Well, he was technically American. 
severin: While working an event in Trafalgar Square last summer, I had some English tourists ask me where the National Gallery was. Some people just can’t read a map, I think.
I had the pleasure to make a quick tour of north central Europe a couple of years ago. My brother-in-law and his wife live in The Hague and took us to Belgium, France, Luxembourg and Germany, as well as a tour through the Netherlands. As we all spoke English with an American accent, I assume that it was obvious that we were American, but not necessarily tourists. After all, my brother-in-law and his wife have lived in the Netherlands for four years and have not lost their ability to speak English (American or otherwise). My brother-in-law is Texan and, although he is well over six feet tall, is very soft spoken. His wife on the other hand, who is American born but of immediate Indian heritage, is very gregarious and can be rather loud. So, the accent is not necessarily indicative of being a tourist. I think it was more that they looked at home while we looked as if we had never seen such splendors before. After all, although there is nothing as beautiful as the Grand Canyon, you’re not going to find a thousand old cathedral year (magnificent or otherwise) in the States.
The camera might have been a giveaway, but I saw many other non-American tourists carrying cameras. It was the Americans who were the ones taking pictures of the open urinal troughs in the subways.
Clothing might have been a red flag, as many Americans seemed to be under the impression that summer temperatures in many parts of Europe are similar to those in the U.S. Let me tell you, ain’t nothin’ like wearing shorts while walking along the beaches of the North Sea in June. Checking the weather forecasts before leaving the States didn’t seem to help us, as they seemed to predict moderate to high temperatures throughout the areas that we were to visit. I guess Northern Europe just feels colder than one might otherwise expect.
We found that printed American t-shirts were different than those found in Europe. While ours might have “Hillfinger” printed across the chest, we saw teen-age girls in the malls wearing t-shirts emblazoned with “I’m Fucking Sexy!” I don’t think that they were American Tourists. While shopping at the mall we picked up a sweatshirt for my son because of the unexpected chilly weather. The sweatshirt had “Oklahoma University” printed across the chest. There is no Oklahoma University. University of Oklahoma and Oklahoma State University? Yes. OU? Yes. He now seemed to look very European.
I noticed a difference in hairstyles as well. American boys liked a lot of mousse in their hair but they were outdone by the urban Europeans wearing a variety of fluorescent rooster-comb-spiked styles. Overall, both American men and boys seemed to wear their hair shorter than the Europeans.
Dutch men seemed to enjoy wearing mid thigh length khaki shorts while American men wore Khaki shorts that stopped just above their knees. The Dutch men also seemed to enjoy wearing shorts in windy, 50° F conditions. My brother-in-law told me that no matter the weather, if it was summer in the Netherlands, the locals were going to enjoy it while it lasted.
Dutch men were generally much larger than American men. Over six feet tall. Well over 200 pounds. They would look you right in the eye and smile. The French men were less than six feet tall and thin. They would look at their feet and frown. Germans looked you in the eyes and frowned. Luxembourg residents were business-like but very nice. Belgians were just rude. I saw Americans exhibiting a variety of these traits, so I guess it would be hard to tell.
I guess that if you meet a person in Europe who speaks English in a somewhat phonetic manner, is dressed as if they have been living out of a small suitcase for a week, is interested in photographically capturing the memories of a lifetime, is trying his or her best to order a pizza without a soft fried egg on top, and is a bit grumpy from the everyday headaches of travel, then I guess you’ve met an American.
Guess the Barbadians are too, in a sense.
I get the “where is it?” people all the time. I have been asked for the Empire State Building at the SE corner of 33rd and 5th (hint - look at the NW corner - that building with the monkey on it), and more recently by someone from the Raleigh office where Broadway was. (We had been discussing it) We were in the restaurant at the Renaissance hotel. Corner table. Huge windows opening onto Times Square (classic view, btw) - right above (30’?) the TKTS booth. Ads for shows, etc everywhere. Told him turn around. Look down. Bingo.
I stumbled upon this thread after hearing of a rumor that Canadians could even spot Americans by the way they walk… which I’m trying to pay attention to and form my own opinion…
I did find one thing extremely interesting… I have traveled extensively and I live in an American tourist trap as well… Most every complaint I see here about American tourists (loud, rude, ignorant, oblivious to their real surroundings, horrendously dressed, etc…) are all the same complaints that we make here about all tourists (American included) in an American tourist town…
Perhaps this is just the mentality of people that travel to well known tourism hot spots and see the obligatory sights and shop in the cheesy stores we put there…
I live and work in Retail in the American south and one of my favorite overheard exchanges with a local and a tourist was this one:
Tourist: “Where are all the hillbillies? You know like on Beverly Hillbillies? Aren’t they supposed to live here?”
Sales Clerk: “Well, sir. Today, they are wearing their good clothes, standing on the other side of these counters, and taking your money.”
It’s not our taste; it is that it is impossible to find simple frames at the optometrist here. They want to charge you $200 for the frames and carry noting under $100. To justify that price, they are always very fancy. I wish I could find simple wire frames. (I have a complicated prescription and online ordering is not in the cards.)
