# Evangelical Christmas Cards.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 22, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172 "2004-12-22T16:24:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/101 "2004-12-24T18:18:51Z")
Evangelical cards seek to win
A depraved son of Adam from sin
But alas! The result
Is more likely insult
Than redeeming the targeted kin.
And may you all have just the sort of holiday you (a) desire or (b) deserve. đđđ
---
### Author:  [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/102 "2004-12-24T20:08:38Z")
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> First of all, itâs a thread about a Christmas card, and second thatâs not agressive opposition, and third, way to be a lazy asshole and just pick _one_ post to single out about what kind of card to send back. Like Cthulu Santa and the Anti-Christ were really appropriate by your standards, but I totally crossed the line.
>
> Did you actually take a look at what my card suggestions said? The atheistic card might actually fall into **Homebrew** âs honest belief about the universe, and might make a decent Christmas card if you put some thought into it. The Easter card was hostile, and I credit **Homebrew** with enough intellect to decide whether itâs appropriate to send to his aunt, or whether that would be too much.
Shaolinrabbit, if you think your âviews about the universeâ are appropriate material for greeting cards, youâve got something wrong with your brain. I donât care how honest the views expressed within may be, you donât get to use greeting cards as soapboxes. If you do it anyway, youâre an asshole.
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> If you donât get that concept, or the obvious lack of seriousness in that suggestion, I donât care if you come to an understanding with me. You may have to learn to accept the fact that some things might be beyond your understanding.
So youâre saying that if I disagree with you, I must be stupid? Way to avoid having to actually justify your arguments.
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> If the Easter card concept was blasphemous, insulting to anyone in particularâs religion or otherwise in poor taste, Iâd like to remind them that Iâm under no obligation to _like_ Jesus. Perhaps youâre unfamiliar with the atheist belief system, in which Jesus was a liar, all his apostles were liars, and they conspired to ruin everything fun forever, and have nearly succeeded\*.
No, you donât get to insult or condemn anotherâs religion - especially not on a card you send to commemorate one of their own holidays. If you really believe that Jesus and the Apostles were evil liars, then youâre either completely fucking ignorant of what they taught, or youâre so amazingly immature that you feel that anyone who doesnât promote your own belief system is inherently evil. Thatâs exactly the kind of thing youâd go around condemning when fundamentalist Christians do it, which indicates that youâre probably a hypocrite too. Congrats.
And if you felt the need to share that with someone on a Christian holiday in a greeting card, then youâre morally on a level with things I scrape off my shoe. Merry Christmas, asswipe.
And per his later post, please donât assume that every athiest shares this fuckerâs beliefs. I certainly donât.
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> No Iâm not, yes he does, and yes he did. He did, in fact, have a problem with a religious message in a card. He got a religious card, he had a problem. Fight back the stupid and take control again.
No, he had a problem with an _evangelical_ greeting card, as has been established over and over. I know that five syllables is probably a lot for you, but thereâs a difference between the expression of a religious sentiment and the attempt to browbeat those who donât share your own beliefs.
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> Thereâs a difference between not being Christian and demanding that others allow him to live in a secular bubble, yes. But say youâve got a highly religious Aunt, who preaches all year, and then Christmas comes along⌠SUPRISE!! OMG! Itâs a highly religious card! Thatâs not a strawman, itâs incompetance. Itâs what Iâd expect from Donald Rumsfeld after he gets his card from W.
What? Did this make sense in your mind as you wrote it, or were you just stringing words together and praying they made grammatical sentences? Back to 8th grade composition class for you!
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> FTR, sending an atheistic holiday card to everyone isnât hostile, blasphemous or wrong, itâs what I believe inside a card. Like itâs just so fucking ugly to try and send _that_ out to people. Start not associating with me early, and STFU.
