What you really need, Eve, is a private secretary. That way, you can recline gracefully and dictate to your eager and able assistant. You wouldn’t even risk spoiling your manicure!
Or you could just do as I do and keep trying things till something works.
Eve. A CD-writing drive is called a ‘burner’ because the laser literally burns the disc, heating it to form ‘pits’ and ‘lands’. Think of it as a record player that heats a blank vinyl record to make its own grooves.
A mouse has a cord that is at least three or four feet long. It should easily reach the left side of the keyboard. Furthermore, it is entirely possible to reverse the buttons on the mouse, for ease of use for the left handed person, so that you ‘right-click’ with your stronger index finger, and ‘left click’ with your weaker ring finger. It does add up over time.
The domain issue, I think we should save for later. It shouldn’t be hard, but it’s not something we have to deal with right now.
Let’s try something easy and important to you. Writing a document.
First, you have to identify the program you are using to write the document. What is it labeled as? You can look at the top of the screen, the narrow, usually blue bar, to read it. If you tell us what you’re using, we’ll do our best to help you do what you need.
Secondly, of course, you need to save your work. At the moment, don’t worry too much about organization. There should be a folder on your computer named My Documents. If you automatically find yourself there when you try to save something, you’re in the right place. If not, don’t worry. You want to save on the hard drive right now, though, and not a floppy.
Simplify, simplify. At first.
Once you think you’ve mastered your writing program reasonably, we’ll move on to other features.
This is a good place to go for a tutorial on Microsoft Office.
Microsoft Office, even if you check all the “run from this computer” boxes will still, at some very in-appropriate time, ask you for the installation CD. (like when you patch) We like to copy the whole CD to an install folder (c:\install\office) and run the setup from there. It’s an enormous pain if you don’t have the CD handy just then. The same goes for just about all Windows installations. It wastes huge amounts of disk space but most modern drives can handle it.
Wonderful Bill Gates keeps me employed. If wonderful Sun would just build a decent interface…rant rant
Microsoft Office, even if you check all the “run from this computer” boxes will still, at some very in-appropriate time, ask you for the installation CD. (like when you patch) We like to copy the whole CD to an install folder (c:\install\office) and run the setup from there. It’s an enormous pain if you don’t have the CD handy just then. The same goes for just about all Windows installations. It wastes huge amounts of disk space but most modern drives can handle it.
Keep in mind Bill Gates will have that Office serial number in his database if you use Windows update, go to Microsoft.com, use XP, have a Passport account, etc…
Soory for the double post…browser lockup…Hazard of using Netscape 4.76 
Petcat, while important and true, I’m going to say that Eve doesn’t need to know this about Office. Karen might and probably does.
Eve, hon? You out there?
I think I saw Eve on 14th street asking where she could buy a typewriter and some carbon paper.
Eve, if you are still out there, relax.
Just play with the computer for awhile.
I like Office 2000…it has a million times too much for your needs, but the Word program alone has a lot of nice features you will like as a writer.
But in the meantime, just play with it! Do the silly on-screen tutorals and watch what can be done…even if you never have any need to do any of it - sometimes it is nice to know you could do it if you want to.
Again, just get comfortable and fiddle with it. As long as you don’t drop it in the bathtub or spill crazy glue on the keyboard, you can’t do any damage.
Trust me - in a very short time you will wonder what had you all atwitter.
She’s probably hangin’ at the Algonquin.
BUMP
But am back bright as a penny. Have been exploring the machine—you know, it has a port for floppies as well as CDs and DVDs? I wonder if it plays 78s as well . . .
I don’t want to do a tutorial for the current Microsoft Works; I’ll wait till my friend Karen installs Office 2000—I mean, when she takes me out shopping to legally purchase Office 2000! Then I’ll run a tutorial and get writin’, which is what I really want to do!
Well, as you can see, I have learned how to view and post from home, using my crappy AOL hookup! Now I can not only waste time at work on the Board, I can waste time at home when I should be writing my books! Woo-hoo!
Yay, our contact with Eve is no longer limited to business hours. 