I’m too lazy to abuse ethnic foods on my own, so I let others do it for me.
Hence my addiction to tacos from Jack in the Box.
Then I probably shouldn’t tell you about the scones I’ve made.
Daniel
For a big scary pile of Ethnic Food Abuse, I give you:
If you don’t want to horrify yourself by clicking the link, it’s “nachos” made with Indian naan, topped with some sort of hummus-like mash and a salsa made with cucumbers and other Indian spices. I watched Rachel Ray make this on 30-Minute Meals, and almost died laughing.
It might in fact be rather tasty, I don’t know; but the idea of fusing Indian food with nachos just cracks me up.
Glassy, that’s a crazy recipe, but you know what? It just…might…work.
My mother’s recipe: bacon, tomato juice and elbow macaroni. No, we are not Hungarian.
I keep threatening to make the genuine article some day. Anyone have a good, authentic, recipe?
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Make biscuits and gravy as normal. Serve by splitting biscuit, and on each half place butter, then jelly. Top with gravy.[/FONT]
Take care,
GES
[/QUOTE]
Is your Mom from ther South? Apparently down here folks eat sausage and biscuits with grape jelly to the point the people I work with are amazed that I don’t. I was born and raised in the south but I don’t eat jelly on sausage of course I drink unsweetened iced tea too.
Do Tex-Mex pierogies count?
As a half-pinay, let me assure you that there are many redeeming dishes to the Filipino cuisine. Besides the balut and bagoong (an odorous condiment which is basically a paste of brine shrimp), there are a number of flavorful stews, lechon which is whole roasted pig with incredibly juicy meat (mostly for special occasions only), great soups, fish prepared in interesting ways, empanadas, lumpia (egg rolls) and a whole slew of simple but tasty desserts.
But yeah - there’s some nasty shizz too. Often has my mother frightened me with her accounts of “chocolate meat”: blood cooked to resemble Hershey’s syrup and served over offal.
I, of course, may be mis remembering the sugar. It could be it was the start of the problem, and just escalated.
She never served lutefisk, but she had a great cartoon about it on her refridgerator:
First panel. Woman with shovel talking to her husband.
Woman: Lutefisk is a traditional Norwegian dish consisting of a fish buried in the ground for seven years, then dug up and served.
Second panel
Woman: Today, those seven years are up. Dinner’s in an hour.
Third panel. Dispondant husband in the bar, talking to a buddy.
Buddy: What did your wife give you for dinner?
Husband: An hour’s head start.
Nope, Denver then LA.
This is what I was trying to get at in the OP. I think ethnic food abuse is those dishes, that if you tried to serve as authentic that at best, would get you laughed at by natives (tarred and feathered if it’s really bad). Not, say, an argument whether on not it should be shallots vs. onions. A dish may have a hundred different ways to make it, but if you made it your way, you’d have a 100 people laughing at you.
GES
What we know as Hungarian goulash is known as “porkolt” (with an umlaut over both "o"s. I’m too lazy to look up the alt-codes to make this happen). Gulyas (with an acute accent over the “a”) in native Hungary refers to a much soupier dish, more commonly known as gulyasleves (“goulash soup”) over there.
Hungarian cuisine often starts with its own holy trinity of ingredients: lard (or vegetable oil. I much prefer lard), onions, and paprika. Please use only good quality Hungarian paprika or Spanish paprika. Do not use that McCormick’s crap. It’s a big difference. Trust me. The Pride of Szeged brand that seems to be ubiquitous in the States will do just fine. Use the sweet and not the hot (or make a blend of the two.)
Generally, you start out by sauteeing the onions in fat until translucent. At this point, take the pan off the heat, add the paprika, and let it dissolve and cook into the oil, about 1 minute. The purpose for taking the pan off the heat is to keep the paprika from burning. It has a high sugar content and could burn easily. If you’re careful, you can do it on the heat, but to be safe, just take the pan off. If you want to brown your meat, do it after adding the onion, but before you put in the paprika. You can also add a chopped bell pepper with the meat, and a tomato cut into eighths after you dissolve the paprika (I skip on the tomato). Add some salt, and let it simmer in its own juices. If you don’t have enough gravy, add a little water.
Here’s a recipe from Culinaria Hungary, the best Hungarian cookbook I’ve found (and I’ve lived there for over five years, so you can trust my word):
[quote]
Sertesporkolt (pork goulash)
1 3/4 lb pork (leg or shoulder…Boston butt would be a fine cut)
1 large onion
2-3 bell peppers
1 large tomato
4 tbsp oil
1/2 tsp ground paprika
salt
1 bell pepper for garnishing
Cut the meat into 3/4 inch cubes. Finely chop the onion. Seed and chop the bell peppers [Hungarians do no use American style bell peppers–called California peppers out there. The use something that looks like a Hungarian wax pepper, but without any heat. If you can find something similar at your grocer, use that. Otherwise, green bell peppers will do. Red are too sweet]. Cut the tomato into 8 pices. Saute the onion in the oil [like I said, lard is a bit more traditional, and a lot more flavorful.] and remove from the heat. Add the peppers and the meat. Return to the heat and cook for a few minutes, stirring continuously. Season with salt, then add the paprika [you can use a little more, but don’t go crazy. 1 tsp MAX]and pieces of tomato [optional, in my opinion.] Cover, and leave to cook in its own juices.
