# Euphemisms for... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609 "2007-05-18T15:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/21 "2007-05-18T18:10:45Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] How about an Elephant [/QUOTE] Heavy duty mouse trampling device. Pencil. ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/22 "2007-05-18T18:16:24Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] Heavy duty mouse trampling device. [/QUOTE] Ha! Pencil: Cleavage of graphite demonstrator. (OK, only funny to geologists). Ummm…(this _is_ fun!)…the next word is soap. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/23 "2007-05-18T18:18:16Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] Heavy duty mouse trampling device. Pencil. [/QUOTE] Stress Reliever for the Cubicle Farm Denizen. Pork Chop ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/24 "2007-05-18T18:38:51Z")
Soap = Personal hygiene facilitation fluid/solid Pork chop = Edible porcine flank derivative Condom? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/25 "2007-05-18T18:43:59Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Condom? [/QUOTE] Reproduction delivery inhibitor Shoehorn ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/26 "2007-05-18T18:48:41Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Shoehorn [/QUOTE] Pedal insertion assistive device Next: **Telemarketer** ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/27 "2007-05-18T18:52:48Z")
[QUOTE=dwc1970] Pedal insertion assistive device Next: **Telemarketer** [/QUOTE] Telemarketer: Dire Disembodied Verbal Demonic Parasite Web Designer ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/28 "2007-05-18T19:03:55Z")
Web Designer: Arachnid structural-engineering consultant. Congress. ---
**Author:** ![Like\_Fry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@Like\_Fry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Like_Fry)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/29 "2007-05-18T19:05:20Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Web Designer: Arachnid structural-engineering consultant. Congress. [/QUOTE] Device for turning hot air into bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![xnylder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbce88/32.png) [@xnylder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xnylder)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/30 "2007-05-18T19:07:48Z")
Don’t you mean, male bovine fecal matter? Toaster. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/31 "2007-05-18T19:11:26Z")
Anyone who read Bloom County knows that a trash collector is a “waste management artisan.” Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/32 "2007-05-18T19:21:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Anyone who read Bloom County knows that a trash collector is a “waste management artisan.” Sheesh. [/QUOTE] Sheesh: Epithet Indicating Peeved Exasperation. 😃 Weed Whacker. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/33 "2007-05-18T19:28:14Z")
Weed Whacker: Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated friend. Handjob. ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/34 "2007-05-18T19:35:18Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Weed Whacker: Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated friend. Handjob. [/QUOTE] Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated palmist friend. Clock. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/35 "2007-05-18T19:45:06Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated palmist friend. Clock. [/QUOTE] Tick-tock machine. (I’m uncreative today. Shut up.) Looking at porn websites while at work. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/36 "2007-05-18T19:47:44Z")
[QUOTE=xnylder] Toaster. [/QUOTE] Portable bread-heating device. Another victim of simulposts: **Warranty manager/clerk** **What Exit?** : Your definition of “telemarketer” is actually more of a [dysphemism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphemism), or even a cacophemism. Then again, it _is_ a more pleasant description of telephone solicitors than the one you’d have posted were this a **Pit** thread… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/37 "2007-05-18T19:51:16Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Looking at porn websites while at work. [/QUOTE] A quick trip to visit the unemployment fairy. Walking the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/38 "2007-05-18T19:56:42Z")
Spousal-independence therapy Colonoscopy ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/39 "2007-05-18T20:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=Subterraneanus] Spousal-independence therapy Colonoscopy [/QUOTE] Hyperinvasive internal dignity extractor. Baseball ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609/40 "2007-05-18T20:15:55Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Hyperinvasive internal dignity extractor. Baseball [/QUOTE] Life Football [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/euphemisms-for/404609.md?page=3)