# Etiquette question: should I let the kid pay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773 "2014-05-06T02:37:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/1 "2014-05-06T02:37:32Z")
We’re hosting a college student from another country for 8 weeks. It’s a first-world country so he is quite familiar with modern conveniences, including toilets. Unfortunately, his use of those has not been limited to food that has been digested - as evidenced by the rather thoroughly clogged toilet - and the chunks of **orange peel** we’re finding as we attempt to plunge it. It has, so far, defeated: - the plunger - Several boxes of baking soda chased by vinegar - A whole lot of dish soap and hot water - Two toilet augers (the 3 foot one broke, the 6 foot one failed to budge the blockage). So tomorrow we call the plumber. Our guest has offered to pay, but I know he’s an impoverished college student. On the other hand, we’ve got a lot of unusual and pretty massive expenses going on right now ourselves and I hadn’t budgeted 150 bucks for a plumber service call. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/2 "2014-05-06T02:52:59Z")
How about you split it in some fashion? It’s a good lesson for him, and will help you. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/3 "2014-05-06T02:53:05Z")
My gut reaction is that despite him being an idiot (well orange peels are considered good for garbage disposal) - that by hosting someone - you are responsible for some of what could pass for accidental use of your place or belongings. Maybe his place was able to handle orange peels in the past. I don’t know. I would expect him to offer to pay - I would if I was staying somewhere, but I think most hosts would absorb the cost. Just my 2 cents. Also give the plunger another try tomorrow before calling. I haven’t ever had orange peel down there, but after another 12 hours or so - sometimes it works. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/4 "2014-05-06T02:58:59Z")
Did he explain why he was flushing orange peels down the toilet? Was he eating on the toilet? What else has he flushed down there? I’ve never heard of anyone flushing orange peels. How bizarre. He’s lucky he’s not studying abroad in one of those countries where you can’t even flush the toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/5 "2014-05-06T03:09:30Z")
I’m tempted to say that you shouldn’t be hosting someone who is not related to you, who isn’t being pursued by the mafia or an abusive boyfriend, if $150 is enough to break your wallet. Especially for 8 weeks. Impoverished or not, though, the kid–who actually isn’t a kid, right?–should pay a price for his stupidity. So I think splitting the cost is fair. And you can tell him that he should consider changing his major to plumbing to make the lesson even more memorable. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/6 "2014-05-06T03:14:51Z")
I would never charge a guest for such a thing. You agreed to host him, so pony up. In the meantime, have a talk with him about plumbing and any other subjects he might not fully understand. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/7 "2014-05-06T03:18:22Z")
He’s a guest from another country. Chances are he is unbelievably embarrassed that he did this. Pay the plumber and reassure your guest that all is well. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/8 "2014-05-06T03:54:04Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > He’s a guest from another country. Chances are he is unbelievably embarrassed that he did this. Pay the plumber and reassure your guest that all is well. But don’t give him a fruit basket. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/9 "2014-05-06T03:54:10Z")
If he really insists on paying in some way, do you have anything around the house he could help with to ‘work it off’? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/10 "2014-05-06T04:01:11Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > I’ve never heard of anyone flushing orange peels. How bizarre. After helping my landlord with our septic tank for the five unit building we live in I would be _relieved_ if the weirdest thing found down the toilet was orange peels. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/11 "2014-05-06T04:01:56Z")
I wouldn’t let him pay, he’s a guest. But I’d make my wife pay because this would have been her goofy idea in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/12 "2014-05-06T04:31:04Z")
Nope. You take on a guest, you assume responsibility for the cost of any repairs while he stays there. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/13 "2014-05-06T05:21:21Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Nope. You take on a guest, you assume responsibility for the cost of any repairs while he stays there. \*Any \*repairs? No, of course not. If he purposely damages something, just because he’s a guest doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay. But something accidental, yes, you assume the cost of that. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/14 "2014-05-06T06:02:49Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > I would never charge a guest for such a thing. You agreed to host him, so pony up. > > In the meantime, have a talk with him about plumbing and any other subjects he might not fully understand. Nobody sane knowingly flushes an orange peel knowing it will clog the toilet. It is part of the learning experience of being in a different culture. If he insists on paying, give him some way to work it off. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/15 "2014-05-06T06:58:39Z")
In what different culture? What country in the world has toilets down which you flush fruit peels? 😕 He’s from another country, not another planet. I would not have required him to pay for it, but since he offered, I’d take him up on his offer. If he didn’t mean it, lesson number two: don’t offer to do something unless you mean it. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/16 "2014-05-06T08:15:08Z")
Can’t you just be honest with him and split it? It’s not like you demanded it of him; that you’re even asking in this thread suggests you’re classier than that. What if you just said “Thank you for offering. Normally I wouldn’t even think of accepting payment for something like this, but this was an unusual enough repair that will incur significant costs which we can’t easily afford right now. We don’t want you to pay for the whole thing, but what about 50%/25%/work it off?” ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/17 "2014-05-06T10:31:33Z")
If he’s staying with the OP for 8 weeks, he’s not a houst guest in the truest sense of the world. He’s more like a temporary roomate. Thus, some of the rules of etiquette should not apply. I wouldn’t expect the OP to keep the house immaculate while he’s there, for instance. And I’d expect him to wash his own dishes and laundry. And be prepared to pay for the stuff he breaks. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/18 "2014-05-06T10:33:46Z")
Just like people seem to leave their brains at home when they go on vacation (it was only a little bear; I didn’t know the cliff was so high) he might have never done this at home, but…the suction! He’s probably mortified now and I feel your pain. Since he’s impoverished he probably doesn’t have the cash but should contribute in some way since he clearly caused the problem. I’d let him work some of it off. Maybe even mow neighbors yards and give you the earnings toward the plumbing bill? We had a stubborn sink clog that was cleared with a snake from Lowe’s. Not the cheaper one—a longer, sturdy one that cost around $20-$25 and had some kind of nub tip. If you haven’t already tried that you might give it a go. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/19 "2014-05-06T10:50:24Z")
I’ve learned something valuable here. No longer will I flush my watermelon rind. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773/20 "2014-05-06T10:50:49Z")
Just re-read the OP and see you’ve tried an auger. The one that worked for us was much longer. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-should-i-let-the-kid-pay/687773.md?page=2)