# Euphemisms for the act of fucking **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 18, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718 "2002-05-18T18:00:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/1 "2002-05-18T18:00:02Z")
Since the language in this isn’t all that great, and I assume it’ll only get worse, I tossed this in the pit. In another thread I’m talking about the act of fucking, but in it I dance around the word like I’m afraid of it. Why? Beats me. But some of the euphemisms I’ve heard for the ‘act’ have completely cracked me up- bouncing the brillo, shagging the fly, harvesting the honey from an angry bee… to name a few. But I know there are others out there even more creative and funny. So, share ‘em if you know ‘em. ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/2 "2002-05-18T20:05:44Z")
The one that always cracked me up the most was “porking”. [sub]hehehehe![/sub] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/3 "2002-05-18T20:12:25Z")
Boinking, doin’ the nasty, invading the pearly gates, Being John Malkovich (okay, maybe not that last one)… ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/4 "2002-05-18T20:25:00Z")
To quote a watershed motion picture of the Reagan era, “giving the hot beef injection”. Hiding the salami. Taking [his] temperature. I’ve always like the Shakespearean “making the beast with two backs.” Body cavity search with a blunt probe. jayjay ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/5 "2002-05-18T20:25:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*…Being John Malkovich (okay, maybe not that last one)… \*\* Yes, but from now on, I’m going to use it. “Riding my lady to Pleasureville” is one I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/6 "2002-05-18T21:04:49Z")
“Taking the pigskin bus to tuna-town.” “Makin’ Flippy-Floppy.” ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/7 "2002-05-18T21:05:26Z")
When I saw this thread, I was happy to actually have something to contribute. Not from personal experience, but from one of my books, _The Odd Index_ by Stephen J. Spignesi. > [@](#): > > 228 Euphemisms for Sexual Intercourse > > Adam and Eve it > be in a woman’s beef > be up to one’s balls > beat someone with an ugly stick > boink someone > bone someone > bop someone > bump bellies > bunny fuck > bury the weenie > buzz the brillo > cream someone > dance the buttock jig > dance the matrimonial polka > dance the mattress jig > dip your wick > do a bit of front door work > do a dicky dunk > do a dive in the dark > do a four-legged frolic > do a grumble and grunt > do a lewd infusion > do boom-boom > do dirty work at the crossroads > do horizontal exercises > do some ladies’ tailoring > do some nose painting > do some rump work > do some twat raking > do target practice > do the act of darkness > do the bone dance > do the chores > do the featherbed jig > do the horizontal hula > do the naughty > do the ugly > drive home > eat cauliflower > eat hymeneal sweets > enjoy a flesh session > exchange spit > fan someone > feed the dummy > fit end to end > fix her plumbing > flop in the hay > get a belly full of marriage pudding > get a pair of balls against your butt > get a shove in your blind eye > get into someone’s pants > get Jack in the orchard > get oats from someone > get your ashes hauled > get your chimney swept[t out > get your end wet > get your hair cut > get your leather stretched > get your nuts cracked > get your oil changed > give a hole to hide in > give a woman a shot > give hard for soft > gibe her a hosing > give her a past > give her the business > give juice for jelly > give pussy a taste of cream > give someone a stab > give someone the works > give the dog a bone > go bed-pressing > go belly-to-belly > go fishing > go like a belt-fed motor > go like a rat up a drainpipe > go like a rat up a rhododendron > go on bush patrol > go rump-splitting > go star-gazing on your back > go to town > go to work with someone > goose someone > grease the wheel > grind your tool > hammer someone > haul your ashes > have a bit of curly greens > have a bit of fish > have a bit of fun > have a bit of giblet pie > have a bit of pork > have a bit of skirt > have a bit of split mutton > have a bit of sugar stick > have a bit of summer cabbage > have a bit of the creamstick > have a blanket drill > have a bun in the oven > have a hot roll with cream > have a joy ride > have a lady feast > have a navel engagement > have