# Eve, a word please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284 "2003-05-01T02:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/181 "2003-05-04T19:45:25Z")
Never look in a laser beam with the remaining eyeball. Don’t get even, get odd ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/182 "2003-05-04T20:40:14Z")
I apologize if I’m starting to sound like a one-trick pony about this, but it cannot be said often enough: **If you have been drinking beer all night, DO NOT START DRINKING PEACH SCHNAPPS.** the horror, the horror ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/183 "2003-05-04T21:05:02Z")
You can’t rollerskate in a buffalo herd. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/184 "2003-05-04T21:08:57Z")
Measure twice, cut once. A pop fly down the third base line is the shortstop’s play. It ain’t over 'til its over, but its over when the fat lady sings. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/185 "2003-05-04T21:16:44Z")
No, Crap Nelson is really not a good name for a baby…girl. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/186 "2003-05-04T21:22:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Musicat \* > But will they be plagarized, as the Nelson Algren quote_ was? Um, not to make an issue out of this, but most of the posts on this thread are quotes from elsewhere. I’m only bringing this up as he’s a newbie, and I don’t understand why his quote was the one that got singled out here?) Also, Dr. John did kinda put his own spin on it…unless that was part of the original quote? **moi** Newbie Defender[sup]tm[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/187 "2003-05-04T21:24:14Z")
If it seems like everyone around you is a bunch of jerks, it might not be _them_. Always remember. They leave crazy people alone. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/188 "2003-05-04T21:30:49Z")
Put! The Candle! Back! ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/189 "2003-05-04T21:45:21Z")
If it floats, flies, or fucks, _rent it_. (P. J. O’Rourke.) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/190 "2003-05-04T22:00:15Z")
Look for the big W. Tubing is where it’s at. Have conversations with people whose clothes are not color coordinated. Make love in a hammock! And eat things that are bad for you, at least once in a while. Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning. Lefty loosey, rightsy tightsy. Don’t ask me why. ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/191 "2003-05-04T22:17:24Z")
When in doubt refer to rule #1. ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/192 "2003-05-04T22:51:10Z")
Anyone who says money or brute force can’t solve any problem isn’t using enough of it. Also, my grandfather told me that if you can’t pay cash for something, you probably shouldn’t be buying it in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/193 "2003-05-04T23:05:22Z")
[Locutus] Resistance is futile… Number One. [/Locutus] ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/194 "2003-05-04T23:52:50Z")
Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Never take advice from a man with one tooth. When the kids get quiet, be afraid. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/195 "2003-05-05T00:11:10Z")
Be oblong and have your knees removed. ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/196 "2003-05-05T02:05:31Z")
Duck and cover. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/197 "2003-05-05T10:53:22Z")
You gotta’ know when to hold em’, know when to fold em’, know when to walk away and know when to run. Close cover before striking. Dare to be stupid. Don’t fix it if it isn’t broke. Shop smart, shop S-Mart. If you want someone to believe something whisper it. The sun will come out tomorrow, you can bet your bottom dollar. _this could get addicting!_ ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/198 "2003-05-05T11:13:41Z")
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. ---
**Author:** ![grettle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@grettle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grettle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/199 "2003-05-05T11:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*The dessert fork goes on the immediate left of the plate next to the luncheon fork and Batman always wins. \*\* Actually, that is the salad fork. THe desert utensil is often placed above the plate. Oh, and you’re right, Batman does always win. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/200 "2003-05-05T12:13:20Z")
Never take health advice from someone who smokes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=11)