# Eve vs. Glurge, Vol. II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239 "2005-04-01T14:56:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/21 "2005-04-01T20:02:54Z")
> [@](#): > > how did the original joke end? It ended the same way: The bear froze for a moment, then brought both paws together, bowed his head and said: “Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.” It’s just that when the minister prays for the bear to be converted, you think for a moment that he’s going to get away. And the lead-in is less cluttered. There’s no need for big lights and time freezing and the voice of god and one-ups on unbelievers and stuff. Just a man, a bear, a prayer, a moment when he might have gotten away, and the twist where he doesn’t. It’s the kind of joke you can tell in church. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/22 "2005-04-01T22:57:56Z")
This is close to the original version I heard (that other shite is everywhere on the Net!) > [@](#): > > A pastor skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting in the mountains. As he turned the corner along the path, he and a bear collided. The pastor stumbled backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain with the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a boulder, sending his rifle flying in one direction and breaking both his legs. The pastor was lying there, he’d lost his gun, and the bear was coming closer. He cried out in desperation, “Lord, I repent for all I’ve done. Please make this bear a Christian.” The bear skidded to a halt at the pastor’s feet, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and said, “Lord, I do thank you for the food I am about to receive.” ---
**Author:** ![Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weaver_of_Nightmares)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/23 "2005-04-02T00:43:19Z")
Thanks, **Yllaria**. The original version is much better than what **Eve** and her sister got in their mailboxes. 😃 I laughed, I cried, I passed it on to my SO. Glurge should be banned to the nether-regions of Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/24 "2005-04-02T02:14:19Z")
> [@Weaver of Nightmares](#): > > Glurge should be banned to the nether-regions of Hell. Especially when perfectly good jokes mutate into glurge. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/25 "2005-04-02T14:42:01Z")
When walking through bear country, it’s best to be Jewish. Once the bear is converted to Judaism, he won’t be able to eat you because you’re not kosher. ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239/26 "2005-04-02T15:29:04Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > When walking through bear country, it’s best to be Jewish. Once the bear is converted to Judaism, he won’t be able to eat you because you’re not kosher. Just watch out for the broken glass… Wow! My 50th post! Do I get a ‘50 Posts’ chip or something? Whoops, time to get back to the meeting. _“Hi, my name is Bdubyah and I’m a SDMBaholic…”_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge-vol-ii/297239.md?page=1)