# Etiquette when correcting a misspelling of your name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2021, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303 "2021-02-06T01:47:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/1 "2021-02-06T01:47:55Z")
My first name is seemingly pretty common, but has a minor (and very unusual) change in the spelling that could be missed at a glance. My first name also has a common shorthand that obscures this variant. I’ll use the name Christopher as an example (not my real first name). Common name: Christopher My name: Christepher Shorthand: Chris This only really comes up in written communication, as the two names sound virtually identical when spoken. I’d guess at least a third of written communication coming my way misspells my first name. In the past, I generally closed my replies to messages containing the error with my full first name and just hope that they “catch on.” I haven’t been willing to be more insistent than that out of fear of coming off petulant. Sometimes it really matters if my name is spelled correctly, and in those cases I’ll do something about it. But for cases where it ultimately doesn’t matter _how_ my name is spelled, I wanted to see what you folks think. For more context, if I’m emailing a person for the first time, I’ll close with my full first name and last name. Subsequent emails will usually just be my shorthand first name with last initial (e.g. Joe B.). However, I’ll keep using my full first name if emails directed to me continue to misspell my first name. What would you all do? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/2 "2021-02-06T01:52:09Z")
Be as polite as possible. You’ve seen the same doggone misspellings a hundred times, but for your correspondent, it may well be the first time. Otherwise, be assertive. Just gentle. “Well, fact is, my family spells it ‘Christepher.’” That’s usually enough to get through to anyone who has any courtesy. Of course, sure as shittin’, some clod will push back. “The _proper_ spelling is ‘Christopher.’” I have a friend named Macdonald – small “d” – who gets that a LOT. “You’re the one who is spelling it wrong.” For that kind of a-hole, I reserve no patience at all. Unload on 'em with your biggest guns. ---
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/3 "2021-02-06T01:58:59Z")
Actually had a disagreement with a DMV employee when I first got my license. He showed me his computer screen and asked me what was wrong. I looked it over and couldn’t see anything, so he pointed out the spelling of my first name. But for having my learner’s permit with me it didn’t seem he would believe me when I told him it was correct. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/4 "2021-02-06T02:00:51Z")
I have a somewhat less common spelling of an otherwise common first name and my approach is to never correct someone if they’re close. I do wonder how they so often get it wrong when replying to my initial message with my name so clear laid out, several times but I don’t really care. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/5 "2021-02-06T02:02:33Z")
I also keep a bit poster on my wall, with snips of all the misspellings I get in the mail, see online, etc. Dozens and dozens! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/6 "2021-02-06T02:16:46Z")
I have a friend with a name commonly misspelled. She tends to ignore it, but she’s also fairly confrontational and doesn’t have a problem getting in someone’s face when they ‘correct’ her, as if to assume she spelled her own name incorrectly. I think if it were me, using your example, I’d just go by Chris and when my full name is required, and it’s important to be spelled out correctly I’d probably say/write “Christepher [Last name], please note the uncommon spelling of my first name” or something like that. Does your email happen to contain your name? If it did then it would be really easy and not the least bit impolite to mention they spell it correctly so you get their email. Even though hitting the reply button makes that moot, people will still glance at it when they read it. I get a little of that in real life. My dad and I work together and both have the same first and last name. People tend to assume it’s a Jr/Sr thing and will very often refer to us like that. 99% of the time, it doesn’t make any difference and can often make it easier so we know who they’re referring to. However, it has caused problems over the years so in important situations, I’ll put my middle initial (or his, if I’m talking about him) and sometimes even add in my birth date to make it clear. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/7 "2021-02-06T02:20:28Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Of course, sure as shittin’, some clod will push back. “The _proper_ spelling is ‘Christopher.’” I have a friend named Macdonald – small “d” – who gets that a LOT. “You’re the one who is spelling it wrong.” For that kind of a-hole, I reserve no patience at all. Unload on 'em with your biggest guns. I have a friend with an uncommon variation of a very common name. It would be like if her last name was Smiths. Naturally, most people hear ‘Smith’. She spent her whole life correcting people, only to marry a Smith. I think she found it slightly amusing, maybe even a bit of a relief, but she mentioned that all the time she spent correcting people was for nothing. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/8 "2021-02-06T02:40:21Z")
My name is not too unusually spelled, but it is the less common variant spelling. However, it’s also more uncommon altogether, so most correspondence I do seems to get the spelling correct. Plus most stuff I fill out these days is online, and the letters are automated. Still, it does occasionally come up. When I do correct, it’s usually in a fairly casual yet direct way, e.g. " By the way, my name is spelled \_\_\_\_." If a more formal tone is required, that becomes “Please note my name is spelled \_\_\_\_\_\_.” I most often encounter the misspellings in situations where I told the person my name or wrote it down by hand on a form, in both cases, I can usually correct things more easily verbally. I did this at my doctor’s office, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/9 "2021-02-06T02:41:23Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > For more context, if I’m emailing a person for the first time, I’ll close with my full first name and last name. Subsequent emails will usually just be my shorthand first name with last initial (e.g. Joe B.). However, I’ll keep using my full first name if emails directed to me continue to misspell my first name. I’m guessing that that’s too subtle for your correspondents. I would respond to the first misspelling with a friendly note along the lines of “By the way, we actually spell it Christepher instead of the more usual way, but I go by Chris whenever I don’t have to use the full name”. And then just revert to your usual practice of signing “Chris”. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/10 "2021-02-06T02:42:08Z")
