# Evan Almighty? ASS Almighty (Lousy movie PSA -- open spoilers)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [June 23, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099 "2007-06-23T04:16:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/21 "2007-06-23T06:46:41Z")
Absolutely. Just like **The Passion**. No controversy there at all.
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### Author:  [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/22 "2007-06-23T11:22:37Z")
This sounds like what I might expect from a typical Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams vehicle. Sad to see that Steve Carell is doing this crap.
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/23 "2007-06-23T11:31:33Z")
Sounds even stupider than I thought.
And thanks to the nostril-shaving scene in the ads, I had the bar set pretty low already. (Srsly…WTF was with that?)
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/24 "2007-06-23T12:10:54Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000]
Diogenes “The Best Movie Critic Evar” the Cynic.
[/QUOTE]
☹
And I thought I held that title for my reviews of NBC Sunday Night Movies such as Shark Attack and Locusts.
I still maintain that sending a teen girl down into shark-infested waters to fix a malfunctioning shark-repelling pod instead of pulling it up onto the boat is the worst plot device ever.
Or maybe it was hanging and then electrifying a bunch of tinfoil from a power line in Wichita to attract and electrocute every maneating locust in the country, from Maine to California, in a matter of three minutes.
Other than that, thanks, **Dio**. You just saved me $9 that I wouldn’t have spent anyway. And entertained me in the process.
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### Author:  [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/25 "2007-06-23T12:16:48Z")
I’ve seen the trailer to this approximately 1000 times. Since the trailer is supposed to be the funniest bits of a comedy, I already had a pretty good idea that this one was going to be a stinker of epic proportions.
I was really wondering how they were going to address the prickly fact of God killing everyone on earth. It sounds like it was easy, not at all!
I should be able to avoid seeing it at least until it comes out on DVD. I have a friend who loves bad comedies. I know that after he buys it, he’ll insist on showing me the ‘funny parts’. At least I won’t have to watch the whole thing.
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/26 "2007-06-23T14:22:53Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
1. Evan goes to Washington to be a Congressman. This is where we get the trite establishing scenes of the workaholic movie dad and the freshly scrubbed kids who moon around because dad’s always working and doesn’t have time to go hiking with them. A.) Who gives a FUCK and B.) They couldn’t have thought of anything more original than that? The screenwriters actually thought this would be fresh material? It’s family movie cliche #1. Also how many teenage boys actually agonize over not getting to spend every waking moment with their dads? None, that’s how many.
[/QUOTE]
One of John Madden’s favorite anecdotes: he resigned as head coach of the Raiders in 1980 because he was burned out and thought it would be great to take some time off with his family. What he found out pretty quickly was, his family was USED to him being away for 6 months a year, and had long ago adapted to it.
Nobody in his family was sitting aaround the house missing Daddy. His wife had her own business, and was working all day. His sons were teenagers, which meant they wanted to be with their friends, NOT hanging out with Dad.
Hence, Madden says, he was alone in the house sitting on his butt watching TV for months until CBS called and asked if he’d be interested in doing commentary.
At that point, his answer was, “YES!!! THANK YOU!!! Just get me the heck out of here!!!”
(Of course, Madden’s many detractors are probably reading this and wishing his kids had loved Dad just a bit more!)
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/27 "2007-06-23T14:30:40Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
This movie reportedly cost a lot of money to make
[/QUOTE]
Yes. In fact, it’s the most expensive comedy ever made, at a budget of $175 million. To put that in perspective, that’s how much it cost to make _Waterworld_.
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### Author:  [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/28 "2007-06-23T14:51:10Z")
Vooba. Vooba. _Ding!_
Just wanted to supply a little real ark humor.
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### Author:  [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/29 "2007-06-23T15:38:07Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
I forgot to mention one of the stupidest things of all. It’s never explained why it was necessary to put all these animals on the ark.
[/QUOTE]
The only explanation that would make any sense would be if they were the animals from the National Zoo, that had to be rescued from the dam break. That seems to be quite a reach, considering.
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### Author:  [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/30 "2007-06-23T15:59:49Z")
[QUOTE=ArizonaTeach]
Absolutely. Just like **The Passion**. No controversy there at all.
