# Etiquette when correcting a misspelling of your name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2021, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303 "2021-02-06T01:47:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/21 "2021-02-06T21:42:32Z")
My problem is not just misspelling, but gross mispronunciation, sometimes substituting letters that aren’t even there. I correct people if it matters, otherwise I just shrug it off. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/22 "2021-02-06T22:26:40Z")
My first name has three fairly common variants. Variant A ~50%, Variant B ~30% and Variant C ~20%. It’s a super common middle name for some reason. Whenever I meet someone with that same name, first or middle, we always mention how we spell it. My first name is the B Variant and I don’t give a shit if someone spells it incorrectly. ---
**Author:** ![FriendlyCurmudgeon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friendlycurmudgeon/32/5786_2.png) [@FriendlyCurmudgeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriendlyCurmudgeon)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/23 "2021-02-06T22:52:12Z")
> [@Mighty\_Mouse](#): > > I had a coworker who insisted on “correcting” how I pronounced my own surname. He was from a European country that colonized my country of origin, and forced religious conversions and “Christian” names on the “native” population. Oh how did you keep your cool ? A friend of the family tried to convince me my family name was French. Like thanks, but I’ve done the homework already all the way back to England and Ireland. He wasn’t convinced. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/24 "2021-02-07T00:12:33Z")
> [@FriendlyCurmudgeon](#): > > Oh how did you keep your cool ? Every single person of color can tell you numerous stories of biting their tongue over and over again, so as not to be the “one who can’t fit in”. There are several white people who are convinced that they are not racist because they me as a friend. We know that almost every person exhibits some degree of racist behavior. We can’t overtly fight it all day, every day. And white people have the money and power. We go along 90% of the time. And racist is not a disqualification for being in my social circle. Otherwise my social circle would be very tiny. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/25 "2021-02-07T02:22:26Z")
My name is Jon, short for Jonathan. I don’t remember this, but I’m told I was crying when my Mom picked me up from my first day at kindergarten (age 5). All our desks were labeled with our first names and in some cases like mine initial of our last names because there were a couple of Johns in the class. I crossed out the h only to be corrected by the teacher who wold not believe I knew how to spell my name correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/26 "2021-02-07T02:46:45Z")
Apart from my experience at the DMV I don’t recall having any experiences with people being outright _skeptical_ of the spelling of my first name. And I should add that plenty of people have spotted the odd spelling and delighted in it. I remember a math teacher seeing it in high school and saying “normally I’d call you [Chris] but I’m gonna give you the full treatment.” So he did, and I never felt any sense of malice from him for it. I know it did take me until about first grade to spell my whole name correctly but my last name is very unusual and owing to its Germanic origin has an easily-distorted consonant cluster. Mine contains “chs” but most people misspell it “sch.” For me it’s usually lamenting that at touristy shops those mass-produced items with your first name (like keychains) will never have _my_ first name. For anyone wondering why I’m so reticent about just saying what my first name is, the spelling of it is rare enough that just putting it in Google will point you straight to me. Not ready for that yet. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/27 "2021-02-07T02:52:46Z")
My name is uncommon, but it’s spelled the way it sounds. No one ever misspelled it until spell check. Now it’s routinely misspelled, because spell check “fixes” it. Mostly i ignore it. I know that often the human spelled it right, but failed to notice that software broke it. But if i have an ongoing written relationship with someone and they don’t notice and fix it themselves, I’ll eventually mention it. You need to be wrong the times before I’ll say something, unless your are printing a name tag or something, where it actually matters. On the other hand, there are two plausible ways to pronounce the written name. I always correct people who mispronounce it. I just interject, “it’s name”, and usually the person apologizes and moves on. Which is fine. You have to mispronounce my name a LOT of times before i get offended (or even remember that you got it wrong) though. I’d go nuts if i took it personally every time someone guessed wrong. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/28 "2021-02-07T03:35:47Z")
Yeah, people want to add an “L” to my last name all the time. It’s Pawinski, but for some reason, people want to make it Palinski or Pawlinski. I don’t really get it. And there’s also substituting “-sky” at the end. I have a handful of published photo credits with that one. I actually don’t care much how you say my name. Hell, even I pronounce it a number of different ways. I might schwa the first vowel, or I might make it a long o sound, like Edgar Allan Pawinski. Some people use the “aw” sound as in “caught” for those who do not have the caught/cot merger. Some may know it’s Polish and use the “v” sound for the “w” (which is correct in the Polish.) It’s all good – we just settled on puh-WIN-skee as that’s what most English speakers seemed to say when seeing our name. But I just don’t understand adding the “L”, and it happens commonly. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/29 "2021-02-07T05:10:26Z")
