# Esprix

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [September 22, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251 "2001-09-22T22:39:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/101 "2001-09-23T19:33:19Z")

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Scorpo-nuts, huh? Call me a pervert, but that makes me giggle. 😃

:hands **Jester** tree fiddy:

[sub]…grumble…Damn overpriced concession stands…grumble[/sub]

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/102 "2001-09-23T19:35:18Z")

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ok, I know I’m not the bright bulb on the tree, but what’s the deal with the links that are invalid and what was the homepage? (I don’t want the address, I’m just wonder what it was a link to?)

**Esprix…ESSSPPPRRRIIIIXXX???**

Criminy, how long does it take to strap on cowboy boots?

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/103 "2001-09-23T19:45:37Z")

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:: rushes in ::

Ok, folks! I’m ready this time until **Esprix** gets here! I’ve got a surprise for you all to entertain and amuse you! It’s Michigan! The Froggy Wonder!

:: opens box ::

:: pulls out lethargic frog wearing a top hat ::

And HERE HE IS!

:: Trumpets blare ::

:: Michigan blinks ::

:: A hush falls over the auditorium ::

Michigan opens his mouth and says…

- 

RrrrrrRRRRrriibbbbbit!  
\*

:: Fenris picks up Michigan and, in the fashion of Frog-Whisperers from time immemorial says ten mystic words ::

:: Sets Michigan down again, whereupon Michigan begins to sing while doing a sprightly dance ::

_Hello, my baby,  
Hello, my honey,  
Hello, my ragtime gal!  
Send me a kiss by wire;  
Baby my heart’s on fire!  
If you refuse me,  
Honey, you’ll lose me,  
Then you’ll be left alone;  
Oh, baby,  
Telephone,  
And tell me  
I’m your own._

:: Michigan Bows ::

:: Thunderous Applause ::

Thank you all!

Fenris  
What? You want to know what the words _were?_ Well, It’s supposed to be a secret, but…\<sigh\> ok. The words were:  
“Do you know what [Emril](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=74025) would do with frog’s legs?”

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**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/104 "2001-09-23T19:48:05Z")

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Isn’t it just like **Esprix** to be fashionably non-existant at his own party?

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**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/105 "2001-09-23T19:48:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Miss Creant \*  
> **Esprix…ESSSPPPRRRIIIIXXX???**
> 
> Criminy, how long does it take to strap on cowboy boots? \*\*

I have no idea what time he got home last night, but I bet it was late. Of course, he often doesn’t get up until mid-afternoon on weekends…

-JOhn.

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**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/106 "2001-09-23T19:57:36Z")

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Ever have one of those times where the build up for something is just soooo big, you just know your going to get disapointed?

This is one of 'em.

If the thread gets to 6 pages I’ll check it out again.

\<stomp, stomp, stomp\*\* SLAM\*\*\>

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**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/107 "2001-09-23T19:57:54Z")

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Ohh!!! I know I’m really late and all…  
AM/PM… let me just say…

Your full of shit.

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**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/108 "2001-09-23T20:02:34Z")

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I have the awful feeling that, after all this buildup, we’re going to get **Esprix** doing a reprise of that blistering **Arnold Winkelried** insult: “You, sir, are no gentleman.”

Yo, **Jester** , let’s have some of those Scorpo-Nuts[sup]TM[/sup] over here! Jeez, the service in this place…honestly, better off catching your own scorpions, it’d be faster…

😃

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/109 "2001-09-23T20:06:17Z")

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So twas long ‘n ‘bout ev’nin’ when Brer Am come along down de road, a lippity-skippity an’ a spoilin’ for a fight.

And dere, in de road, he sees de **Esprix-baby**. En he say “Ise callin’ you out, **Esprix-baby**. Ah wants words w’t you!”

But de **Esprix-baby** , he don’ say nuthin and de Dopers, they lay low.

“Ise said, Ise callin’ you out!, **Esprix-baby**!”

But de **Esprix-baby** , he don’ say nuthin and de Dopers, they lay low.

"‘You er stuck up, dat’s w’at you is,’ says Brer Am, sezee, "‘en I’m gwine ter flame you, dat’s what I’m a gwine ter do,’ sezee.

But de **Esprix-baby** , he don’ say nuthin and de Dopers, they lay low.

Finally, Brer Am stomps off in a huff. “Ah ain’t playin’ no mo’. You is de unfriendliest bunch o’ nobodies Ah has eveh had de misfortune to meet! An’ you ain’t able t’ compete with me!”

Wit’ dat, Brer Am stomped off in huff and de Dopers partied, and **Esprix-baby** he don’ say nothin. An’ Brer Am, he’ll lay low.

Brer Fenris, with respect and admiration for Joel Chandler Harris

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**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/110 "2001-09-23T20:07:57Z")

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HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!

That is awesome!