I had a coworker who insisted on “correcting” how I pronounced my own surname. He was from a European country that colonized my country of origin, and forced religious conversions and “Christian” names on the “native” population. The language in Europe has evolved over 300 years since this happened. The names they left behind in the colonies didn’t. He insisted that I pronounce my name the way it is pronounced in the “mother country” in the 21st century. Finally I lost patience and told him off. The whole department stood up and applauded. Unfortunately our boss was a bigger racist than this clown and I got warned for my “uncivil behavior and humiliating a coworker” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/11 "2021-02-06T02:52:10Z")
I would ignore it or change my name. If it’s pronounced the same way as the common spelling then I wouldn’t expect people to get it right. ---
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/12 "2021-02-06T03:18:22Z")
I would certainly never expect someone to randomly get the spelling correct, but if I send them an email (where such email is configured to display my full first and last name) and close that email with my full first and last name, it does annoy me somewhat when they still misspell it in a reply. This thread was triggered by an interaction I had just this afternoon. My email happens to be firstname.lastname at gmail .com, is configured to display my first and last name, and closed with the same. They still misspelled it. Maybe as a person with an unusually-spelled name I’ve grown accustomed to scrutinizing my spelling of another person’s name, and most people just don’t do that. I could change it to the more customary spelling, but I’m pretty sure I’m the only person on the planet with my particular first and last name. I know that would no longer be the case if I changed it. ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/13 "2021-02-06T04:27:15Z")
I have a name that everyone thinks they can spell but they invariably add a letter to my first name and remove one from my last. For in person situations I have a number of silly jokes up my sleeve that help people remember, even in formal settings acknowledging that having a common name spelled in an uncommon manner is a tad ridiculous is helpful. People are more likely to remember if you have given them a smile. In writing I will just add an asterisk with a \*note spelling, usually preemptively if it is going to matter. If it doesn’t matter I try to ignore it but it really does grate in some circumstances, particularly when people get upset and tell me I am the one getting it wrong. Blame my parents for my first name, I am not sure who for the second but it certainly wasn’t me. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/14 "2021-02-06T05:50:50Z")
It’s a weird dichotomy that when I get something wrong and am corrected, I genuinely appreciate it and strive to get it right ever after, but when I see something that’s wrong and go to correct them, I feel guilty and like a real dick for being so confrontational, and usually wuss out. Really, chances are most of them are likely to be as appreciative as I am, but my anxiety is often too strong to believe it. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/15 "2021-02-06T18:01:17Z")
The rule in journalism is that you spell the name the way the person wants to have their name spelled. Anything else is the wrong spelling. Relevant article (paragraph 6): > **[How are you supposed to spell Muammar Gaddafi/Khadafy/Qadhafi?](https://www.straightdope.com/21341687/how-are-you-supposed-to-spell-muammar-gaddafi-khadafy-qadhafi)** ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/16 "2021-02-06T18:11:53Z")
My last name ends in SON which is the more common spelling. Sadly many times people spell my last name SEN. When I have to give my last name I always spell it, saying SON, the correct way. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/17 "2021-02-06T18:34:17Z")
For me the -SEN/-SON ending are usually pronounced the same around here, with a schwa. So, if say your name is “Anderson” I wouldn’t say it any different than “Andersen.” I’d definitely need it spelled out. Same with -berg/-burg (although if pronounced in German, that I can hear, but in English, they’re homophonous in my dialect.) ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/18 "2021-02-06T18:43:31Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > It’s a weird dichotomy that when I get something wrong and am corrected, I genuinely appreciate it and strive to get it right ever after, but when I see something that’s wrong and go to correct them, I feel guilty and like a real dick for being so confrontational, and usually wuss out. Sometimes, etiquette and manners seem akin to insecurity! The ideal, I guess, is to be “better than that.” To be the good guy, the adult in the playground, etc. We don’t poke others with sticks just for fun. And sometimes, asserting your rights seems a little like being unwarrantedly aggressive. It’s easier to “let it go.” (I’d rather be a victim than the benefactor of injustice.) There’s a Platonic Ideal in there somewhere, but it is hard to find. Miss Manners was usually a pretty good source of advice. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/19 "2021-02-06T20:32:55Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > It’s a weird dichotomy that when I get something wrong and am corrected, I genuinely appreciate it and strive to get it right ever after, but when I see something that’s wrong and go to correct them, I feel guilty and like a real dick for being so confrontational, and usually wuss out. Really, chances are most of them are likely to be as appreciative as I am, but my anxiety is often too strong to believe it. I think it’s just how you’re wired. I’m like that too. I’ve always said that if I’m wrong about something, be it a pronunciation or otherwise, let me know. Granted, don’t be condescending about it, but you can certainly tell me. Besides, I’d rather be briefly embarrassed or confused about something I thought I knew than to keep repeating it. The problem is, a lot of people aren’t like that. A lot of people will lash out at you for correcting them. I just try to keep my corrections to myself. A few times over the years when someone finally does correct them and they ask me about it, I’ve said to them ‘yeah, I knew, but you tend to get mad when people correct you’. Generally it’s harmless stuff anyway. If you’re going to get mad at me when I tell you that it’s a PPP Loan, not a PPE loan, I’m not going to bother. ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/20 "2021-02-06T20:44:50Z")
My last name is one syllable, 5 letters, simple, right? All my life I’ve had people put an ‘s’ on the end. For many years, I would put stress on the last consonant, in an attempt to be clear about the lack of the ‘s’. Later, and still today, I took to just automatically saying my name, then spelling out the last name (Name N. Name, N-A-M-E). Mostly it works, but I still get the occasional ‘s’. My first name is two syllables, 6 letters. People get that one right. It’s only when I use my nickname, the first half of my name (like Chris for Christopher or Mike for Michael), that sometimes I get, you guessed it, an ‘s’ added to the end of it. Maybe I have a slight lisp that I don’t really hear anymore, so I do try to speak extra clearly whenever giving my name, even in informal settings. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303.md?page=2)