[/QUOTE]
What was controversial about The Passion of the Christ?
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### Author:  [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/31 "2007-06-23T16:04:12Z")
From the following website, I’ve taken a list (not quite up-to-date) of the most expensive movies ever made, adjusted for inflation to 2005 dollars:
> **[List of most expensive films](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_expensive_films)**
>
> Due to the secretive nature of Hollywood accounting, it is not clear which film is the most expensive film ever made. Star Wars: The Force Awakens officially holds the record with a net budget of $447 million (although it is possible that Avatar: The Way of Water costs more if its price tag is towards the upper-end of its reported $350–460 million production costs). The third and fourth Avengers films (Infinity War and Endgame) stand as the most expensive back-to-back film production, with comb...
Here’s the list:
War and Peace (1968) $500,000,000
Cleopatra (1963) $286,400,000
Spider-Man 3 (2007) $258,000,000
Titanic (1997) $247,000,000
Waterworld (1995) $229,000,000
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) $216,400,000
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) $210,000,000
Spider-Man 2 (2004) $210,000,000
King Kong (2005) $207,000,000
Superman Returns (2006) $204,000,000
Wild Wild West (1999) $203,400,000
Metropolis (1927) $200,000,000
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) $198,800,000
The 13th Warrior (1999) $190,700,000
Troy (2004) $184,300,000
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) $180,000,000
The Polar Express (2004) $172,100,000
Armageddon (1998) $171,100,000
Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) $170,900,000
Van Helsing (2004) $168,500,000
Superman (1978) $168,000,000
The Matrix Reloaded (2003) $162,800,000
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003) $162,000,000
The Matrix Revolutions (2003) $162,000,000
The Perfect Storm (2000) $161,800,000
Alexander (2004) $161,600,000
Poseidon (2006) $160,000,000
The World Is Not Enough (1999) $159,800,000
Godzilla (1998) $159,100,000
Stuart Little (1999) $157,400,000
Pearl Harbor (2001) $156,900,000
Die Another Day (2002) $156,000,000
Tarzan (1999) $155,800,000
Notice that many of them are generally considered to be hopeless wastes of money and others are considered to be so-so films that weren’t worth the huge budgets. Maybe the best policy for a filmgoer would be to find out the budget of a film before seeing it and forget about any film costing above a certain amount.
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### Author:  [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/32 "2007-06-23T16:21:55Z")
I myself wondered how they were going to get around the fact that God promised to not do another flood again in the Bible. I thought the rainbow was the symbol of His promise to not do that again. How did they handle that in the movie? Or did they just ignore it?
But maybe I’m misremembering. And I’m too lazy to go find my Bible. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/33 "2007-06-23T17:00:43Z")
[QUOTE=Tengu]
Sounds even stupider than I thought.
And thanks to the nostril-shaving scene in the ads, I had the bar set pretty low already. (Srsly…WTF was with that?)
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that scene pretty much told me I’d have no interest in seeing the movie.
Like Clockwork Jackal, I also wondered about the promise God made not to do another flood. I also wondered how a movie that seems to be a modern take on Noah’s story which had resulted in the deaths of most of the people on the planet could be a comedy.
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/34 "2007-06-23T17:08:34Z")
I saw Bruce Almighty. I rather liked it. I saw ads for Evan Almighty. It screamed “SAD ATTEMPT AT CREATING A FRANCHISE THAT’S GOING TO FAIL MISERABLY BECAUSE I SUCK.” Not that I needed the confirmation, nor was I planning on seeing it to find out for myself, but I’m glad I was right. Though after reading that brilliant expose, I don’t think I fully explored the depths to which it might suck.
But be thankful: At least he didn’t take you to see Epic Movie. I stopped watching about halfway through because it was just bad. Epically bad. Stab your eyes out with kebab skewers bad. It was even bad at self-parody. Everything was just totally phoned in. Even having read your review of Evan Almighty, I’d actually rather see that over Epic Movie.
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### Author:  [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/35 "2007-06-23T17:19:19Z")
Thanks for that entertaining review! It just confirms all my suspicions. I love Steve Carrell, and I even like some goofy bad movies like _Happy Gilmore_, but the trailers for this just made me cringe.
