# Euphanism's for coitis **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 6, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571 "2000-06-06T18:05:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/21 "2000-06-07T13:21:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > “Euphemisms for coitus” > “Ever considered spelunking in the back yard?” > \*\* I’ve tried to explore that cave…my wife isn’t a spelunker. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/22 "2000-06-07T13:28:42Z")
I abwhore spelling miztakes. coitis looked right at the time And Euphemism…well, I don’t have an excuse. I’m going to sit quietly over here in the korner. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/23 "2000-06-07T13:29:17Z")
A term used for describing a woman who enjoys rather rigorous horizontal activity (or any geometric variation thereof) is to say: “She bangs like a bog door in the wind” On the general point: “How’s yer father” (As in: Are you game for a little How’s yer father ?)seems to enjoy universal understanding but i know not the origin. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/24 "2000-06-07T20:58:55Z")
Doing “what newlyweds usually do” ---
**Author:** ![Argeable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5ac83/32.png) [@Argeable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argeable)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/25 "2000-06-07T23:12:51Z")
sex, or is that not a eupemisim? ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/26 "2000-06-08T17:08:19Z")
When I first saw this, I thought it was “euphemisms for colitis”. I thought, well, there’s inflammatory bowel disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, _Clostridium dificile_ infection, etc. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/27 "2000-06-08T17:48:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > When I first saw this, I thought it was “euphemisms for colitis”. I thought, well, there’s inflammatory bowel disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, _Clostridium dificile_ infection, etc. > > Dr. J > \*\* Ha…good one The only euphenism for colitis that I can think of is…I have a load of poo in my drawers. ---
**Author:** ![VaHermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ed655f/32.png) [@VaHermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VaHermit)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/28 "2000-06-08T18:02:29Z")
Gettin’ it on, Doing the nasty, Rubbing pee-pees, The horizontal hula, Make funny noises together, urge to merge, mud for the turtle. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/29 "2000-06-09T11:43:17Z")
_SIGH_ ---
**Author:** ![Doctordec](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Doctordec](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctordec)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/30 "2000-06-09T13:06:44Z")
Hot Beef Injection Hide the Salami Tapping (As in “Who’s tapping her ?”) ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/31 "2000-06-09T16:18:30Z")
parking the limo. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/32 "2000-06-09T18:29:35Z")
Makin’ bacon 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![annalamerino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@annalamerino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annalamerino)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/33 "2000-06-09T18:36:28Z")
“the beast with 2 backs and a camcorder” ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/34 "2000-06-09T18:42:27Z")
This is kind of an in-joke… \*\* Making Cookies \*\* Someone was talking about “making it” it vague and general terms, and my lil sister happened to overhear, and she piped up and asked what they were making. With a straight face, I said “cookies” Well, ever since then my and my BF refer to sex as Making Cookies…😉 ---
**Author:** ![annalamerino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@annalamerino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annalamerino)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/35 "2000-06-09T18:49:52Z")
Maybe we could combine that with the Fortune Cookie joke; read the fortune then say “…in bed”. \*\*Making cookies…in bed the beast with 2 backs and a camcorder…in bed Makin’ bacon :)…in bed Hot Beef Injection…in bed Hide the Salami…in bed Tapping (As in “Who’s tapping her …in bed?”) Hmm… not much difference…in bed! ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/36 "2000-06-09T18:50:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > When I first saw this, I thought it was “euphemisms for colitis”. I thought, well, there’s inflammatory bowel disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, _Clostridium dificile_ infection, etc. > > > > Dr. J > > \*\* > > Ha…good one > The only euphenism for colitis that I can think of is…I have a load of poo in my drawers. > \*\* I laughed so hard at this one I had to excuse myself from my desk and go to the ladies’ room - people were staring! I have one: my friend coined this while listening to her roommate and her boyfriend go at it in the next room: “The Great Thumpity.” Also, I didn’t hear anyone say “knocking boots.” For oral sex, my sister and I invented “panning.” And my boyfriend calls it the “wha-wha-wha” which is supposed to mimic the shape of a woman’s mouth while she does it, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Pizzle\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Pizzle\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pizzle_Boy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/37 "2000-06-09T20:08:43Z")
scrogging ---
**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571/38 "2000-06-09T21:14:49Z")
We used to call it “going Dutch on a condom”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphanisms-for-coitis/21571.md?page=1)