# Etiquette Question (Late-Early)... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2014, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305 "2014-11-11T04:14:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/1 "2014-11-11T04:14:34Z")
My Uncle A (who died in 2006 of bleeding on the brain) had an interesting idiosyncrasy. He would pick us up with his wife Sundays to go to a restaurant to eat. And each Sunday, he came progressively earlier and earlier. He had some serious issues I need not go into. But when we complained, he retorted that when a driver comes to pick someone up, it is the person being picked up who the burden rests on to be ready. Is that true? If someone comes earlier–earlier than the agreed-on time–is it the their fault for being early, or the other person’s fault for not being on time? (Also, keep in mind we were aware he was going to be earlier each time, the agreed-upon time notwithstanding.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/2 "2014-11-11T04:37:28Z")
It is not true. The agreed upon speaks for itself. It is the time each expects the other to be ready. Etiquette would be that you are ready at the time you agreed to be ready at. You have scheduled yourself to be ready at that time. To expect that person to be ready sooner is unreasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/3 "2014-11-11T05:43:44Z")
Etiquette questions are IMHO territory. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/4 "2014-11-11T05:58:09Z")
An uncle being early is different from a guy coming early for a first date. I think no problem as long as he is willing to wait until people are ready at the agreed upon time. At my daughters wedding all the Germans were ready ten minutes ready for everything, and they made fun of the one guy who was just in time. But they couldn’t expect much from him - he was Dutch. So it depends on your culture. ---
**Author:** ![nicky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f0a364/32.png) [@nicky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicky)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/5 "2014-11-11T09:05:07Z")
Germans are wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/6 "2014-11-11T10:48:49Z")
> [@nicky](#): > > Germans are wrong. At least Germans run on time! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AllShookDown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/7 "2014-11-11T12:37:48Z")
My German efficiency gene says if I’m on time for something, I’m late. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/8 "2014-11-11T17:56:41Z")
Sounds like Uncle A was a bit of a fruitcake on this issue. There is something to be said for trying to be ready early, which allows a margin of error for unexpected delays in getting ready, but to insist one MUST be ready early by some undeterminable amount of time is rather silly. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/9 "2014-11-11T19:43:53Z")
I agree with the uncle that etiquette and/or common sense would be for someone to be ready just a little bit early. That way if there’s a delay, you’re still ready on time. Since the person picking you up is doing you a favor, being ready is a polite way to minimize the inconvenience on them. However, that’s a little bit early from the agreed-upon time. If he says 9:00, I aim for 8:55. If he’s there at 8:50 the next week, I’m still aiming for 8:55. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/10 "2014-11-12T19:22:36Z")
> [@Uniqueorn](#): > > At least Germans run on time! 🙂 I hear that they get to eat chocolate for breakfast too. Well, that’s what I heard… ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/11 "2014-11-12T19:51:15Z")
How did your uncle react if he arrived at the restaurant before his reserved time, and they made him wait? Or did he make reservations? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/12 "2014-11-12T23:26:02Z")
It’s a good thing he wasn’t my uncle, because I’m just crazy enough to be willing to be sucked into this conversation: “But we agreed to meet at 4:00.” “But I’m here now, so let’s go.” “But we agreed to meet at 4:00” “But I’m here now, so let’s go.” (Repeat as often as necessary until one person or the other collapses and dies.) On time is the time. After all, you _agreed_. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/13 "2014-11-12T23:42:43Z")
My rant is similar to **kunilou** ’s, so I feel justified, even though it’s slightly off-topic. If you pre-ordered a pizza for 6:30, and show up at 6:15, do not huff and puff that your pizza is not ready. It is timed to come out of the oven at EXACTLY 6:30. Not early, not late. We’re a well-oiled machine, you’re the idiot who can’t understand what time you ordered the pizza for. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/14 "2014-11-16T00:28:17Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > How did your uncle react if he arrived at the restaurant before his reserved time, and they made him wait? Or did he make reservations? > > Regards, > Shodan Usually there was a line of people waiting outside. I usu. walked away, and didn’t see exactly what happened. But sometimes there would be a person already in line. Sometimes when I came back, he would be ahead of the person in line. And sometimes not. (I never figured out how he got ahead of the person in line those days that that happened.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-late-early/704305/15 "2014-11-16T02:54:32Z")
> [@AllShookDown](#): > > My German efficiency gene says if I’m on time for something, I’m late. How can it possibly be efficient to be early for things? That ensures you have to waste the time between when you arrive and the start of the appointment. Time you could have used efficiently on whatever was your previous activity before stopping and traveling to this activity. I can easily see it offending your German \*punctuality \*gene though. The OP’s uncle was a nutcase. I would have ensured I was ready 5 minutes prior to the scheduled time and also ensured we never left my place any earlier than that no matter how many hours or days before then Uncle TimeAndCourtesyChallenged had chosen to arrive.