When I was stationed in Germany with the US Air Force, a friend and I made a trip to the Netherlands from our base. Coming back by train, we were sitting across from each other, and both of us were reading. A lovely older German lady sat down next to me, and after watching us for a while, she asked me, “Excuse me, are you English?” When I replied that no, we were American, she was shocked. “American! But you’re so quiet!”
I was vacationing in Seville, Spain, and was staying at a very nice hotel. I was having breakfast and a loud group of Americans were sitting near me. As they got up to leave, all of them but one headed for the door, while one woman went in the opposite direction. The group shouted loudly, “Hey, we’re going this way!” And the lone woman shouted, “I’ll meet you outside. I have to go back to the room to pee.” I wanted to crawl under my table.
There probably would have been public-access restrooms in that same floor…
Not something you can see, but I’ve read/heard complaints from Americans about the lack of public restrooms in areas where I see public-access restrooms everywhere. Apparently they had never thought they could walk into a bar, restaurant or hotel and use the restroom (some locations will have “only for customers” signs, but you can always use it and then have something, and in any case it’s usually more of a “vagrants stay out” than a hard rule).
Ill-fitting clothes on people who aren’t dressed gangsta style; wearing outdoors clothes that Spaniards would consider “cleanup day clothing”; walking with no apparent consciousness of the people around them; walking until they reach their objective and then stopping suddenly without any previous slowing-down. Oh, and if you hear some idiot yelling “doesn’t anybody here speak my language?” - they not gonna be British 
For me it’s the men that stand out most:
- Hats. Particularly the men always seem to wear hats, often baseball caps, which you wouldn’t see on anyone over 16 in Europe.
- Clothing combo of big brand-new trainers (sneakers to you), chinos and either checked shirts or golf polos.
- Size, American men are both tall and wide.
- Ambling. Maybe it’s because they are on holiday, or maybe they come from a small town with a slow pace of life, but MAN, American tourists walk slowly.
And then there’s the volume thing. Americans don’t mind at all who can listen in to their conversations, they are happy to shout across train carriages, streets, restaurants. I was walking down the street the other day in my very touristy work city of Bath. Three American were walking, three abreast on the wide pavement and shouting at each other. At first I thought they were having a row, but no, just chatting about where to go for lunch.
Shoes, too. White sneakers are far more acceptable regular street wear here in North America than in Europe.
Edit: just like you mentioned under #2. My bad…
I live in a coastal town, filled with tourists, and in real life, american tourists, if anything, are too diverse racially and culturally to be as easy to spot as, say, Scandinavian tourists.
They still look pretty dorky on some of us old guys. I’ve reached that age where I don’t much care about looking dorky. It’s what’s inside that counts, right?
I learned a new expression as I was entering a public bathroom. Two Americans had gone in before me, behind me was their third friend. The one inside turned around and shouted THROUGH me. Come on in Miriam … It’s a THREE HOLER!!
How do you know that that is the case, if they are so difficult to spot? 
That’s the first time I’ve heard that, you should double check with a licensed physician.
Oh, I’ve met a couple. What I meant is that it’s next to impossible to tell at first sight., unlike tourists from smaller places, where there’s a similar weather in the whole place, similar clothing choices and similar mannerisms.
When my friends and I toured the UK a few years ago, I did my best not to fit the Ugly American stereotype. But, I
[ul]
[li]got busted for taking a picture of the crown jewels in the Tower of London.[/li][li]was told to take off my cap in St. Paul’s Cathedral.[/li][li]got obnoxious to a tour guide explaining how every UK resident effectively rents from the royal family. At least I *thought *that was what she was saying…[/li][li]almost pasted the Duke of a castle we visited. He goosed me from behind to get by, and I thought one of my friends was messing with me.[/li][/ul]
When I was in Paris in 2009, people kept thinking I was French.
- I wore a hat, but it was an Ascot cap I picked up in Paris.
- I wore a regular buttoned shirt and a beige jacket.
- I have white hair and a full beard about a half-inch long all around.
- I pronounce my French like a native (thank you, Madame Victoria!)
I had French and Germans come up to me in the street and start a conversation withh me in French.
-
A woman came up while I was sitting in the couryard of the Louvre and commented on a exhibition there. I didn’t catch it, so I summoned up my 40-year-old HS French and said, “Je suis Americain. Je ne parle pas francais tres bien.” She said, “Ah, vous parelez francais tres bien” and switched to English.
-
A group of German tourists came up to me and asked me “Ou est le Pont Neuf.” I had just come from there and tried to think of the directions, but muttered to myself, “Let’s see.” They immediately switched to English.
-
An American accidentally bumped into me and said “Excusez-moi.” How did I know he was American? Because no one in Paris used that phrase in that situation: it should have been"Pardon."
nm (damn zombie)
I had a similar experience in Iceland. Numerous European tourists asked me for directions, and in most retail interactions I was addressed in Icelandic. My traveling partner and I made a game of seeing who could get through the most interactions without our non-Icelandic cover being blown. I won handily. I’m sure the fact that he is of Pakistani descent had nothing to do with my victory.
I was only mistaken for Icelandic once while I was there, but I attribute it mostly to my being in Reykjavik on Culture Night where it felt like everyone in Iceland came into town to hang out.
I had two American girls stop me in Cordoba, Spain to ask for directions, starting off with, “Do you speak English?”