# Eternal Reef Balls! THIS is what I want done with my body when I die! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 22, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012 "2008-11-22T18:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/1 "2008-11-22T18:16:24Z")
I probably spend more time agonizing over what I want done with my body when I die than I should. I don’t like the idea of being buried, for any number of reasons, not the least of which is that it’s a waste of land space. I also wasn’t wild about the idea of being burned into ashes – the thought of being lit on fire is really scary to me. But even though it’s the more environmentally friendly solution, _then_ what is done with me? Add to that, that my husband’s wish is to be cremated. Burning _him_ is even more horrifying to me! I can’t imagine keeping his ashes in an urn in my house as a reminder that the man I love is now nothing but burnt up ashes. ☹ And if I put him in a cemetery somewhere, either I won’t be able to visit him, or his family won’t, since we live on different sides of the pond. Well the other night I found my ideal solution! [Eternal reef balls](http://www.eternalreefs.com/index.html)! I wouldn’t mind being burned if I was actually being _recycled_ into something useful. I could become a part of nature, making a positive contribution to our deteriorating reefs and restoring our fragile ecosystem. How cool is that?!! [Look what I could be](http://www.eternalreefs.com/images/ph_Under_4.jpg)! **Spiny Norman** initially likes the idea, as well, so I hope he’ll fully come on board. If he agrees, then I want whichever of us that goes first to have their ashes kept someplace safe until the other one’s time comes. Then I want our ashes mixed and put into one Reef Ball, so we can spend eternity intertwined and contributing to the planet. All I can say is that they better still be in business in 50-60 years! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/2 "2008-11-22T18:23:01Z")
Typical pseudo-environmentalist BS. Sure, one or two reefballs has no measurable impact, but aggregately these new reefs will raise the sea level and flood coastal cities! All for vanity. People. ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/3 "2008-11-22T19:18:49Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Typical pseudo-environmentalist BS. Sure, one or two reefballs has no measurable impact, but aggregately these new reefs will raise the sea level and flood coastal cities! All for vanity. > > People. Eh, are you serious? **Shayna** , if it wasn’t for my abiding fear of deep water I’d be right with ya. Not that I’d be afraid post-mortem, I suppose. How do people visit you, though? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/4 "2008-11-22T19:40:03Z")
Am I serious? Are you serious? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/5 "2008-11-22T20:01:14Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Am I serious? > > Are you serious? > > 😃 Inconceivable! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/6 "2008-11-22T20:09:31Z")
I have two utterly pointless comments to make. First: I read the thread title as “Eternal **Beef** Balls! THIS is what I want done with my body when I die!” And I was wondering how the devil one could get beef balls out of long pork? And why would anyone want to? Second: I’ve got it all planned. When I die, I’m going to have my pelt preserved as a bear skin rug to haunt my sister’s house. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/7 "2008-11-22T20:14:40Z")
That’s a really neat idea! ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/8 "2008-11-22T20:32:53Z")
I, too, spend too much time thinking about what will happen to my remains when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I found a different solution, though. [I’m going to be made into diamonds.](http://www.lifegems.com) I’ve told my husband that I want him to use the diamonds to make a wedding ring for his second wife. I, personally, find this hilarious. For some reason, he doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/9 "2008-11-22T20:37:41Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > I, too, spend too much time thinking about what will happen to my remains when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I found a different solution, though. [I’m going to be made into diamonds.](http://www.lifegems.com) I’ve told my husband that I want him to use the diamonds to make a wedding ring for his second wife. I, personally, find this hilarious. For some reason, he doesn’t. I saw this a while back and so far it’s still what I would like to do in place of a burial. I’ll be passed down from generation to generation! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/10 "2008-11-22T21:19:20Z")
Id rather they just throw me overboard and give the crabs dinner. Why do they always have to cremate first for these alternatives? If they do it over the Mariannas trench in the middle of the ocean, it’s not like I’ll wash up on shore anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Walpurgis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Walpurgis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walpurgis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/11 "2008-11-22T21:39:45Z")
I want to have the process where you get freeze-dried into a small pile of biological matter, put into a cardboard box and they plant a tree sapling on top. I think I’d like to be an apple tree. With the added bonus of bearing… special fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/12 "2008-11-22T22:37:32Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Id rather they just throw me overboard and give the crabs dinner. Why do they always have to cremate first for these alternatives? If they do it over the Mariannas trench in the middle of the ocean, it’s not like I’ll wash up on shore anywhere. You might. Once. But only for 20 minutes. [sub]Dammit, someone had to say it…[/sub] I want to be burned on a pyre with all my wordly goods. I believe the fine for improperly disposing of a body is less than what a traditional funeral costs, and my family can tap a keg and roast weenies and have a fun wake. Alternately, I told my son to have me cremated and take me on a road trip, stopping at truck stops across the country to leave a spoonful of me in every salt shaker. To make up for those years I worked in a truck stop and had to stop myself from snapping, “Eat me!” at rude and hateful truckers a dozen times a day. We probably won’t do this, though, 'cause it’s really gross and mean to the nice truckers. But sometimes it’s nice to fantasize. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/13 "2008-11-22T22:59:36Z")
