# ethics of dating 2 women at once **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 30, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156 "2013-04-30T23:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/41 "2015-02-12T07:12:24Z")
I think it’s the right approach to arrange lots of dates and have the best possible chance of meeting Mr / Miss Right. Nevertheless, the situation is not as easy as some people are suggesting in this thread. The more dates you have with someone, the more hurt they will be when you say you can’t see them any more. Simples. It doesn’t matter that you’ve not so much as kissed yet. (Unless of course everyone is willing to be in an open relationship. Good luck setting that up) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/42 "2015-02-12T08:15:10Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Dammit. Why do I never look at dates? Not even with two women at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/43 "2015-02-12T14:47:20Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Dammit. Why do I never look at dates? Figs and prunes are also beneficial. And here’s another vote for the OP to let us know how it all turned out a year or two ago. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/44 "2015-02-12T15:15:41Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > I think this is exactly right. > > Enjoy it. Dating two women at the same time is probably the best situation to be in; any more and they get too hard to juggle, but with two you can approach dates with just the right amount of aloofness because you know you’ve got another one in the bullpen. Yep. It only gets awkward when they show up at the same time to visit with you in the hospital after your hernia operation. ---
**Author:** ![Mortgage\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mortgage\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mortgage_Lady)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/45 "2015-02-12T16:00:18Z")
MOST IMPORTANTLY: Tell them you are dating other people. Nothing worse than finding out a guy was hiding that…and also, dont have sex with both in the same day. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/46 "2015-02-12T17:26:15Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Dammit. Why do I never look at dates? “When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That’s the price she has to pay.” -Otis B. Driftwood ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/47 "2015-02-12T18:30:51Z")
Create an imaginary twin brother and have “Claude” date this other woman. If that’s the one you eventually fall for, maintain lie for rest of life. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/48 "2015-02-12T20:45:14Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Figs and prunes are also beneficial. > > And here’s another vote for the OP to let us know how it all turned out a year or two ago. I’m embarassed people care about my non-existent social life. Girl 1 liked me, but talking to her made me feel like I was talking to a brick wall. So I broke it off with her. Girl 2 gave off some red flags, so I withdrew a bit. She found someone else to date and I was fine with that because of the red flags. The women never found out about each other, but none of them asked if we were exclusive. Don’t ask, don’t tell. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/49 "2015-02-12T22:56:49Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Create an imaginary twin brother and have “Claude” date this other woman. If that’s the one you eventually fall for, maintain lie for rest of life. I think it’s “Bunbury”. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/50 "2015-02-12T23:04:45Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’m embarassed people care about my non-existent social life. We’ve got to live vicariously through someone, and the pickings are kinda slim around here. ETA: Took a second, Hector, but I got the reference. ---
**Author:** ![hopeok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@hopeok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hopeok)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/51 "2015-02-19T14:19:21Z")
Good to hear everyone was okay as the way it was… For myself, I couldn’t do it, meanwhile I kept going out, met nice people. They were all posotive. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156/52 "2015-02-19T16:50:14Z")
I haven’t read this entire thread yet, but I wonder: Is there something wrong with being open and honest and up front? Or can you not handle the idea that either of the women you’re dating might also wish to date other men? See, when a guy is straight up with me with regard to commitment, right from the get-go, I really appreciate that. If it gets serious with anyone, then it’s time to gently let the others go, but in the meantime, if it’s all just casual, having fun dating, then I don’t see anything wrong with it. What I do see wrong is lying and being deceptive. Perhaps these women are only dating one person at a time because they think the expectation is fidelty, even in a very casual dating situation. I make it clear when I am dating more than one person. If you can’t handle that, great, you’re off the list; I’m plenty busy either way. The only caution I have is you owe it to both of them and to yourself to be safe if you’re having sex with anyone. Wrap it up, it’s only fair! Do not be an STD disease vector. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ethics-of-dating-2-women-at-once/657156.md?page=2)