02:56Z")
Bleeech - other message boards. Yuck! I popped my posting cherry at a BareNaked Ladies message board 4 years ago. (Give me a break, okay? I was young, and it was way before One Week turned them into popstars). The first thread was like, “Whose your favorite BNL?” I posted, “Ed. I saw them live and he was so fun and crazy…” “YOU LIKE ED BECAUSE HE’S HOT!” “WE HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!” "THERE ARE OTHER BNL BESIDE ED! BITCH! “WE HATE YOU! GO AWAY! YOU SUCK!” I swear, they didn’t even read my post about him onstage. They all just thought I had a crush on him. It was so traumatic, I stayed away from MBs until I found this one. ---
**Author:** ![k.os](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@k.os](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k.os)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/29 "2001-10-26T02:05:24Z")
So, am I the only one surprised that a someone from the thread **Esprix** linked came here to troll? ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/30 "2001-10-26T02:08:07Z")
Well I guess the first rule of dragging a fight from another board is maybe, just maybe, using a different user name. I’m grumpy Esprix. The last thing we need here is a lovely invasion from another board. There’s enough happy, happy,joy, joy with trolls as it is without this crap. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/31 "2001-10-26T02:12:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thegrimspectreofreddeath \* > _ **snipped – a bunch of whining** _ Son, you done fucked up if you really want to fight this war. Step away from the keyboard. I’m sure there’s a Brittney Spears poster you need to be jerking off to or something. Skoal! ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/32 "2001-10-26T02:12:19Z")
I would really love to thank whomever the fuck that was went trolling over on that board. Real cool, you fuckstick, what a great idea. Left Behind, anyone? **thegrimspectreofreddeath** – Suffice it to say that very few people here have any interest in the topics on your board. I, for one, will apologize for the shithead that went trolling over in your neck of the woods. This is just shit we don’t need, on both sides, agreed? > [@](#): > > _k.os says:_ > So, am I the only one surprised that a someone from the thread Esprix linked came here to troll? easy there, **k.os** – some cockwrench from HERE went trolling over there first. I really hope this doesn’t turn out like I have a feeling it’s going to. Once again, in case it isn’t clear, A GIANT **FUCK YOU** TO THE DOPER WHO WENT TROLLING OVER THERE! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/33 "2001-10-26T02:12:47Z")
I guess I made an “ass” out of “u” and “me” when I ass-u-me-d that the Straight Dope crew would have just as much fun mocking me to my face as they would behind my back. I am, after all, the author the much maligned “Yo Mama” joke. I am, after all, the one that started this whole debacle by replying to Espix’s otherwise dead thread. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/34 "2001-10-26T02:20:51Z")
allright… now, whoever was trolling as “SpankyMalone” YOU STARTED THIS CROSS TROLLING SHIT. don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t! bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! you remember what happened between the “Left Behind” board and us. (sure, it was before my time, but i’ve heard the legends.). do you really want to start a trolling war? really? just don’t. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/35 "2001-10-26T02:22:03Z")
**Mouthbreather** , **Esprix** : FYI, the “eat a bag of hell” expression is as old as the hills, but most popularized by the ever-so-l33t [JeffK](http://www.somethingawful.com/jeffk/). He’s a swell guy, and there are an awful lot of people out there (some, it seems, at the board you’re visiting, 'Spree) who embrace him as a Gawd. kEwl, d00d. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/36 "2001-10-26T02:24:29Z")
**Grimwhatevertherestofyournameis** , you don’t want to start a flame war in here. Not yet. I’ve read your posts in the other thread. You’re bringing a pocket knife to nuclear war. These folk here are armed with the verbal equivalent of tactical nukes and napalm. I frankly don’t care what the posting standards are in you home board, but here, you’d best hang out and read a bit before going off half-cocked. Right now, you’ve already loosing the moral high ground. Keep it up, and not even the trolls will help you out. Try and fit in, and who knows, maybe you’ll become welcome. Stranger things have happened. ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/37 "2001-10-26T02:25:17Z")
I’m choosing my words very carefully, because I don’t want them here - and I suppose I’m worried that criticising them may incite them to come over. And you know what could happen. **Can we let this one die for now?** I’m sure we’ll have a chance to discuss it in detail in the fullness of time. For now, silence, a lack of interest, and fewer new members here, may be desirable. I love these boards. Redboss ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/38 "2001-10-26T02:29:14Z")
I guess I should have clarified before I began. 1. I’m not going to call anyone names. 2. I’m not going to bring my friends with me. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/39 "2001-10-26T02:29:51Z")
Oh, and **grimspecter** , welcome. Stick around–folks here are much less prone to gratuitous newbie bashing that an many other boards, and there are some good discussions. For what it’s worth, “[YMMV](http://foldoc.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/foldoc.cgi?query=YMMV)” has been around on the 'net for a while. It’s useful shorthand sometimes–certainly more useful to me, at least, than “LOL” or “EMTAE.” Ok, I made that last one up. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649/40 "2001-10-26T02:31:01Z")
Geeezus, I’m just Captain Typo today. Sorry for misspelling your name, **spectre**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix-the-newbie/89649.md?page=3)