# etv78 - Who the fuck do you think you are? \[open spoilers for How I Married Your Mother finale\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2014, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391 "2014-04-05T03:37:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/61 "2014-04-09T19:23:00Z")
Hey Ladies… If you’re in the mood to talk about your bra with ETV, [here’s your chance](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=720508)! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2014, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/62 "2014-04-09T22:46:17Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Hey Ladies… If you’re in the mood to talk about your bra with ETV, [here’s your chance](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=720508)! Perhaps he plans on trolling the section on nursing bras? ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/63 "2014-04-10T00:35:12Z")
Skeevy asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/64 "2014-04-10T01:20:32Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Perhaps he plans on trolling the section on nursing bras? Don’t be ridiculous. What would a nudist hippie want with a bra? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/65 "2014-04-10T01:22:34Z")
Every time he mentions teaching kids I die a little inside. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/66 "2014-04-10T02:34:22Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Every time he mentions teaching kids I die a little inside. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s never going to happen. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/67 "2014-04-10T03:35:14Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s never going to happen. Oh, he will…on another message board meant for teachers he will be the hardest working, most selfless teacher of them all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/68 "2014-04-10T04:37:17Z")
The procreative urge. I also seem to be an anomaly. I have never desired children nor _felt_ an urge to procreate. Is it something one feels, internally? I mean, I _feel_ an urge for chocolate, which is desire mixed with hunger - both of which seem to be urges. I feel urges for sex, which A) feels good and B) allows me to satisfy definite desires for intimacy, closeness and bodily touching, caressing, etc. with my SO. I really think (at least experientially) there may not be a procreative urge. So to call someone who doesn’t _have_ what may not exist seems disingenuous at best and a flat-out calumny and lie otherwise. Calumny : > [@](#): > > noun: calumny; plural noun: calumnies > > the making of false and defamatory statements in order to damage someone’s reputation; slander. Yes, I’m going with calumny. As such, I likewise heartily endorse this pitting and, though I have not run across **etv78** much here on the board, will view him henceforth as a despicable, mendacious low-life who would be better served by investigating whether the French Foreign Legion is still operational. Somewhere without internet access, preferably. Also, per post #32: Asshole. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/69 "2014-04-10T05:29:32Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > The procreative urge. > > I also seem to be an anomaly. I have never desired children nor _felt_ an urge to procreate. > Is it something one feels, internally? I mean, I _feel_ an urge for chocolate, which is desire mixed with hunger - both of which seem to be urges. > > I feel urges for sex, which A) feels good and B) allows me to satisfy definite desires for intimacy, closeness and bodily touching, caressing, etc. with my SO. > > I really think (at least experientially) there may not be a procreative urge. So to call someone who doesn’t _have_ what may not exist seems disingenuous at best > and a flat-out calumny and lie otherwise. > > Calumny : > > Yes, I’m going with calumny. As such, I likewise heartily endorse this pitting and, though I have not run across **etv78** much here on the board, will view him henceforth > as a despicable, mendacious low-life who would be better served by investigating whether the French Foreign Legion is still operational. > > Somewhere without internet access, preferably. > > Also, per post #32: > > Asshole. > > Fuck. The procreative urge certainly exists, but not for everyone. Many women have written, on this message board among other places, of what it feels like. Some have compared it to sexual desire. If you haven’t felt it, that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/70 "2014-04-10T05:53:11Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s never going to happen. > [@keturah](#): > > Oh, he will…on another message board meant for teachers he will be the hardest working, most selfless teacher of them all. 😉 Bingo. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/71 "2014-04-10T06:23:35Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > The procreative urge certainly exists, but not for everyone. Many women have written, on this message board among other places, of what it feels like. Some have compared it to sexual desire. > > If you haven’t felt it, that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Women’s desire for children. Yeah, sure. You know, though, I tried looking up “procreative urge” on Google. What I got was a bunch of angsty stuff about men, a bunch of angsty stuff about women, some angsty stuff about writers (?) and this thread. Weird, huh? It was almost like it might not exist. Hence my post. However, further discussion of this would distract from the purpose of this pitting, so I will stop here. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/72 "2014-04-10T07:05:40Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Hey Ladies… If you’re in the mood to talk about your bra with ETV, [here’s your chance](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=720508)! Yeah, I’d say thats his idea of fapping material. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/73 "2014-04-10T20:23:41Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Agreed. Corduroy is not a fabric, it is an abomination. > [@Yllaria](#): > > Corduroy is a fabric. > > “Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.” \<== THAT is an abomination. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > And also a type of road! I’m pretty sure that Corduroy is a bear, actually. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/74 "2014-04-10T20:39:49Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Every time he mentions teaching kids I die a little inside. He lives close enough to me that if he ever does get that degree, I’m going to have to get myself elected to my town’s School Committee, just to make sure they don’t hire him. And I really hate him for that. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/75 "2014-04-11T03:07:36Z")
This whole thing is just etv doing research for trolling a message board for the consciously childless. It’s all performance art. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/76 "2014-04-11T11:44:52Z")
So he’s given up on his dream of a PhD in physics?? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/77 "2014-04-11T13:10:15Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Yeah, I’d say thats his idea of fapping material. Tell me more about teh Asian boobs. Describe them in detail. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/78 "2014-04-11T13:20:09Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > He lives close enough to me that if he ever does get that degree, I’m going to have to get myself elected to my town’s School Committee, just to make sure they don’t hire him. And I really hate him for that. But we love you for it! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/79 "2014-04-24T15:31:49Z")
You still don’t get it, do you? You smug piece of shit. [Here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17317119&postcount=22) > [@Have you ever been pitted? If so . . . ? If not . . . ?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-pitted-if-so-if-not/686817/22): > > My habit of “fake personas” on other boards got me Pited. I also pointed out that marrying and having kids is pretty typical behavior. I am not pissed because I am too stupid to realize that not wanting kids is not the norm. The reason you got pitted is because: 1. You went from me saying “I don’t want kids” to accusing me of not wanting companionship or marriage. Wrong wrong wrong fucking wrong. 2. You said that a TV show about 30-somethings hanging out together was “not for me” somehow because it involved some characters who have kids. As if me not wanting to spawn precludes my ability to enjoy any mention of children on any media. Stupid ape. 3. This judgmental prick accusation in a haughty tone that came from a completely anti-social, child obsessed, loser psychopath that feels he has one ounce of standing to possibly judge another human being on anything, let alone their reproductive choices, of which you have none. So don’t act all innocent and wide-eyed that someone got upset for you for “pointed out that marrying and having kids is pretty typical behavior” because that is absolutely not what you did you shithead and you know it. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391/80 "2014-04-24T15:54:17Z")
> [@](#): > > My habit of “fake personas” on other boards got me Pited. I also pointed out that marrying and having kids is pretty typical behavior. To say nothing of the several pittings he’s ignored that have been due strictly to his asinine behavior on this board. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/etv78-who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are-open-spoilers-for-how-i-married-your-mother-finale/685391.md?page=5)