First, I thought _Bruce Almighty_ was really weak. What was the message of that movie? That the solution to the Problem of Evil is that God can’t read enough e-mails in a day? So a (very tangential) sequel seemed bad.
And then, as others said, not only is the premise totally confused, but the trailers were devoid of anything even slightly amusing.
I will watch it on cable, just to see him talking about “getting fired.” I’ll probably just read a book or knit while I watch.
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### Author:  [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/36 "2007-06-23T17:26:41Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork Jackal]
I myself wondered how they were going to get around the fact that God promised to not do another flood again in the Bible. I thought the rainbow was the symbol of His promise to not do that again. How did they handle that in the movie? Or did they just ignore it?
[/QUOTE]
Well yeah that was bothering a little, but although they didn’t specifically address the issue (they did have a rainbow at the end but there was no disucssion about it), the answer is fairly obvious by the end of the movie. Although Evan assumes God is going to make it rain again and cause the flood, what actually ends up happening is that the dam, which was constructed poorly by a corrupt congressman, breaks, flooding the valley. It turns out God had Evan build the ark to save all the people who live in the valley. SO God didn’t break his promise, because he didnt cause this flood - he was just saving people from a man made flood.
Anyway, probably 90% of the “plot” is in the trailer, so if you saw the trailer and still went to see the movie and were disappointed you have no one to blame but yourself lol. The movie was fairly predictable, and the plot was pretty much already in the trailer or telegraphed.
I didn’t really have a problem with the coincidental parts of the movie, they were clearly the work of God, who even specifically says so at one point. The idea of him getting “fired” did seem ridiculous, altho that and the destroying the ark thing were both explained offhand with minor dialogue that implied certain things happening off screen (court order, censure vote, etc.). It did bother me that Congress looked more like a classroom or courtroom than what I picture in my head from CSPAN. The animals didn’t bother me - you can’t have an ark without animals. True, this ark wasn’t created to save animals, it was created to save people from a smaller flood, give Evan a way to be closer to his family, and to make a symbolic statement ot the world. But the animals did end up being needed to help build the ark, and also served a symbolic purpose / attention getting purpose, similar to the reasons Evan’s beard grew and he had to wear old style clothing (see “The Santa Clause”). It did bother me that people thought Evan was a nutjob when they could see for themselves that pretty strange things were happening TO him, not just by him.
If anything, it’s a light fluff piece with a warm message. If you are in the mood for fluff, this is an enjoyable movie. I had fun and wasn’t bored despite having already seen 90% of the “plot” in the trailer. If you’re not in the mood for fluff, then this just isn’t the movie for you.
It doesn’t quite work in the sequel aspect though. This was definitely a lighter, more kid oriented film than Bruce Almighty, which had a more adult humor and content feel. Also obviously, Even does not become God in this film, he becomes Noah, so that changes things as well. Other than having the same actor for Evan and God, this was more of a light spinoff than a sequel.
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### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/37 "2007-06-23T18:02:44Z")
**Wendell** , was scouring your list, and what exactly did they do in \*The 13th Warrior \* which cost 190 million?
If it was a local flood and not a worldwide one, then why do the animals need saving? I’m not sure what movie would qualify for “Film With the Most Non-Sequiturs” but reading this thread this one is definitely in contention. Oh and off to start a new thread with that title…
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### Author:  [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/38 "2007-06-23T18:38:21Z")
How are you supposed to spend more time with your kids if you’re out building a damned boat?
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### Author:  [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/39 "2007-06-23T18:58:36Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool]
**Wendell** , was scouring your list, and what exactly did they do in \*The 13th Warrior \* which cost 190 million?
[/QUOTE]
I just watched this on cable the other night, and I was wondering exactly the same thing.
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evan-almighty-ass-almighty-lousy-movie-psa-open-spoilers/409099/40 "2007-06-23T19:37:10Z")
I saw some kind of “behind the scenes” trailer for this film, and they kept talking about how environmentally friendly the film production was and _not_ talking about the film itself, I realized that it was going to be a suckitude of Biblical proportions.
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