Walk up to 100 random people with a microphone and ask each one their name. Then play back the audio for other random people to listen to, and write down those names. How many would be spelled, first and last, correctly?. My guess is very few. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/30 "2021-02-07T05:50:06Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > I would certainly never expect someone to randomly get the spelling correct, but if I send them an email (where such email is configured to display my full first and last name) and close that email with my full first and last name, it does annoy me somewhat when they still misspell it in a reply. If it’s really as unexpected and subtle a variant as the analogy you gave “Christepher”, I think it could easily be overlooked. And if I did notice it, I’d think it was probably a typo. I would definitely feel the need to either ask or to look up your name somewhere else to confirm that you really spell it that way. I mean, of everyone can spell and pronounce their name any way they choose, and once a person’s preferences are _known_, anyone who persists with something else is an asshole. But if you have a very unusual spelling or pronunciation, you either have to be explicit or be patient with people not catching on immediately. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/31 "2021-02-07T10:34:49Z")
I once had the opposite experience. I tried to cash a check at a bank, and the teller, obviously new, wouldn’t accept my signature. I always sign my name exactly the same way, but she started criticizing my penmanship. Like “Oh, you’re not making this letter correctly, and you seem to be leaving out part of this letter at the end.” I pointed out to her that it’s identical to my signature on record, and she said that signature is also wrong. I had to get the manager to cash my check. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/32 "2021-02-07T12:41:05Z")
My first name is boringly common and impossible to misspell. My last name may have originally been German and then was Anglicized later. When I was still in the States people would want to spell it one of some version of the original German name but I was very good at preemptively saying “Name, spelled just as it sounds” which seemed to work. For some reason, it did get misspelled on my motorcycle registration and it was interesting to see the junk mail which propagated the error. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/33 "2021-02-07T12:50:20Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > I would certainly never expect someone to randomly get the spelling correct, but if I send them an email (where such email is configured to display my full first and last name) and close that email with my full first and last name, it does annoy me somewhat when they still misspell it in a reply. It’s annoying, but I think you probably just have to be eternally patient about people getting it wrong. My surname is an unusual variant of a name that has a different, more common spelling, and my given name is one that people often just spell wrong by transposing two letters. People just make mistakes - sometimes through carelessness and ignorance, sometimes just through muscle memory when typing - occasionally, by allowing autocorrect to steer them wrong. Correcting someone more than once, in informal communication, starts to become a rod for your own back. It matters if a form is being filled or a contract being negotiated, but otherwise, I’ve just learned to shrug off the fact that people get my name wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/34 "2021-02-07T13:19:20Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > My name is Jon, short for Jonathan. My name is John, which is not short for anything, because I’m named (via my father and grandfather) after John “Jack” Pickford, who was my great-grandfather’s cousin. I have been constantly beset throughout my life by people who think my real name must be “Jonathan” and it annoys me to no end. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/35 "2021-02-07T13:43:16Z")
My brother’s name is Larry. In grade school a teacher insisted he use his _real_ name, Lawrence. My mom had to make an appointment with the principal and teacher, bringing in his birth certificate and everything. ---
**Author:** ![TimothyNewsome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@TimothyNewsome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimothyNewsome)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/36 "2021-02-07T14:02:27Z")
When the principal finally got everything straightened out, how much of a tip did your Mom leave him? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/37 "2021-02-07T14:27:38Z")
I think you missed my point. I don’t expect it to be spelled correctly (I’d be surprised if even 50% get it on the first shot. Why would they?) Whence the additional letter that isn’t in my name when you say it? That’s what makes me scratch my head. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/38 "2021-02-07T15:28:53Z")
I don’t expect anyone to spell my last name correctly after hearing it. Suppose it’s Boonn; I get a lot of Boon and Boone, unsurprisingly. In terms of correcting people, I treat it like any other typo. If someone is asking me to look over something before distribution to a wider audience or printing to an official document, I will make the correction. Otherwise I generally don’t worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/39 "2021-02-07T15:43:25Z")
There are minority alternate spellings of both my first and last name. When asked, “Is there an \* on the end of that?”, a simple “No there isn’t, jackhole” settles matters nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303/40 "2021-02-07T15:57:09Z")
My name is misspelled all the time. Unless there’s some concrete reason it must be spelled correctly I don’t do anything proactive. I just keep spelling my name correctly, say, at the bottom of messages in case it’s noticed. Otherwise I let it go. Same with pronunciation. When I fist meet someone, I say my name a maximum of three times. After that, I let em say whatever they want without comment. If E notices the way I say my name and adjust then fine. If not, I just let it go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etiquette-when-correcting-a-misspelling-of-your-name/932303.md?page=3)