# Eve, a word please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284 "2003-05-01T02:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![fightin\_hellfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/278dde/32.png) [@fightin\_hellfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fightin_hellfish)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/101 "2003-05-02T17:57:47Z")
If it is unnamable, indescribable, subtly non-Euclidean or just plain looks like it should not be, leave town immediately. However, you are probably already screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/102 "2003-05-02T18:01:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\ > > Do not attempt masturbation with a vaccum cleaner. \*\* Or Apple Pie. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/103 "2003-05-02T18:06:11Z")
It’s nice to be liked, but it’s better by far to get paid. Preview is your friend. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/104 "2003-05-02T18:11:41Z")
Refusing to buy a size 18 is NOT going to make you magically be a size 12. Just buy the 18 already. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/105 "2003-05-02T18:43:31Z")
Don’t take advice from people on message boards. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/106 "2003-05-02T18:53:38Z")
Don’t feed the plants! ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/107 "2003-05-02T19:20:12Z")
Cut the green centre out of a garlic clove, more often than not it adds bitterness to your dish. Get skilled with a Chef’s knife and you won’t need a garlic press for fine mince. and perhaps most importantly, Don’t change the cycle time by more than 2 minutes per attempt, because the reactor response will go non-linear and your product yield will go into the toilet. At 1500 kg per shot weight, mistakes add up fast. ---
**Author:** ![cbpiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@cbpiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbpiz)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/108 "2003-05-02T19:27:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*Never…oops, sorry, > > Always keep one of those little plastic trash bags in your car. It is very convenient for putting soda cans, gum wrappers, soiled napkins, and other trash in. Plus, when it gets full, you can just throw it out the window. \*\* I had to become a member to post how amused I was by this. Thanks, I needed the laugh. What exactly is a “thread”? I fear I may have signed up for some sewing cult! Well, may as well leave my advice: If you’re not sure it is suppose to have raisins, don’t eat it. When your three year old says he is going to be sick, it is already too late to get the bucket. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/109 "2003-05-02T19:39:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bippy the Beardless \* > \*\*Advice: If you are really ill for more than a day, go see a Doctor, don’t just wait for it to get better. > (I didn’t do this, and on the third day my appendix whent _POP_ so I ended in Hospital for over a month, when it could have been a two day stay) \*\* My cousin did this. Ended up having a baby, but kept her appendix. AND THAT’S THE HONEST TRUTH. Scratching only makes it worse. and Really, all you need to do in life is get your fat butt off the couch and shake it 'til you sweat. ---
**Author:** ![NameAlreadyTaken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@NameAlreadyTaken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NameAlreadyTaken)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/110 "2003-05-02T19:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cbpiz \* > \*\*I had to become a member to post how amused I was by this. Thanks, I needed the laugh. > What exactly is a “thread”? I fear I may have signed up for some sewing cult! > > 😃 \*\* Two new SMDB members ( **cbpiz** and **Stranger On a Train** , both with their first post in a thread that has no relation to it’s title or OP! Must be a record. Welcome to the boards cbpiz. A thread is simply a collection of posts. A thread is started by an original post (OP), and grows as people reply. The heirarchy here at Straight Dope is Boards-\>Fourm (e.g. MPSIMS)-\>Thread(e.g. Eve, a word please)-\>Post (this is one!). ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/111 "2003-05-02T19:50:51Z")
Do not rely on a condom when using petroleum jelly-based lubricants. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/112 "2003-05-02T20:19:52Z")
When someone asks you if you’re a god, say yes! ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/113 "2003-05-02T20:32:35Z")
Don’t do what Donnie Don’t does. ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/114 "2003-05-02T20:49:44Z")
Don’t panic. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/115 "2003-05-02T20:52:05Z")
Learn from Miss Stout – and always take the garbage out! Never hit your mother with a shovel; it leaves a dull impression on her mind. If the Frenchies say [in any language], “Fetch me the cow,” it’s time to run away. Ditto if they’re slinging shit at you… Never head out on a drunken road trip without aspirins. Don’t let the rural, unsophisticated, salt-of-the-earth types get you down; remember, they’re just… morons. Trust in The Force. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/116 "2003-05-02T21:00:44Z")
Never wait in the dark in the Great Underground Empire. ---
**Author:** ![mycoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@mycoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mycoman)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/117 "2003-05-02T21:10:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Never wait in the dark in the Great Underground Empire. z z z shh, I think I hear a grue. . . ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/118 "2003-05-02T21:11:24Z")
If you’re tired of waking up grouchy, just let him sleep. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/119 "2003-05-02T21:18:18Z")
My dog says this is his life motto: If you can’t eat it… or f\*ck it… then _piss on it_. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/120 "2003-05-02T21:22:38Z")
Class definitions end with a semicolon, and remember to choose a standard convention for variable and function names. When travelling or in bed, do not be ashamed to ask for directions. Generic is usually worse than brand name. It’s up to you to decide what your money is worth. College is infinitely cooler than high school. Set your watch 5 minutes fast. This ensures that you get places on time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=7)