# Estimated Time Until Our Asses Get Kicked Out **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2011, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831 "2011-06-17T14:04:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/21 "2011-06-17T15:10:52Z")
Depending on the club (which should always be a disclaimer in any strip club discussion), you might get assaulted by the girls (and not in a good way). Once in my youth, I accumulated a bunch of $2 bills. It thought it would be a great idea to take them to a strip club and tip the dancers with them. What could go wrong? I’d be paying them double their normal tips. I thought that they’d love me and shower me with double the affection. Let’s just say it was a real bad idea. I was basically attacked and had to have the bouncers protect me and push me out. They apparently thought that the bills were counterfeit. The bouncer’s exact quote after I explained myself: “Listen dipshit. These dumb bitches ain’t never seen no two dollar bill! Come back with singles.” ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/22 "2011-06-17T15:28:46Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, is there a rule that you _have_ to tip after a dance? If not, then you’re already ahead of the game by giving her something rather than nothing. The custom at the strip clubs I’ve been to is that you present the tip in order to get the attention of the dancer. She will then dance in front of you and may honor specific requests. You must give her the tip. You usually give it to her when she starts performing for you rather than waiting until she walks away. She will make sure that you give it to her. Dancers may also approach you if you are not displaying a tip and may try to coax you into giving one. You are not obligated to tip in that circumstance, but you should not sit at the rail if you are not going to be tipping. In any case, tips are in the form of cash or scrip provided by the club. ---
**Author:** ![pakalolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@pakalolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pakalolo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/23 "2011-06-17T15:30:29Z")
Bad idea. It would not be hilarious to anyone else, you would look like a foolish jerk, and no one will be looking around for the hidden candid camera. Depends on the club regarding how long it it would take to get thrown out, you might just get a lecture from the bouncer, but you may be ostracized afterward (the girls do gossip about the patrons) and decide to leave on your own pretty quickly. > [@](#): > > Ordinarily, when you tip a stripper, you position yourself by the stage with your cash visible. When the stripper approaches, you then give her the tip in whatever manner you can get away with is appropriate for the venue. I rather suspect that, if the girls can tell you’re holding something other than cash, they won’t even approach you except maybe to chew you out. This, exactly. Strip clubs are most awesome when attended with the goal of just having fun with your friends. No need to muck it up with lame “pranks”. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/24 "2011-06-17T15:39:26Z")
Slight hijack, but there is no “ordinarily” when it comes to tipping at strip clubs. The convention of tipping varies. NY is different then NJ. In NJ, it really depends on the type of club and county. But having attended these types of establishments in NJ, NY, Houston, Miami, Tampa, Vegas, Toronto and more, I find that you need to follow the “When in Rome” approach. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/25 "2011-06-17T15:40:26Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > The custom at the strip clubs I’ve been to is that you present the tip in order to get the attention of the dancer. She will then dance in front of you and may honor specific requests. You must give her the tip. You usually give it to her when she starts performing for you rather than waiting until she walks away. She will make sure that you give it to her. > > Dancers may also approach you if you are not displaying a tip and may try to coax you into giving one. You are not obligated to tip in that circumstance, but you should not sit at the rail if you are not going to be tipping. In any case, tips are in the form of cash or scrip provided by the club. What if you wave money and then give her the check in addition to it? ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/26 "2011-06-17T15:43:03Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > What if you wave money and then give her the check in addition to it? Who knows? It’s not done. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/27 "2011-06-17T15:43:52Z")
I’ve never heard of two dollar bills. Also, most shops around here don’t take cheques any more. Just yesterday saw a sign of the “no longer accept cheques” variety. Perhaps if you were to ask “do you take cheques” first. I’m sure I’ve seen that done in comedy TV programmes. Funny idea, but the fun is very much in the idea rather than any unwise attempt to act it out. ---
**Author:** ![retterath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@retterath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/retterath)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/28 "2011-06-17T16:04:50Z")
I don’t know about checks, but I know silver dollars were hit and miss. Some gals were excited, “Ooh, Treasure for my son!” And some were not at all impressed. Most can appreciate a big Hershey bar though. As long as there’s a single laying there too. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/29 "2011-06-17T16:32:07Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Then someone wondered aloud if anyone ever slipped a check in a g-string at a strip club, which inspired me to riff. Slipping a cheque next to the sweaty skin of a person is not a good idea. The paper cheques are printed on is not very durable. You are far better of with cash, which can survive a wash cycle. Cheques do not survive the wash. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/30 "2011-06-17T16:35:35Z")
You might get a slightly better response if they are cashier’s checks rather than personal checks, since the former are guaranteed not to bounce (as long as they’re not fraudulent, obviously). ---
