# Eve, a word please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284 "2003-05-01T02:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/81 "2003-05-02T14:38:15Z")
Billy, don’t be a hero. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/82 "2003-05-02T14:39:16Z")
Freekin doogleblints, this thread that was a semi-private requestto Eve for an email, has been seen by more people than most of the other threads on this board. Advice: If you are really ill for more than a day, go see a Doctor, don’t just wait for it to get better. (I didn’t do this, and on the third day my appendix whent _POP_ so I ended in Hospital for over a month, when it could have been a two day stay) ---
**Author:** ![djwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@djwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djwalker)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/83 "2003-05-02T14:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\*If there is a serial killer on the loose in the woods near the cabin you booked for summer vacation - DON’T split up! Run, don’t walk to your car. LEAVE. \*\* Corollary: If you are being chased by any form of weapon wielding badguy, whether he be crazed axe-carrying mask-wearing serial killer, or pistol toting government/mob/mercenary hitman, DO NOT immediately go to the highest point of the building. There is no way to escape from there. If you see stairs or elevators, resist the urge to go UP; always go down. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/84 "2003-05-02T15:07:29Z")
a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. ---
**Author:** ![Latch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@Latch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latch)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/85 "2003-05-02T15:10:50Z")
Never get involved in a land war in Asia. That looks infected, I’d get that checked out if I were you. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/86 "2003-05-02T15:30:39Z")
Go west young man. Never rub another mans rhubarb. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/87 "2003-05-02T15:34:56Z")
It’s not normal when it hurts to pee. FYI. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/88 "2003-05-02T16:04:34Z")
Never whistle while pissing. If you don’t see the fnords, they can’t eat you. ---
**Author:** ![Parrothead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/59ef9b/32.png) [@Parrothead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parrothead)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/89 "2003-05-02T16:05:04Z")
Ball bearings. It’s **ALL** ball bearings these days. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/90 "2003-05-02T16:09:03Z")
Two British Army maxims: “Hot, sweet, milky tea is a panacea for anything except a stomach wound;” and “Keep your mouth shut, bowels open, and never volunteer.” ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/91 "2003-05-02T16:17:56Z")
All the doctor wants is “a word.” My suggestion: ultracrepidarian. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/92 "2003-05-02T16:23:48Z")
Never light a fart in a pair of polyester pants. I mean it! Don’t do it! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/93 "2003-05-02T16:40:31Z")
Always…no, never forget to check your references. I think the young people enjoy it when I “get down” verbally. ---
**Author:** ![NameAlreadyTaken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@NameAlreadyTaken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NameAlreadyTaken)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/94 "2003-05-02T16:57:41Z")
**Stranger On a Train** , your first post and you quote Real Genius in an obscure thread that took on a life of it’s own shortly after the OP? Welcome to the boards! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/95 "2003-05-02T17:00:01Z")
One word…are you listening…? Plastics ---
**Author:** ![cblackhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@cblackhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cblackhand)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/96 "2003-05-02T17:32:06Z")
Never go in against a sicilian when death is on the line. ---
**Author:** ![fightin\_hellfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/278dde/32.png) [@fightin\_hellfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fightin_hellfish)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/97 "2003-05-02T17:40:00Z")
Don’t call up what you can’t put down. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/98 "2003-05-02T17:44:41Z")
“42” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Ketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@Jack\_Ketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Ketch)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/99 "2003-05-02T17:49:26Z")
Cut the red wire! … or, was that the blue one? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/100 "2003-05-02T17:54:28Z")
Violate all advice given to you at least once, if the result would be amusing and only embarassing. Do not attempt masturbation with a vaccum cleaner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=6)