a nooner > have a Northwest cocktail > have a piece of tail > have a poke > have a roll in the hay > have a squeeze and a squirt > have a turn on your back > have gin on the rocks > have hot pudding for supper > have live sausage for supper > hide the salami > hide the sausage > horizontalize > hose someone > hump someone > impale someone > introduce Charlie > invade someone > jab someone > jazz someone > jiggle someone > join paunches > juice someone > jump (on) someone’s bones > lay some pipe > lie feet up > lift a leg on a woman > light the lamp > look at the ceiling over a man’s shoulder > lose the match and pocket the stake > lubricate someone > make baskets > make ends meet > make feet for children’s shoes > make her grunt > make the chimney smoke > mingle bloods > mingle limbs > mix your peanut butter > mount someone > nail someone > nail two bellies together > nibble someone > open up to someone > parallel park > peel your best end > phallicize someone > plant a man > plant the oats > play at in-and-out > play at tops-and-bottoms > play cars and garages > play doctor > play hide the weenie > play hospital > play night baseball > play on the hair court > play pickle-me, tickle-me > play the first game ever played > play the organ > play the trombone > [lay tiddlywinks > plow someone > plug someone > poke someone > pop it in > pork someone > post a letter > pound someone > pray with the knees upward > pump someone > put four quarters on the spit > put the bee in the hive > put the boots tiddlywinks someone > put the devil into hell > ram someone > ride someone > ride the hobby horse > roller skate > rub bacons > sacrifice to Venus > saw off a chunk > screw someone > shake a skin coat > shake the sheets > shoot between wind and water > shoot your wad > shtupp someone > sink it in > sink the soldier > slam someone > slip someone the hot beef injection > smoke someone > spear the bearded clam > split someone > stab a woman in the thigh > stain someone > stretch leather > suck the sugar-stick > take a belly ride > take a trip up the Rhine > take a turn in the stubble > take a turn on Shooter Hill > Take Nebuchadnezzar out to grass > take the starch out of someone > taste someone > tear off a piece > tell a bedtime story > thread the needle > throw a leg over > tie the true lover’s knot > trade a bit of hard for a bit of soft > trim the buff > trot out your pussy > varnish your cane > wank someone > wet your bottom > wet your wick > whitewash someone > wind up the clock > work out > work the hairy oracle > wriggle navels > yield your favors > zig-zag someone ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/8 "2002-05-18T21:17:22Z")
Bumping uglies ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/9 "2002-05-18T21:33:11Z")
Cutting the rug. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/10 "2002-05-18T21:58:04Z")
**The beast with two backs** is a favorite of mine, as well. Another favorite: **The eight-legged aardvark**. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/11 "2002-05-18T22:34:59Z")
Thundering through shepherd’s grove on a pogo stick. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/12 "2002-05-18T22:43:28Z")
Taking to the dinosaurs on the big white phone… oh, wait that’s _puking_. So sorry, carry on… ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/13 "2002-05-18T22:45:17Z")
And that should be “talking” sorry again… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/14 "2002-05-18T23:44:22Z")
Worshipping the beautiful goddess of Lurve. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/15 "2002-05-19T00:05:38Z")
“Riding the baloney pony” is one of my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/16 "2002-05-19T02:20:12Z")
What’s sexual intercourse? 😕 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/17 "2002-05-19T06:40:42Z")
Push, push in the bush small “b” completely generic bush, that is ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/18 "2002-05-19T07:17:46Z")
“having a poke” “horizontal bop” “doing the nasty” “an appointment with a freelance gynocologist” “throwing a hot dog down the well” ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/19 "2002-05-19T07:52:16Z")
Michael Ellis beat me to “bumping uglies,” so I’ll have to go with “knockin’ boots.” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718/20 "2002-05-19T12:22:12Z")
Making love. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for-the-act-of-fucking/109718.md?page=2)