# Etiquette for a threesome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 19, 2007, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756 "2007-04-19T06:01:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/21 "2007-04-20T02:10:41Z")
Excuse me, is this hole taken? ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/22 "2007-04-20T02:13:33Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] Og, no! No updates!!! Please! Why thresh old straw, or beat an old bag of bones? I’ve got enough disturbed, dysfunctional people who won’t stop talking about it in my professional life. [/QUOTE] Sorry, I’ll try to catch up on more Jerry Springer Show updates instead. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/23 "2007-04-20T02:19:50Z")
Crap, I forgot to add a “u” to your name for comical, yet annoying, jest. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/24 "2007-04-20T03:01:00Z")
Oldest person present gets to lead. “Age before beauty.” ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/25 "2007-04-20T03:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Oldest person present gets to lead. “Age before beauty.” [/QUOTE] No, no. “Age before beauty” means the young, good looking person gets to do the old person from behind. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/26 "2007-04-20T03:21:27Z")
Just remember…incoming has the right-of-way. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/27 "2007-04-20T03:47:20Z")
This tip is mainly for men. If we’re talking about a heterosexual couple and another female is joining in, just remember: _It’s all about the female partner in the couple._ She’s gotta be happy and/or the center of attention (most of the time). ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/28 "2007-04-20T03:51:03Z")
[QUOTE=Comrade Friendly] Or _menage a troi_ if you prefer. [/QUOTE] That would be sex with a Starfleet officer. I think you’re referring to a menage a trois. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Comrade\_Friendly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@Comrade\_Friendly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Comrade_Friendly)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/29 "2007-04-20T06:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] Are you talking about 2 guys and a girl? Cause if that’s the case I can’t help out. If it’s 3 guys I’d have some advice. [/QUOTE] That was actually more my line of thinking. [QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Side note: not that the OP is ever going to return, but what a well-chosen screen name. Bravo. [/QUOTE] Oh, well thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/30 "2007-04-20T13:11:21Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] …Afterward, don’t forget to send thank-you notes. [/QUOTE] Reminds me of the old joke: Q: Why don’t Southern belles like orgies? A: Too many thank-you notes afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/31 "2007-04-20T13:30:07Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Crap, I forgot to add a “u” to your name for comical, yet annoying, jest. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I fail to see the humor in “ **Qadgop the Mercotanu** ”. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/32 "2007-04-22T01:14:56Z")
BTW, how is _“menage a trois”_ pronounced? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/33 "2007-04-22T01:57:03Z")
“Men AHDJ a twah” is how I’ve always heard it pronounced, but I’m not a native French speaker. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/34 "2007-04-22T07:08:06Z")
From past experience with MMM experiences, one problem is often that two seem to be having more fun than the third…so it is important to make sure that all three are equally interested to begin with and it is not just a ploy by one, or two of the parties to hook up. Sometimes the best threesomes are those where no couple is involved - all three being single and interested in the other two. When a couple is involved, there can be some problems if one feels left out of the games. Regarding initiating the process - it really depends. Sometimes spontaneous is best, but for the most part, it is usually better if all parties know what they are getting into and you take your time building up to it, so to speak. When it works out, it is fantastic and often leads to more evenings together. I knew of three guys who got along so well together that they all moved in together, slept in one huge bed every night and that three-way relationship lasted for a few years! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/35 "2007-04-22T09:41:44Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] BTW, how is _“menage a trois”_ pronounced? [/QUOTE] _THREE_-sum Damned annoyances. Always remember that the ones you see in movies (mainstream or porn) are choreographed. In reality they’re a bit more spontaneous and complicated. All the damned elbows- yach. Then there’s the issue that there are things that can be quite nice to do 3 to a bed, but sleeping’s not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/36 "2007-04-22T12:24:35Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] BTW, how is _“menage a trois”_ pronounced? [/QUOTE] Head. Ache. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/37 "2007-04-22T13:23:25Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] That would be sex with a Starfleet officer.) [/QUOTE] Oh god that’s hot. Mmmmm. I do love me some Starfleet Officer. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756/38 "2007-04-22T16:30:35Z")
My experiences with this kind of thing have always turned out quite nice. Things will evolve naturally, no pre-etiquette needed, imho. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-for-a-threesome/400756.md?page=1)