Whose?
I think I’d like to be a target at a local shooting range.
“I’m gonna wear you onna ring
Around my neck …”
I kinda liked this idea I heard from a standup comedian many years ago:
“I plan to be cremated when I die. But don’t spread my ashes out to sea or anything like that. Just roll me up in a joint and let my friends smoke me at the party.”
[makes toking motions and sounds]
“WHOA … why are we all talking like him, man?”
I think I’ll be cremated, but the Eternal Reef Balls does song kind of interesting*. I don’t know what my husband plans on doing with my ashes, but I have jokingly suggested that he bury them behind the goal at Pizza Hut Park.
*I’m not sure I could do it because I have a major fear of drowning (and also of choking to death). Just the thought of being underwater, even though I’ll be dead, makes me queasy.
Sorry, I was a bit of a pedant, too much time on my hands at the time I guess.
I’m donating my body to Scientology
“Chopped into odd sized chunks, placed in zip lock bags, and sent to addresses chosen randomly from random metropolitan phone books.”
“Odd sized chunks?” That’s criz-azy! If it were normally sized chunks I could understand, but odd sized?
I want my body donated to science after I die. People don’t find me anywhere near as interesting as I think they should in life, being studied after I die gives me the world one last chance to be fascinated by me.
For what it’s worth, that’s exactly what I thought of on reading the page, too.
Myself, I’d also like to donate my entire body to science-- The ideal, I think, would be to be one of those corpses they cut into centimeter-thick layers and show at science musea, but more realistically, I’d end up teaching some med student anatomy, and that’s OK, too. For me, the motivation is that I’ve devoted myself in life to furthering science, so why not in death, too?
I can’t decide what I want to happen to my corpse, so can I donate myself to United Way? They can allocate the divisions according to their formula.
I want someone to smuggle my ashes into a Cheetoh factory and dump me into a batch of future crunchy goodness, after which I will stick to strangers fingers for days.
I once saw a ceramic sculpture of a dropped ice cream cone and I thought "Wow! If I could get my ashes mixed into something like that. . . "
I’m sure someone, somewhere could do it. The dropped ice cream cone (it was soft serve, btw) just seems like a perfect metaphor for the transience of life.
I’m sorry, but the term “Watery Grave” springs to mind and it’s never been presented in a pleasant way that I’ve ever seen in text or cinema. Sounds cold and lonely.
Of course…fire is too hot. Coffin’s are too claustrophobic. I sometimes entertain being buried in nothing more than dirt so that the worms can bring me back to a more natural state but the thought of those little buggers burrowing into me gives me the heebie jeebies something fierce.
I think I’d opt for a tomb. A big tomb that I can get up and stretch and walk around in just in case all those old horror stories have a grain of truth to them.
I’m thinking heated to about 900 ˚C at about 3000 PSI with excess hydrogen should turn me into ammonia for fertilizer, gas for fuel, water and some rocks. My numbers may be off, but you get the idea.
Some posts in November, a single December post (fittingly, by Walker in Eternity), then in February it reanimates and rises from the deeps, determined to drag us down to the bottom of the sea.
It is the return of the Zombie Reef Ball Thread.
Meh, November is still warm. I never look at the OP date anyway. On the otherhand, zombie is the ultimate “what I want done with my body when I die” plan. It’s just not technologically feasible. I suppose I could have my body preserved until some form of undeadness is discovered, but really, what is the cheapest way to store your body for reanimation?
Forget burning or burial… too wasteful. I want to be composted. Let science have its way with my remains, then plant a tree on me too.
I want to be vaporized in an above ground nuclear test by France. That way, a little bit of me will make it’s way into each and every one of you.
I can’t believe no one has said this yet. How about fed to a family of hungry cannibals. Remember, with your donation of only a few pounds of flesh a day, you can feed this starving family for weeks!
The resurrection came through the power of Threadspotting.
I’ve always wanted to have my skeleton parts attached and made into a sort of grisly marionette to be manipulated by a sort of animatronic jukebox. The idea of my corpse dancing away as I decompose has always tickled my sense of gruesome whimsy.
No way I could have it done, of course.
Or is there…