# Euphemism for "b\*\*w j\*b"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2000, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021 "2000-03-21T11:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/1 "2000-03-21T11:07:00Z")
Please excuse the “M. Masterdomesque” tone to this query. In normal conversation, not one intended to titillate or excite, I’ve come across a mental block when I need to say “blow job” – especially when genteel persons are about. Supposed synonyms such as “fellatio” and “oral sex” fall short of describing this uninhibited, pleasurable, and often taboo, act. They are too scientific-sounding or vague respectively. Is there another term, closer in meaning, which I can use around the fairer sex? * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/2 "2000-03-21T12:02:00Z")
Going downtown? (I’d suggest ‘head’, but in your line of work that’s the bathroom, right?) * * * “If I pinch my nose with my fingers, close my mouth tight, and blow real hard, I can make my ears bleed. It’s not as cool as Superman’s X-ray vision, but it’s my own special talent.” ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/3 "2000-03-21T12:49:00Z")
Smoking the pink pipe? Swallowing the baloney pony? Gumming the green bean? I guess these aren’t any better are they? ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/4 "2000-03-21T12:52:00Z")
I don’t think there’s any genteel euphemism for oral sex. My roommate used to call them “knobbers”. _shrug_ * * * Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination. ---
**Author:** ![Popillia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Popillia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Popillia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/5 "2000-03-21T13:14:00Z")
hum-n-a, hum-n-a ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/6 "2000-03-21T13:16:00Z")
How about a ‘kneeling kiss’ ? Descriptive yet cutesy enough not to get you into too much trouble. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/7 "2000-03-21T13:31:00Z")
Knob shine? That’s about the only one that comes to mind for me. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/8 "2000-03-21T13:48:00Z")
Nothing to add to the list **Chiefy** but you did remind me of a euphemism for cunnilingus I recently heard. “Eatin’ at the Y” Ewwwwwwwww * * * You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. With love from the poster voted as having the **"Most Confusing Username"** ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/9 "2000-03-21T14:05:00Z")
Pullin’ a “Monica”. It gets the point across, and also shows that you’re up with current events. (Well maybe not all that current, but close enough.) ---
**Author:** ![renaissanceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@renaissanceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/renaissanceman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/10 "2000-03-21T14:13:00Z")
I got ya covered, Chief. This euphemism has a playful, lighthearted tone which is sure not to offend: “Honkin’ on Bobo” ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/11 "2000-03-21T14:27:00Z")
I call 'em hummers. And of course there’s always ‘giving the pearl necklace.’ PS- Got my postcard from Italy, Chief, thanks! * * * I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/12 "2000-03-21T14:32:00Z")
Gettin’ some lipstick on the dipstick has always been a fave of mine. ## gettin’ the knob polished gettin’ a hummer New and Improved Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/13 "2000-03-21T15:11:00Z")
from: the Sexual and Scatological Euphemisms page: [www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html](http://www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html) Too many are kinda boring though. FELLATIO – B.J. Blow Blow Job Blow the Whistle Bone-Lipper Chew It Cop a Doodle Cop a Stem Drop on It Eat Dick Fluting French Job French Way Get a Facial Give Face Give Head Give Pearls Gobble Gobble the Goop Go Down Go Down for a Whomp Go Down On Gum a Root Gunch Head Job Hum a Tune Hum Job Hummer Inhale the Oyster Knob Job Lay Some Lip Mouth Fuck Munch Open Wide for Chunky Pipe Job Piston Job Play a Tune Polish the Chrome Polish the Knob Serve Head Slob the Knob Smoke a Dick Smoke the White Owl Suck a Bondini Suck Dick Suck Off Suck the Sugar-Stick Sucky-Fucky Swallow a Sword Swing on It Tongue Job Worship At the Altar Wring It Dry ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/14 "2000-03-21T15:13:00Z")
from: the Sexual and Scatological Euphemisms page: [www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html](http://www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html) Too many are kinda boring though. FELLATIO – B.J. Blow Blow Job Blow the Whistle Bone-Lipper Chew It Cop a Doodle Cop a Stem Drop on It Eat Dick Fluting French Job French Way Get a Facial Give Face Give Head Give Pearls Gobble Gobble the Goop Go Down Go Down for a Whomp Go Down On Gum a Root Gunch Head Job Hum a Tune Hum Job Hummer Inhale the Oyster Knob Job Lay Some Lip Mouth Fuck Munch Open Wide for Chunky Pipe Job Piston Job Play a Tune Polish the Chrome Polish the Knob Serve Head Slob the Knob Smoke a Dick Smoke the White Owl Suck a Bondini Suck Dick Suck Off Suck the Sugar-Stick Sucky-Fucky Swallow a Sword Swing on It Tongue Job Worship At the Altar Wring It Dry ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/15 "2000-03-21T15:26:00Z")
- bobbing for apples - getting a Lewinsky * * * “Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known” - Michel Gyquem de Montaigne ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/16 "2000-03-21T15:34:00Z")
Heh – I remember hearing a bit in the news that after NBC’s _Law and Order_ used the phrase, “Giving a Lewinsky,” to describe the act in question, Monica’s father complained to the network. And I remember Leno’s sardonic observation, “Yes, it’s a shame how **NBC** sullied the good name of Lewinsky, huh?” - Rick ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/17 "2000-03-21T15:36:00Z")
Okay, folks. I know many of you can’t resist the funny way out, so let me put it this way – In my mind, it’s OK to say in mixed company: “I enjoy making love to my wife.” It’s not OK to say “She gives good head”; “She gobbles the knob great”; or “She gives a good blow job.” There **has** to be a less coarse term which is close in meaning. Or maybe I’m just out in left field. Are women offended by the term “blow job”? I’ve never heard one use the phrase… even if they were “orally gifted”? Is acceptance of the term a function of willingness to perform the act maybe? * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/18 "2000-03-21T16:23:00Z")
I have never found a need for a euphamism but since you might ask a lady if you may tickle her uvula. I’m astonished that you forgot what your recruiter told you: _It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure_. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/19 "2000-03-21T16:27:00Z")
hows about _I enjoy being orally pleasured by my wife_ (or I enjoy orally pleasing my wife) * * * Sure, when … “OINK FLAP OINK FLAP” ----well I’ll be damned! ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021/20 "2000-03-21T16:27:00Z")
Damn, you guys are going to get me fired. I was reading this thread and laughing hysterically. * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemism-for-b-w-j-b/15021.md?page=2)