**Author:** ![pakalolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@pakalolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pakalolo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/31 "2011-06-17T18:25:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Funny idea, but the fun is very much in the idea rather than any unwise attempt to act it out. I still maintain that this idea is in no way amusing, not funny in theory, not funny in execution. Extremely un-chill. ---
**Author:** ![pakalolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@pakalolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pakalolo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/32 "2011-06-17T18:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Once in my youth, I accumulated a bunch of $2 bills. It thought it would be a great idea to take them to a strip club and tip the dancers with them. What could go wrong? I’d be paying them double their normal tips. I thought that they’d love me and shower me with double the affection. > > Let’s just say it was a real bad idea. I was basically attacked and had to have the bouncers protect me and push me out. They apparently thought that the bills were counterfeit. The bouncer’s exact quote after I explained myself: “Listen dipshit. These dumb bitches ain’t never seen no two dollar bill! Come back with singles.” Yikes…I’m not sure I would want to go to a(n american) club that had girls who didn’t even know of the existence of a 2 dollar bill. Seems like it would be kinda janky and gross. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/33 "2011-06-17T18:45:30Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > Once in my youth, I accumulated a bunch of $2 bills. It thought it would be a great idea to take them to a strip club and tip the dancers with them. > … > Let’s just say it was a real bad idea. That was a long time ago. Strip clubs are now, bar none, the businesses _most_ familiar with two-dollar bills. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/34 "2011-06-17T19:09:00Z")
But people, aren’t you understanding the humor here? They’re STRIPPERS! Not real human beings with feelings and emotions. Get it??? * * * And why am I not surprised the OP’s “riff” killed\* at a comic book store where most patrons have never even seen a naked breast that wasn’t made out of pixels. \*And it must have in order for the OP to run here to share his hilarious idea of a joke ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/35 "2011-06-17T19:10:41Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > Have you ever been in a bar? There aren’t many, if any, that take checks. Neither do strippers. Wow, you’re dangerously close to actually getting the point of the joke. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/36 "2011-06-17T19:11:48Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Strip club owners and workers never tire of juvenile frat boy antics, I’m sure you’ll be met, all around, with nothing but smiles and chuckles. Funny guys are always a big hit in such joints. > > I can already hear you whining, ‘It’s just a joke, man, where’s your sense of humour?’, as you’re being unceremoniously tossed from the building. > > Unless you’re 19yrs old you need to grow up. It’s not an easy life being a stripper, jerking them around for your own amusement is a scummy thing to do, no matter how you dress it up. > > If you’re that drawn to shock value only antics just pull your wang out randomly. All the shock value and attention you crave - with the advantage of actually being amusing to your audience. There will be laughter! And that’s what you want, right? Basic literacy failure. 1.) Not planning to actually do this. 2.) Well aware it would get someone kicked out. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/37 "2011-06-17T19:15:42Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > Funny idea, but the fun is very much in the idea rather than any unwise attempt to act it out. Exactly. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/38 "2011-06-17T19:19:56Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > But people, aren’t you understanding the humor here? They’re STRIPPERS! Not real human beings with feelings and emotions. Get it??? > > * * * > > And why am I not surprised the OP’s “riff” killed\* at a comic book store where most patrons have never even seen a naked breast that wasn’t made out of pixels. > > \*And it must have in order for the OP to run here to share his hilarious idea of a joke Dude, you should be running a comic store, because you’ve clearly got issues. I in no way disparage or denigrate sex industry professionals, be they porn stars, strippers, or whatever. The only reason the specific hypothetical involves strippers is because that was the topic under discussion, vis a vis the friend’s 21st birthday. Like I said upthread, same kind of humor works with paying for drinks at a bar. Outside of those two places, though, where else do you do continuous small transactions that would allow for the sustained joke? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/39 "2011-06-17T19:53:54Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Dude, you should be running a comic store, because you’ve clearly got issues. I in no way disparage or denigrate sex industry professionals, be they porn stars, strippers, or whatever. The only reason the specific hypothetical involves strippers is because that was the topic under discussion, vis a vis the friend’s 21st birthday. Like I said upthread, same kind of humor works with paying for drinks at a bar. Outside of those two places, though, where else do you do continuous small transactions that would allow for the sustained joke? Comic book stores. Edited to add: OP, you may be confusing me w/ someone else up thread. This is my first post on the matter… Hardly showing me to have “issues.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831/40 "2011-06-17T20:00:50Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > And why am I not surprised the OP’s “riff” killed\* at a comic book store where most patrons have never even seen a naked breast that wasn’t made out of pixels. > > \*And it must have in order for the OP to run here to share his hilarious idea of a joke Eh, I thought it was funny and I’m in possession of two boobs, not made of pixels. I didn’t see it as a “Strippers aren’t people” joke but rather as a using a check in a weird place joke. Plus considering how loathe many people are to use cash these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if stripper crotch/bum cheeks eventually doubled as credit card machines as **tdn** mentioned… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/estimated-time-until-our-asses-get-kicked-out/585831.md?page=3)