# Euphemisms for poo and the act of pooping **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689 "2004-07-12T13:03:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/1 "2004-07-12T13:03:09Z")
Well, I’ve got some uttlerly mundane and unenjoyable errands to run this morning. By the time I get home, I’ll need some heavy duty giggles to balance out the day. And what is the best giggle starter? That’s right, bodily functions! What better way to survive a Monday than to think of your favorite phrases for evacuating your bowels. So lay it on me, guys! (Uh… not literally) I’m sure this has been discussed many times in the past, but hey we’ve got some newbies (myself included) that may like to contribute. I’ll start: Poo- Cornback Rattler For cats: Cigars For dogs: Dog Logs Doing the deed- Launch a rocket (personal fave) Grow a tail Have a superb day, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/2 "2004-07-12T13:33:04Z")
The act of: I have to visit the Pope. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/3 "2004-07-12T13:46:18Z")
Somehow, my sister-in-law has the rest of the family calling the act “taking a manly”. I’m not sure why, but it stuck. The nickname stuck, not the poo. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/4 "2004-07-12T14:05:08Z")
Favorite Simpson’s euphanism - ‘Blast a Dookie’. And, of course, living with rabits we deal with ‘bunny balls’ all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/5 "2004-07-12T15:15:57Z")
Hack a loaf blow mud release the prisoner(s) feed the toilet monster ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/6 "2004-07-12T15:24:03Z")
When I have to go to the bathroom, I say “excuse me.” If someone is so unwise as to ask where I’m going, my response is, “Where even the emperor must go on foot.” ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/7 "2004-07-12T16:03:12Z")
My husband’s latest favorite is: “Laying a Dirt Snake” ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/8 "2004-07-12T16:05:02Z")
My favorite is transanal meditation. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/9 "2004-07-12T16:09:30Z")
‘Movin’ the mail’ ---
**Author:** ![Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayfield_St.Cloud)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/10 "2004-07-12T16:33:28Z")
Well, ever since I read [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258571), I’ve been kind of fond of “Dropping the Partridge kids off at the pool” myself. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/11 "2004-07-12T16:37:34Z")
Damn you, **Mayfield**! I was hoping no one had beat to me ta that one. . . 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/12 "2004-07-12T16:47:49Z")
**Revtim** , I wish my dad was still here. He was a mail clerk & would have loved that one! He was a Master Pooper, too. But he was more into “Spackling the porceline.” And **matt** , that may be the most elegant one I’ve ever heard. Dig it! **Inigo** - Dad used to say, “You know what a fart is, don’t you? It’s the lonely cry of an imprisoned turd.” \ All the responses are great! I’m thinking I should get my calligraphy set out and write them all down. You know, so I can frame it for the loo! Ahhhh… This is just what I needed. I knew I could count on the Dopers to make me laugh. I love you guys. _snif_ KEEP 'EM COMING!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayfield_St.Cloud)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/13 "2004-07-12T17:03:12Z")
> [@Moody Bastard](#): > > Damn you, **Mayfield**! I was hoping no one had beat to me ta that one. . . 😉 Finally, after only 15 months, I won a race to the reply button! Is there a prize? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/14 "2004-07-12T17:17:44Z")
Why yes! You’ll receive an ASSortment of fine [gifts](http://www.mintyass.com) in the mail. Thanks for playing! ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/15 "2004-07-12T17:18:15Z")
I’ve always been fond of “dropping a deuce.” ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/16 "2004-07-12T17:34:53Z")
I have to take the dog outside for tootsie rolls and lemonade. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/17 "2004-07-12T18:18:51Z")
Dog poo in the yard - yard cookies ---
**Author:** ![Sisyphus\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sisyphus\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sisyphus_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/18 "2004-07-12T19:30:51Z")
Laying cable. Depth charging. Painting the porcelain. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/19 "2004-07-12T20:08:28Z")
Between my wife and me, we announce to the other that defecation is imminent with the phrase, “Do you need to pee?” (Because the room will shortly become uninhabitable.) If we’re with company, the code phrase is “yellow alert,” or “red alert” if there’s less warning. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/20 "2004-07-12T20:20:19Z")
I should clarify, the “room” that will soon be uninhabitable is the **bath** room. Not the room we’re in. Because that would be, y’know, icky. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689.md?page=2)