# Esteem issues, what to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 29, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706 "2004-02-29T03:13:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706/21 "2004-03-02T04:13:15Z")
> [@jastu](#): > > I tend to disagree. I did say that it’s a state of mind and I do think unless someone is clinically depressive, it is. I was giving advice for physiological depression, which seems to be ArrMatety!'s problem. Odd-socks: we depressives are so gentle with one another, aren’t we? I will say that if ‘get off your arse’ advice ever worked with us, I would use it with ’ … and just go for a walk.’ It works. (Walking, not GOYA) I really do sleep in sweats during the bad times to make it easier to get out; I know I’m on the up swing when I can manage to brush my teeth before I leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![onnagurui\_akki\_the\_unseelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/5f9b8f/32.png) [@onnagurui\_akki\_the\_unseelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onnagurui_akki_the_unseelie)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706/22 "2004-03-02T04:20:49Z")
I preach escapism. I read a book, play a video game or watch a movie. Anything to get my mind of my mind. Get plenty of light. You may not have Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it won’t hurt. Sometimes just a change of venue will help your mind escape itself. ``` I sometime buy something. A present for myself. It sounds like a very female response I know, but it always seems to help. ``` ---
**Author:** ![onnagurui\_akki\_the\_unseelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/5f9b8f/32.png) [@onnagurui\_akki\_the\_unseelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onnagurui_akki_the_unseelie)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706/23 "2004-03-02T04:22:16Z")
Now I am depressed because my typing is so horrible this evening. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706/24 "2004-03-02T06:25:26Z")
I have clinical depression which responds well to medication. But I still get the blues from time to time too. I too am a goal setter. That is how I have dealt with those big “round” birthdays. With 60 breathing down my throat last summer, I decided to damned well go to Paris. Considering that I am a little agoraphobic and haven’t flown in 31 years because of a panic attack the last time, that is a pretty big goal. I decided last April that I would go in April of 2004. Since then, whenever I have felt down, I’ve worked on the trip. Reading, planning, shopping, dreaming, listening to Edith Piaf. I leave with 16 year old granddaughter in tow in six weeks. Yes, I am a little afraid. But doing something we are afraid of is good for us. Anyway, I haven’t had the blues in a while. Reading the book **Revolution from Within** and returning to it when needed helped me with self-esteem issues. Who would have thought that Gloria Steinem ever had esteem issues. I think it was after reading that book that I declared a truce with myself. I used to carry a list of things that I liked about myself. That helped. I don’t even need that anymore. One sentence stood out for me in your post: > [@](#): > > I know it won’t be up to their standards (it never is), but I’ll keep trying. It will _never_ be up to their standards inside your head at least. May I suggest a _great_ substitution? Decide what _your_ standards are. Live up to them most of the time. Face the very real possibility that you may never have your parents’ approval. I am projecting like crazy, but problems in continuing to desire parental approval were my biggest stumbling block to developing self-esteem. ---
**Author:** ![odd-socks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@odd-socks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/odd-socks)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706/25 "2004-03-02T10:52:12Z")
> [@j66](#): > > I was giving advice for physiological depression, which seems to be ArrMatety!'s problem. well, to be fair we don’t know what sort of depression **ArrMatey** has; there are different types? For exmaple, someone suffering from S.A.D, or perhaps chemical inbalance may benefit from a specific course of treatment: someone who has reactive depression may need something else. I have reactive depression (ahh, these labels! heh) and do not take drugs for it, but that’s my choice. I guess it’s like fingerprints? We all have a set, but they are each uniquely different. > [@](#): > > Odd-socks: we depressives are so gentle with one another, aren’t we? heh. Steel hand in a velvet glove 😉 just kiddin’… online communication can be hard and people get offended, upset, irate over nothing at all, so best to clarify I think? This is a good resource for anyone who might need it: [http://open-mind.org/SP/Articles/8c2.htm](http://open-mind.org/SP/Articles/8c2.htm) **Zoe’s** idea of a trip sounds like a fine plan. You’ll have to send us a virtual postcard 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/esteem-issues-what-to-do/231706.md?page=1)