Sending an athiestic holiday card - as in one that specifically mentionâs that there is no god - is inherently rubbing up against that whole âevangelicalâ thing that others have tried to explain. Since thereâs no useful holidays or symbolism to draw on - no reindeer or Christmas trees or wise men to represent the holiday - thereâs no way to do it without specifically stating that you donât believe in God. Stick that in a Christmas card, and itâs going to come across as an aggressive attempt to browbeat someone else into sharing your beliefs, just like the OPâs aunt.
I know you got told a lot of times growing up that what you believe is important. So let me let you and everyone else in on something: _What you believe is not important to anyone but yourself._ There is a legal right to express what you believe, but thereâs no protections for it within the realm of interpersonal relations. Expressing what Shaolinrabbit here believes will get him (rightly) branded as an asshole. Doing it in a greeting card in place of offering warm wishes for the holidays makes you so socially defective that thereâs probably no hope for you.
At any rate, Shaolinrabbit, I wonât bother with any holiday wishes since chances are youâve alienated everyone you know with your attitudes. Have a cold winter.
---
### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/103 "2004-12-25T04:30:11Z")
Just a thought. . .
My baby and I are enjoying mulled wine and Fiona Apple singing âAcross The Universe.â I have no quarrel with anyone on this Christmas Eve, and I wish all of you happiness in any way you find it.
And a special hug goes to **Sol Grundy**. Jah Rastafari knows I irritate the shit out of him and vice versa, and yet I think he totally rocks. I like his fierceness in defending himself and his determination to live his life on his own terms. Good for him.
Peace and blowjobs to all.
---
### Author:  [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/104 "2004-12-25T08:11:39Z")
::sniff:: Non-denominational tidings of fellatio in the BBQ Pit on Christmas Eve. Itâs beautiful.
And in the spirit of the season, Iâll concede that the only reason **gobear** irritates the shit out of me like no other poster can, is that thereâs a little kernel of truth to some of the things he accuses me of. And if thatâs not detante, I donât know what is.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!
---
### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/105 "2004-12-25T13:53:42Z")
And as **gobear** and **Sol Grundy** achieve _detente_ (perhaps detente in de pants? ;)), may all my Doper friends truly find in this season some peace on earth and good will towards all people â because thatâs the point behind Christmas originally, the gift of someone special given out of love.
---
### Author:  [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/106 "2004-12-25T14:01:21Z")
âŚ
This truly must be a blessed day. A Pit thread with a happy ending? Say it ainât fucking so!
đđ
---
### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/107 "2004-12-25T14:03:19Z")
Fuckinâ aye!
---
### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/108 "2004-12-25T19:37:12Z")
[Tiny Tim]God fuckinâ bless us, every one of us motherfuckers.[/Tiny Tim]
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/109 "2004-12-26T12:52:46Z")
> [@Shaolinrabbit](#):
>
> Atheist: Those who do not believe in the existence of deity or deities.
Do you believe that there is a substantive difference between ~B(x) and B(~x)? In other words, can an atheist also be someone who believes in the existence of no deity or deities?
---
### Author:  [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/110 "2004-12-26T22:12:12Z")
This is something of a hijack, but a church down the street from me has a âholiday playâ every Christmas season. The neighbor ladies all go. And so of course they invited me. Iâm not a Christian, but I didnât mind seeing a Christmas theme play, and it was in fact quite nice. They even serve dessert during intermission. But after the play was over, the minister got up and began a very long-winded sermonâŚwhich I had not signed up for. I mean, hadnât we just watched an evangelical themed play for an hour and a half? I had no idea there would be a long hellfire sermon plus altar call too. I politely declined the next year and the neighbor ladies have never invited me again. False advertising. I hate false advertising. Of course itâs a church, of course they have sermons, but they couldâve told people it was a âplay, plus sermon afterwardâ.
---
### Author:  [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/111 "2004-12-27T04:20:28Z")
> [@Priam](#):
>
> This truly must be a blessed day. A Pit thread with a happy ending? Say it ainât fucking so!
