# Etiquette question: writing thank you notes for baby-cards & gifts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 12, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704 "2008-06-12T16:52:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704/21 "2008-06-13T22:35:23Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] For a swing, and a tummy mat, sure, and for the larger gifts I have thanked the givers in person. But in my case.. to write a thank-you note saying: “Baby looks so sweet in his white cotton onesie”, or “That pair of baby socks will sure come in handy this fall !” doesn’t that seem a little heavy-handed? [/QUOTE] It’s natural to feel more effusive over larger gifts, but anyone who took the time to pick out and pack something deserves written thanks. Otherwise it seems like you’re applying some sort of “monetary worth of gift = number of words/exclamation marks in the thank you note” formula, which seems a bit tacky. ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704/22 "2008-06-13T23:24:39Z")
gift = thank you note period. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2008, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704/23 "2008-06-14T06:31:12Z")
It’s not that simple, and it’s not that I think expensive gifts should get more recognition then inexpensive ones. It’s just that I feel that such gifts fall in a different category all together, and _should_ be treated differently, etiquettewise, from bigger gifts. To spare both the giver \*and \*receivers’ feelings. Perhaps **Marinee** ’s distinction is what I mean. There’s a difference between a gift and an “aardigheidje” (nicety) as we call it in Dutch. An “aardigheidje” is something in between a gift and an acknowledgement. A postcard is an " aardigheidje", as is an e-mail with a picture. Such small gifts and cards call for reciprocity, not for thank-you cards. If I gave a small gift like that and got a thank-you note, I’d be slightly _embarrassed_. If you gave someone a picture over the e-mail, and you got a thank-you note, wouldn’t you have the feeling: \*“Hey, are you being sarcastic? I don’t call that a gift, and I’d be embarrassed to think that you would think I would.” \* To give another example, being treated to a cup of coffee is not the same as a dinner. Even if you enjoyed having coffee with someone very much, the right way to express that emotion is to reciprocate, not to write a thank-you note. Anyway, thanks for everyone’s opinions! ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2008, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704/24 "2008-06-14T07:11:59Z")
So this last post seems like you had your mind made up before you posted. I’m not saying it’s a crime against humanity to skip the note, but comparing them to a picture or a cup of coffee isn’t the same. I didn’t go pick out a cup of coffee to celebrate your baby being born. If I give you a onesie (or whatever that’s called) that’s a celebration of your baby that I picked out for you. Hardly the same thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-question-writing-thank-you-notes-for-baby-cards-gifts/452704.md?page=1)