# Eve, a word please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284 "2003-05-01T02:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/141 "2003-05-03T03:24:13Z")
Don’t go changin’ to try and please me… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/142 "2003-05-03T03:26:09Z")
Don’t sweat the petty stuff. Don’t pet the sweaty stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/143 "2003-05-03T04:08:28Z")
Don’t let the sun go down on me. He’s really bad at it. Also, spit in one hand and wish in the other, and see which one fills up first. ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/144 "2003-05-03T04:29:08Z")
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn! ---
**Author:** ![it\_sjustme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/da6949/32.png) [@it\_sjustme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/it_sjustme)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/145 "2003-05-03T04:45:07Z")
eat your vegetables drink at least 6 8 oz glasses of water a day get plenty of rest excerise for at least 30 minutes 3 to 4 times a week your body is a temple, respect it oh, fuck it… LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW! ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/146 "2003-05-03T04:59:54Z")
… But trust me on sitting up straight. **Stranger On A Train** , welcome to the boards. :^) ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/65b543/32.png) [@Quiddity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/147 "2003-05-03T05:13:01Z")
oh and donnt ferget to stay in skool ---
**Author:** ![Latch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@Latch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latch)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/148 "2003-05-03T05:43:45Z")
Duct tape can fix just about everything. If you can’t duct it… fu-- I mean… forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/149 "2003-05-03T06:44:08Z")
Whatever you do, don’t listen to a word I say. ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/150 "2003-05-03T06:44:38Z")
Try the red pill at least once. Wear a hat. You lose most of your body heat from your head. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose. (Unless it’s a VERY good friend.) ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/151 "2003-05-03T06:50:43Z")
Confidential requests to Eve will be ignored by the other members of the SDMB. We have high ethical morals and do not pry. (So, just between you and me, what did you ask? I mean, it’s not like anybody is reading this anyway…) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/152 "2003-05-03T08:25:16Z")
Trust whatever advice **Eve** finds useful to give you. She is a good-hearted woman of courage and integrity who will not steer you wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/153 "2003-05-03T09:13:25Z")
When facing zombies: If you Kill the Brain, you Kill the Ghoul. When staking a Vampire’s heart, use a stake made from the wood of an Ash tree, and only pound ONCE. Ditch the Kalishnikov, and stay with the elephant gun. You’ll get better penetration, and have to carry less ammunition. When hunting in Alaska, “file the front sight off your sidearms. That way when the bear shoves the gun up your ass, it won’t hurt so much.” “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” “It’s good to know who hates you, and it’s good to be hated by the right people.” Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatuluk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death; there is the Force. "Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself, and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss, and when." Don’t spit into the wind, and don’t tug on Superman’s cape. In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape his sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware the power of Green Lantern’s light. And Oswald was a f- ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/154 "2003-05-03T13:00:06Z")
The Mods are gods. Whatever they say, goes. ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/155 "2003-05-03T13:55:29Z")
Always look out for No. 1. and don’t step in No. 2 either ---
**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/156 "2003-05-03T14:26:25Z")
Good news always sleeps 'til noon. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/157 "2003-05-03T14:31:23Z")
Fear is the mind killer. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/158 "2003-05-03T15:06:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr John of Babylon \* > Thanks, Twickster. I’ll try to make nothing but funny, insightful posts. But will they be plagarized, as the Nelson Algren quote\* was? \*“Never play cards with a man called “Doc.” Never eat at a place called “Mom’s.” And never sleep with a woman whose troubles are greater than your own.” – Nelson Algren ---
**Author:** ![BigDadDogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BigDadDogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigDadDogg)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/159 "2003-05-03T15:18:31Z")
Sage advice from my grandfather, before he left to chase women in the next plane of existence: 1. Never pass by a bathroom. 2. Never waste an erection (even if you’re alone). 3. Never assume it’s just a fart. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284/160 "2003-05-03T15:19:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FranticMad \* > \*\*promise me I’m never gonna find you fake it > no no no \*\* On behalf of those of us who got this, I’d just like to say _ **Auugh!** _ I’m sure you have some cosmic rationale. But here you are with your faith and your Peter Pan advice. You have no scars on your face, and you cannot handle pressure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-a-word-please/172284.md?page=9)