Sorry, I guess I got carried away. Uh⌠who the fuck listens to Fiona Apple? She sucks!
---
### Author:  [@Logicalkitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logicalkitten)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/112 "2004-12-27T04:28:21Z")
> [@Miller](#):
>
> [Tiny Tim]God fuckinâ bless us, every one of us motherfuckers.[/Tiny Tim]
The formerely living Tiny Tim would never say that!
Can you imagine?
---
### Author:  [@Logicalkitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logicalkitten)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/113 "2004-12-27T04:36:56Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> Just a thought. . .
>
> My baby and I are enjoying mulled wine /////// Jah Rastafari knows .
Whats mulled wine? Are you really a Rasta? đ
Have a Happy Soltice, you all.
---
### Author:  [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/114 "2004-12-27T04:41:47Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> Peace and blowjobs to all.
:dubious: This female wonders: Is this what they mean when they say Christmas is about giving, not receiving?
---
### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/115 "2004-12-27T08:15:17Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#):
>
> Sorry, I guess I got carried away. Uh⌠who the fuck listens to Fiona Apple? She sucks!
Donât _make_ me come over there! I could take or leave Fiona Apple, but her cover of âAcross the Universeâ is fucking sublime.
Whereas Sublimeâs cover of âFucking Fiona Appleâ is only so-so.
---
### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/116 "2004-12-27T11:56:51Z")
**Logicalkitten** : To make mulled wine, combine 1 bottle of yummy red wine (I prefer Yellowtail Shiraz) with in chopped lemon, 1 chopped orange, 1/2 tsp nut meg, 2 cloves, 1/4 cup sugar (or Splenda, which is what i use), and 1 cinnamon stick. Heat over the stove in a saucepan on medium until the mixture just starts to steam.
And no, Iâm not a Rasta, although I am an ardent fan of 70s reggae.
**Sol Grundy** : I wonât vouch for Ms. Appleâs entire _oeuvre_, but her cover of âAcross the Universeâ is indeed fuckinâ sublime. I really do, despite our differences, think the world of you. You have a generous soul, a sensitive and thoughtful nature, youâre an intelligent man who thinks deeply about the woirld and his place in it, and youâre hot as mortal sin to boot.
**LilyoftheValley** , Iâm gay, so for me blowjobs are about giving as well as recieving, but I wish you and yours deliriously joyful sex acts of the season that will pleasure you in any way you like best.
**Liberal** : Go play your word games someplace else. You know what atheism means, so cease the provocation and have a glass of wine.
Happy New Year to all!
---
### Author:  [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/117 "2004-12-27T12:15:12Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> Happy New Year to all!
Bit premature, doncha think?
---
### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/118 "2004-12-27T12:19:16Z")
> [@Desmostylus](#):
>
> Bit premature, doncha think?
Why? The New Year is on its way, so why not wish people a happy one? After all,we say âMerry Christmasâ during the entire season, do we not?
---
### Author:  [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/119 "2004-12-27T12:33:59Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> After all,we say âMerry Christmasâ during the entire season, do we not?
Actually, no. Not here, anyway. This is no big deal, but I didnât realise that you guys did that.
The first time I said âMerry Christmasâ to anyone this year, and the first time anyone said it to me was on Friday, Christmas Eve.
Someone said âHappy New Yearâ to me today, but the full sentence was âIn case I donât see you before then, Happy New Yearâ. đ
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/evangelical-christmas-cards/281172/120 "2004-12-27T15:17:34Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> **Liberal** : Go play your word games someplace else. You know what atheism means, so cease the provocation and have a glass of wine.
Lordy, even during a time when youâre flinging out drunken glad tidings to all and sundry, you cannot stop yourself from taking a jab at me. Just because you donât understand something doesnât mean you have to lash out at it like a redneck barking about gay marriage destroying America. ~B(x) and B(~x) are fundamentally different statements.
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