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/111 "2001-09-23T20:32:30Z")

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Getcher Oh-fficial “Brer am an de **Esprix-baby** ” t-shirts 'ere! Hot off da presses!

\<Sees **Fenris** walking over to him with a number of lawyers in tow\>

Uh oh. Looks like it’s about time I started working the other side of the room.

\<Wheels concession cart over to opposite edge of the crowd\>

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**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/112 "2001-09-23T20:42:00Z")

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We might as well learn something while we wait…

> [@](#):
>
> Ice cold Ahrn City Beer 'ere!

> [@](#):
>
> Circus peanuts and scorpions, eh? I never thought to put those two things together. But hey, culinary adventures are good things, right?

Here’s the connection of these two things which concern **Jester**.

l. He’s in Pittsburgh.  
2. Pittsburgh is home to the [Primanti Brothers](http://www.primantibros.com/home.htm) whose sandwich is chip–chop ham inside Italian bread with cole slaw, tomatoes and French fries(all inside the sandwich). Actually, it’s quite tasty.

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**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/113 "2001-09-23T21:01:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by AM/PM \*  
> \*\*  
> Since he doesn’t, I’m going to state my best guess and let this thread ramble on without me_\*

In other words, you sense that you’re gonna get your ass handed to yourself so you’re gonna cop out like a wuss and go hide behind the washing machine while humming the star spangeled banner.

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**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/114 "2001-09-23T21:11:31Z")

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Hahaha!! Damn, **Fenris**! 😃

Hey! **Jester**! I’ll take one of dem t-shirts!

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/115 "2001-09-23T21:13:44Z")

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T-shirts? What t-shirts? What the Hell’s a t-shirt?

\<Gives **Arden** a knowing look and slips a t-shirt to her under the table, eyeing **Fenris** and his lawyers cautiously\>

Scorpot-Nuts! Get em heah! Fresh outta **Esprix’s** house and onta da grill!

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**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/116 "2001-09-23T21:43:54Z")

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Well, while we’re waiting for **Esprix** , I’m gonna go out on a limb, and hopefully not get flamed like a moth at a Rammstein concert.

I’m not saying that he’s not a total dickweed, but **AM/PM** has a point, as far as I can tell he didn’t insult **'sprix** before he got flamed.

It just seems that no matter what, if you challenge a popular or even just established poster, you are considered a troll or an idiot or a sock by default.

I don’t know anything about **Day N’ Night** , but I say he had a right to start this thread and not get shot down so immediately.

LC

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/117 "2001-09-23T22:21:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> as far as I can tell he didn’t insult 'sprix before he got flamed.

He didn’t get flamed for his OP. He got flamed because he’s been an asshole ever since he started posting here.

And note… accusing someone of being a “hit and run poster” is a bit of a slap. Especially if you can’t back it up.

> [@](#):
>
> It just seems that no matter what, if you challenge a popular or even just established poster, you are considered a troll or an idiot or a sock by default.

Did you even read the threads that were linked to earlier?

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/118 "2001-09-23T22:55:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lucki Chaarms \*  
> **Well, while we’re waiting for Esprix, I’m gonna go out on a limb, and hopefully not get flamed like a moth at a Rammstein concert.**

Not by me.

\*\*

> [@](#):
>
> I’m not saying that he’s not a total dickweed, but **AM/PM** has a point, as far as I can tell he didn’t insult **'sprix** before he got flamed.
> 
> It just seems that no matter what, if you challenge a popular or even just established poster, you are considered a troll or an idiot or a sock by default.  
> \*\*

I think part of what’s going on is that he is one of those that keeps singing the “Banned posters return” refrain, and for me, at least, it irritates me.  
\*\*

> [@](#):
>
> I don’t know anything about **Day N’ Night** , but I say he had a right to start this thread and not get shot down so immediately.\*\*

But **Lucki** , I don’t see a way to accomplish that. If someone posts something unpopular, given our little band of rugged individualists, everyone _will_ voice their opinions. I mean, the only reason he was shot down so hard is thst his OP was so patently…well…dumb. If it had merit, someone, _anyone_ would’a supported him.

And if you want to find out more about AMPM, check out the links in my first post in the thread for why he inspires such warm feelings.

Fenris

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/119 "2001-09-23T23:40:37Z")

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[Emcee comes onstage to thundrous applause, and a few boos]

Ladies and gentlemen, I just spoke with **Esprix** , and he’s getting ready _as we speak!_

[Thunderous applause, hoots n’ woots]

So, without further adieu, make yourselves comfortable, and…

**LET’S GET RRRREADY TO RRRRUMBLE!**

(I’m a a-workin’ on it…)

Esprix

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**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\
**Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esprix/83251/120 "2001-09-23T23:47:08Z")

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Ahhh…I knew he’d be around pretty soon. Excellent timing, I might add…my wine is on the way.

_::Turns on the bug zapper, makes sure there’s ice in the bucket, and lies back on the garden lounger::_  
Let the flames commence!

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