# Euphemisms for poo and the act of pooping **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689 "2004-07-12T13:03:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/21 "2004-07-12T20:28:49Z")
My favorite euphemisms for fecal matter, from the [unquestioned masters of all things scatological](http://www.mindspring.com/~squicker/at.html): - Grogan: the basic turd - Brown Trout: specifically one that is interacting with plumbing or sewers. Often tapered at one end and wide at the other. - Dirtsnake: a particularly long, sinuous one - Fecolith: large and devoid of moisture; usually painful - Scatberg: Floating with 10% above the surface by volume. A hazard to maritime traffic. - Scatman: A particularly ugly and anthropomorphic one. - Della Reese: As above, but larger, with prominent bulges causing one to holler incoherently, and not necessarily melodically. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/22 "2004-07-12T20:43:40Z")
> [@bughunter](#): > > - Fecolith: large and devoid of moisture; usually painful > - Scatberg: Floating with 10% above the surface by volume. A hazard to maritime traffic. ROFLMAO Oh man, those are great! I just remembered some more: Snake Race- When you look down and see many skinny, curved turds collected at the bottom of the bowl. For some reason they usually are a weird orangish color. Ass Vomit, Poop Soup- Diarrhea, of course The Scotsman uses “Pebbledashing the bowl” and “Skitters” for diarrhea. I think they’re British terms, and not unique to just him. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/23 "2004-07-12T20:58:37Z")
Just want to point you at this thread of [poo synonyms](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=203044). ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/24 "2004-07-12T21:13:12Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Just want to point you at this thread of [poo synonyms](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=203044). Sank you, dahling. Excellent list! ---
**Author:** ![Moe\_Mentum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@Moe\_Mentum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe_Mentum)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/25 "2004-07-12T21:18:33Z")
At the risk of turning this into a political thread, I have to mention my all time favorite piece of bathroom graffiti. Here I sit, buns a flexin’ Givin’ birth to another Texan. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/26 "2004-07-12T21:36:41Z")
Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostage. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/27 "2004-07-12T21:36:45Z")
“Excuse me, I have to take the Browns to the Superbowl” ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/28 "2004-07-12T21:49:11Z")
Honk out a dirtsnake Pinch a loaf (or if you’re feeling continental Pinch a Baguette) Bombing China Laying cable Press an Avril Lavigne CD ---
**Author:** ![Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@Mayfield\_St.Cloud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayfield_St.Cloud)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/29 "2004-07-12T21:54:23Z")
> [@Moe Mentum](#): > > At the risk of turning this into a political thread, I have to mention my all time favorite piece of bathroom graffiti. > > Here I sit, buns a flexin’ > Givin’ birth to another Texan. Whoa, I like that concept. Let’s see if it can be regionally adapted in time for football season: I groan, and strain and then, let fly and Behold! create a new Buckeye So, let’s see, what rhymes with Badger? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/30 "2004-07-12T22:24:58Z")
If you are interested in poo, these three threads are classics. > **[Ere you left the stall...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=218793)** > > This is directed towards those numerous nasty jerks who evidently can’t be bothered with being sanitary in public; i.e, those who refuse to flush the commode when finished. \*Ere you left the stall a moment past Did you think to flush? In the name... [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150992&highlight=deer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150992&highlight=deer) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile+rectum](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile+rectum) ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/31 "2004-07-12T22:44:36Z")
My husband and I picked this one up from an otherwise forgotten book we both read: **Grumpy** , as in, “I have to take a grumpy.” ---
**Author:** ![beltbuckle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@beltbuckle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beltbuckle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/32 "2004-07-12T22:59:31Z")
My favorite is “pushing brown”. As in “I have to go push some brown”, or “there I was, pushing brown, when a car drove through the bathroom wall.” ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/33 "2004-07-12T23:10:59Z")
“What can Brown do for you?” My own euphemism for the act is “morning constitutional.” I am on a very regular schedule. As long as I’m not travelling, I defecate quite reliably every morning after my first cup of coffee… So, I’ll grab my second cup, tuck a newspaper under my arm, and declare that it’s “time for my morning constitutional.” Unfortunately, my morning constitutional sometimes asserts itself at inconvenient moments, like when I’m late for work and drink my first cup of coffee in the car. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/34 "2004-07-13T05:52:56Z")
When I was first dating my husband (19 years ago), he introduced my younger siblings (ages 4-14) to the phrase “breaking off a piece.” Siblings were delighted with the new saying, mother was completely grossed out and forbade its use. (I still think it’s funny, myself.) But boy, was it hilarious to all of us when Kit Kat began the “break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar” ads! I’ve also been known to say I needed to “shake a tit.” And of course, there were the standards–lay cable, coil up a rope, pinch a loaf, etc. One of my favorite dumb jokes is about turds–why are they tapered at both ends? To keep your butthole from slamming shut. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/35 "2004-07-13T05:59:25Z")
One I almost forgot!! It seems that whenever I and my family try to chat online, our bowels cramp in reaction. This is so common to us that we simply refer to it as “the malady.” And it’s not like the usual need to poop. This is “gotta go NOW, move, move, MOVE, before I mess myself!” Because this affliction was first apparent in our mother, we sisters have also been known to call it “our inheritance.” ---
**Author:** ![Denis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@Denis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Denis)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/36 "2004-07-13T07:39:22Z")
What a shitty thread. Oh. “Have a strain” “Unleash a load of fury” “Meatloaf” And a score of “10” in the poo category is when one turd goes around the perimeter of the bowl and you come clean with one wipe. Points deducted if it’s a bowl clogger. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/37 "2004-07-13T12:19:32Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150992&highlight=deer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150992&highlight=deer) Ok, this one made me realize something. I’m in love with **lieu** , and I want to bear his children. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/38 "2004-07-13T14:58:02Z")
We used to have a shit-eating greyhound named Bunny. Since then, all cat-turds are Bunny Munchies. Also, when my brother and I were little, we referred to those things as “stinkies”. The use of the word stinky as a noun still causes me to giggle uncontrollably! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/39 "2004-07-13T15:43:10Z")
_Excuse me while I go recaulk the shitter._ ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689/40 "2004-07-13T16:10:56Z")
> [@Proudest Monkey](#): > > My husband and I picked this one up from an otherwise forgotten book we both read: Grumpy, as in, “I have to take a grumpy.” I say this sometimes, although the correct usage is “I have to pump a grumpy” Don’t know where I picked it up but i’ve used it for years. My grandfather referred to the act as grunting, particularly when applied to animals. For example, upon one’s return from walking the dog, he’d ask: “Did he grunt?” Grunt also referred to the poop itself, as in “that’s a big pile of grunt!” or “don’t step in the grunt” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-poo-and-the-act-of-pooping/254689.md?page=3)