personally, I want my ashes lifted in to low orbit, then stragecally released to make a meteort shower over a night time wake attended by my friends… It can be done for just 500 tons of carbon added to the atmospere… but what do I care… I will be dead… regards FML ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/14 "2008-11-22T23:22:30Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > I, too, spend too much time thinking about what will happen to my remains when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I found a different solution, though. [I’m going to be made into diamonds.](http://www.lifegems.com) I’ve told my husband that I want him to use the diamonds to make a wedding ring for his second wife. I, personally, find this hilarious. For some reason, he doesn’t. What if you got lost in a drawer or down the sink? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/15 "2008-11-22T23:32:32Z")
> [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](#): > > Eh, are you serious? > > **Shayna** , if it wasn’t for my abiding fear of deep water I’d be right with ya. Not that I’d be afraid post-mortem, I suppose. How do people visit you, though? Having had to be rescued from nearly drowning in an undertow that had taken the life of someone the week before (though they didn’t tell me until _after_ I’d been dragged up on shore), I, too, have an abiding fear of deep water. BUT. . . I love fish and fish tanks (we have 2) and ocean life and the environment. And since I won’t have to actually _breathe_ when I’m down there, I figure I’ll be like a mermaid – able to live fully under water and be a part of that world. Seriously, how cool would that be? As for how people visit you: > [@](#): > > From their [FAQs](http://www.eternalreefs.com/about/faq.html): > > **Q) Can I visit the location of the Memorial Reef?** > A) Yes, we provide the families with the exact GPS coordinates so they can visit the reef site whenever they wish. You can visit by boat to fish or dive on the Memorial Reef. So someone could take a lovely boat ride and scatter some flowers or fish food over your “burial” site, or, if they’re skilled, dive down and visit you. I’d much rather someone get a nice cruise out to a beautiful place in the ocean to come “visit” me, maybe have a margarita with their feet up on the rail, than driving out to a morbid cemetery filled with creepy dead bodies everywhere. ::shudder:: The apple tree idea is hilarious. And **pepperlandgirl** , as always, you are an evil genius, woman! 😃 And while that, too, is an ultra cool idea, it doesn’t utilize 100% of your remains, so you could have your carbon extracted from your ash and made into a diamond, and have the rest of you mixed into a reef ball!! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/16 "2008-11-23T00:26:35Z")
I give you [Compacted Dignity](http://www.compacteddignity.com/index.htm), a contradiction in terms if ever there was one. > [@](#): > > It is now possible, with the help of our patented compaction, treatement and preservation process as well as our custom built 400 ton, two stage, four column hydraulic press to reduce the compress the physical remains of the deceased to a compact, solid shape of your choosing, which accompanied by a custom pedestal makes a wonderful mantle piece for daily remembrance. A solid shape of my choosing. Hmm. I wonder what [options](http://www.compacteddignity.com/our_monuments.htm) are on offer. > [@](#): > > We here at Compacted Dignity are always working to offer more alternatives to satisfy any taste and budget. For those customers who want to be remembered as they were in life, we can now reduce them to a actual size, accurate representation of them as they lived as shown above. This process is quite involved but as you can see, the final product is well worth it. It’s OK, I guess. Now, where to put me. I’ve considered all the possible venues and decided to have my head glued to a piece of wood behind the bar at my local pub. Then, all those people who have failed to return my largesse in buying various rounds of drinks over the years will feel seriously and justifiably embarrassed whenever they go in there. My only reservation is that I’m reluctant to make myself posthumously available to a company that shows such disdain for correct grammar and spelling. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/17 "2008-11-23T01:00:36Z")
:eek::eek::eek: Good lord, that’s the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. And I used to work in a truck stop gift shop. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/18 "2008-11-23T01:00:52Z")
> [@Walpurgis](#): > > I want to have the process where you get freeze-dried into a small pile of biological matter, put into a cardboard box and they plant a tree sapling on top. I think I’d like to be an apple tree. With the added bonus of bearing… special fruit. Have you been reading up on the so-called “Mike” apples from Eastern Connecticutt of a few years ago? ([Link](http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=1&res=9400E2DB163EEF33A25754C2A96E9C94629ED7CF) goes to a .pdf - it’s the fourth story down.) ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/19 "2008-11-23T01:01:07Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#): > > I give you [Compacted Dignity](http://www.compacteddignity.com/index.htm), a contradiction in terms if ever there was one. This site is a spoof, right? No business would publish something with such atrocious spelling and grammar, right? Right? ---
**Author:** ![Jaglavak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jaglavak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaglavak)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012/20 "2008-11-23T01:08:17Z")
I’ll be up there next to Chez. Except I’ll be hollow so they can use me as a tip jar. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eternal-reef-balls-this-is-what-i-want-done-with-my-body-when-i-die/474012.md?page=2)