I would have thought it would be the haircuts. Many Europeans from the continent look like they cut each other’s hair, whereas many Americans have that homogenous Supercuts Special.
Well, Isosleepy, if you want to start a thread called “how do you spot English tourists?”, you’ll find me contributing to it with some extremely nasty things to say about the majority of my fellow countrymen on holiday. But that’s not what this thread’s about.
Furthermore, have you not noticed that many of the contributors to the thread are themselves American? As for the “they liberated Europe” thing: of course, it has not been forgotten. But that doesn’t mean that there can’t be criticism of current foreign policy. And I have no idea why that should have any bearing on describing tourists.
But jjimm! If it weren’t for the Americans, all the people in Ireland would be speaking German now!
Uh, wait a sec.
Well to be honest, I reckon if the UK hadn’t been helped by the US, and had fallen, then Ireland would have gone next… Or become DeValera’s version of the Vichy Republic; but that’s another thread altogether…
Ireland invaded? But they are neutral! Wait a minute, so were we. 
Very interesting stuff! When I was living in England, the main difference I noticed between Americans and the British was that Americans wore much brighter colors. British women seemed restricted to a palette of black, white, gray, and black.
-white runners ALWAYS
-white socks sporty socks
-usually overweight
-women: very very big hairdo’s
-men: baseballcaps
-very badly fitting clothes, especially their jeans
I have to say, though, that I find most American tourists very friendly. Also incredibly naive, most times.
Well I am a Eurodoper and I seem to melt into the local population everywhere in Europe, at least wherever I go the locals talk to me in their own language and come to me and ask directions. I decided to turn this into my advantage and getting paid for said instructions and I am now a tourist guide.
My observations on American tourists, and classification guide:
Americans tend to be bigger than other nations, esp. in the rear end region. Checkered shirts are also a good hint. It is always more difficult with younger people to “nationify” them, but older americans seem to be more fond of bright (even garish) colours than other nations.
Americans are usually very nice and most often very polite, but can be very loud and are not at all afraid to ask questions and not shy about expressing their opions on whatever is nearby. Actually most Americans are well aware of the loud and stupid American tourist stereotype and sometimes after asking a question become concerned that the question was really stupid and ask if they’re acting like stupid American tourists (which they usually don’t). Some AT (American tourists) are very proud of being American and think everything everywhere else is just crap and everything is much better home, but these are fortunately few and far between. Other seem to think that everybody understands english, it´s just a matter of speaking very slow and LOUD. Every now and then you get a really stupid question from AT (like where do the whales come ashore to feed?) or very strange comments (like after explaining landscape with reference to erupions, continental drift, glaciation etc, they say: that’s all wrong, God made this all). AT sometimes act like they own the place and that can be really irritating.
The good thing about AT is that they don´t start singing when they’re drunk. And if they are happy they don´t hesitate to say so and most often leave a token of their appreciation. Most often they are very nice people and curious about what is going on around them.
ps as to spotting other nations:
coldfire: many of you dutch have a very distinctive gait and soon run (no pun intended) into problem if the surface is not absolutely level and rough ground (esp rough lava fields) can reduce a busload of DT from being happily pointing the camera in all directions to almost crawling and crying.
auRa: the finnish accent is a dead giveaway and now I can imitate it so well that fins don’t believe that I’m not finnish. And you such at drinking
Wait, you mean that nice young man didn’t sell me the blarney stone? But he was so helpful, and he took my money and everything!
Heh, that’s priceless. 
And very true. The obvious reason might be that our land is almost completely flat, and very urbanised - it’s hard to find a piece of nature to walk around in, really. But what also adds to that mix is that we’re naturally clumsy (I mean, latinos we ain’t - levelheadedness and logic are two highly admired traits here, and they seem to correlate negatively with composure and sexyness), and also extremely tall, meaning our centers of gravity are higher.
But yeah, we get vertigo if we’re on a speed bump.
What was that saying, again? Oh, yeah! "Somebody feeling a little defensive/bitter perhaps? " 
Coldfire, I have to completely and utterly reject your assertion of Dutch people not being sexy. More importantly, and more fortunately, so does my (American) wife. I was mildly indignant about the whole American tourist thing, but this is hitting close to home. My original home, anyway…
Met vriendelijke groeten,
Isosleepy
hehe, nice one
I didn’t really mean naive as in they can get conned quite easily, but they do not seem to know a lot about the diversity of European culture and the complexity of its history.
But as Pez pointed out: they are very willing to learn, and very interested in what goes on around them.
Also, something i used to find very endearing about American Men (I have a suspicion i’m talking about AM from the southern states), but now actually find a bit annoying, is their: Ma’am this, Ma’am that.
I know they’re doing it because they want to be polite, but i always have to fight the urge to shake 'em and shout: I’m not THAT old, Mistah!
Hey Isosleepy (is dat een vertaling van Slaapkopje?), I believe Coldfire expressed himself a bit more nuanced. Read it over: as long as you’re not levelheaded and logical you should be doing fine.
Vriendelijke groeten,
TTT
I would agree with that interpretation of naive elfje.
On Friday I was approached by a very polite and friendly American tourist who asked me where the art museum was - there are bucket loads of them in London, and trying to help I asked what sort of art he was interested in - modern, sculpture, photography, design, portraits, British art etc.
His response was ‘wherever the Americans usually go’!?!? I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that so suggested the National Gallery at Trafalgar Square, which was just down the road. I imagine it’s a bit like going to Washington and asking someone where the museum is!
Previous experience via my American friends has been similar, I took one past Downing Street (where the Prime Minister lives). I first said ‘that’s where Tony Blair lives’ and he had no idea who that was. I suspect that might be different now though. Anyway, once he got over the shock of such a small place he was very interested in the history of it and keen to learn a bit about British politics.
And for what it’s worth, here’s how to spot European tourists in New York.
- they are smoking. Usually at the next table in the restaurant, despite the huge no-smoking sign. When asked by the waiter to put out their cigarettes, they make surly comments about stupid Americans.
- they assume no one can speak anything BUT English. Boy, is THAT a fatal assumption in NYC! Fun to listen to a whole conversation next to you in French or German then murmur subtly …“je ne suis pas d’accord, monsieur”…and watch them wince.
- they are wearing black.
- they are wearing sunglasses, indoors, at night.
Outside of New York City, they are found hollering at the cashier at the Very Local Savings & Loan because she has no way to change their money. See, it’s a Huge Country, and we really don’t ever use Euros in Cincinnati, so…
Just kidding, actually. Most European tourists are nice folks; like Americnas abroad they are suffering from a syndrome I have characterized as Overseas Idiocy; we all seem like morons in another country.
Like finally realizing those big red oval things in England are the mailboxes! Like finally realizing that the French baguette you buy is NOT going to be wrapped up so you can take it home. Like finally realizing that to go to the Statue of Liberty you must TAKE A BOAT–the subway doesn’t stop there.
Whats the deal with Europians and tattoos? I noticed the past few times I’ve been in France that nobody really has them. I wasn’t sure if I was getting looks because I have an extra head, or beacuse I have a lot of ink on my arms.
Ooh my goodness, yes. The Dutch boys are gorgeous ::drool::
Sadly, I haven’t figured out how to go about meeting them yet, but perhaps I just need to talk louder to attract attention
I can spot them by their skinny, white, blue-veined legs in a pair of shorts, and sandals with shin-high black socks - they’re the only ones looking up.
Just a suggestion, but:
Step 1: Move to Amsterdam.
Step 2: Look for the people who aren’t girls or tourists.
Step 3: Say hello to them.