Replace any of the juices that evaporate with a little warm water if necessary…Serve with dumplings or pasta pellets, a fresh salad, or preserved vegetables.
[quote]
Cook it over low heat, and it should take anywhere from an hour or two to stew. You can easily substitute beef for the pork, just use any good stewing cut. You can also use veal. If you do that, sautee the onions and peppers, add the paprika and a couple tablespoons of water, and stir. Then add the cubed veal (don’t brown the veal), cover and let it stew. Add the end of cooking time, add about 1 1/2 cups of sour cream with 2 tablespoons of flour stirred in. Cook for a few minutes. If the sauce is too thick, thin it out by adding water. You now have veal paprikash (paprikash is essentially porkolt with sour cream added to it.) Chicken also works with the basic goulash recipe.
The ultimate ethnic food abuse
I just thought of this-
I call it the Abomination of Desolation-
Ham & Cheese on Passover-kosher Matzoh bread.
ONLY FOR THE GOYIM!!!
New England’s ethnic foods are basically an abuse of other ethnic foods:
New England Southern fried chicken is chicken fried in oil. No breading, no spices, just chicken.
New England Chop Suey is macaroni, ground beef, and tomato sauce.
New England Irish traditional corned-beef-and-cabbage also uses beets, so ithe leftovers can be chopped up and fried to make red flannel hash.
I went to a restaurant near my house and ordered jambalaya . It was white rice, covered with a sauce made of campbells tomato soup a bit of celery, and a tiny bit of onion. On top of this were a few steamed shrimp, nicely arranged.
Egads, lee! I think you win.
Alas, the only prize is pity…
Did you hear about the guy who took LSD mixed with lutefisk? He had a bad trip to Oslo.
Just to add something that’s not a joke:
Cheffie’s Hamburger Gravy
1/2 pound 90% lean ground beef
olive oil
1/2 large onion, chopped
salt & pepper
1-2 TBSP dried sage
2-3 TBSP flour
1/2 cup 1/2&1/2
1 cup skim milk, more or less
2-3 TBSP butter, cut into small cubes
Brown the burger and onions in the oil on med-high. Add salt and pepper and sage. Sprinkle the flour over the meat mixture. Stir and brown the floured meat slightly. Add all the milk at once, stirring. Let come to a boil and thicken. When at about desired consistency, stir in the butter chunks. Serve over biscuits or toast or rice or macaroni or just drink it out of the pan. If the gravy gets too thick, add a little more milk. You can substitute sausage for the burger, but will need to drain off the excess fat.
I did win, it inspired me to go home and make up this recipe. For all I know this should count as ethnic food abuse, but it tasted right to m.
Lee’s Jambalaya
5 slices thick cut hickory smoked bacon cut into ½ inch pieces
Boneless skinless chicken breasts thawed and sliced.
3 small onions or 2 medium onions cut into ¼ inch rings
1 large stalk celery, chopped
1 habaneras pepper
2 cups or one can chicken broth or stock
1 can tomatoes, diced.
1 can mushrooms, drain and reserve liquid. Or 5 large fresh mushrooms.
3 tablespoon flour
1 teaspoon celery salt
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Tabasco sauce
butter
chili oil
3 large cloves garlic
1 cup rice, cooked
Cook bacon over medium heat until nearly crisp, separating the pieces as it cooks. Lift out bacon and set aside in a bowl when it is cooked and add the onions, celery, and the finely chopped habaneras pepper.
Cook onions in bacon grease until clear and some turning a bit brown. Put the nicest looking rings in with the bacon.
In a medium sauce pan add tomatoes, half the chicken broth, the rest of the onions and celery, the basil, oregano, Tabasco sauce, and a clove of the garlic minced, and the reserved liquid from the mushrooms. Simmer.
Add the rest of the garlic, the mushrooms, the black pepper, some red pepper, Worcestershire sauce. Brown a few of the slices of the chicken. When the mushrooms are sautéed, add them to the simmering tomato mixture.
Brown the rest of the chicken, adding butter and chili oil if the bacon grease is used up. Add the flour and let cook for a few minutes, stirring constantly. Add the remaining chicken broth to the chicken. Allow to simmer for a bit. Add red pepper and Worcestershire sauce to taste. Add tomato mixture to the frying pan and let that cook for a bit.
When done place in bowl and top with bacon and onions. Serve with rice.
Pork on a bagel. That’s just wrong!
Robin