# Eve vs. Glurge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199 "2002-05-15T14:34:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/21 "2002-05-16T13:59:06Z")
You left out that only two registers were open (one for express - 12 items or less only (IT SHOULD BE ‘FEWER’ DAMN IT)) and both of those have only one person working them - no one is bagging groceries; the floor hadn’t been swept in a month; the muzak is playing a cheesy version of “Shake Your Booty”; all of the pre-packaged salads are a week past their expiration date; someone dropped a jar of salsa in aisle three and no one’s cleaned it up yet (careful, there’s broken glass everywhere); all of the milk cartons are leaking and there’s an inch of milk on the dairy shelves; they’re out of New York Super Fudge Chunk (all that’s left is Lime Sherbert); you forgot your coupons and your grocery list; no, I don’t want to try a sample of Jerkos Imitation Smoked Turkey Bacon; the woman with three toddlers (all screaming for a different brand of cereal) is going in the opposite direction from you and will coming at you head-on 'til you leave; a package of razor blades now costs $6.00; and, you’ve got to stand in the never-moving line behind the fat, sweaty, smelly construction worker who’s butt crack is showing. Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was a thread about Food Lion. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Warnas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b77776/32.png) [@Warnas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Warnas)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/22 "2002-05-20T14:10:56Z")
As far as I’m concerned the line that reads ‘originated in The Netherlands’ is a crock. Slander. A slur. Any Dutchman who can write in English on that level is way too educated not to vomit spontaneously when reading or composing crap like this. Remember, religion is for the stupid. To decide what’s right and wrong all by yourself requires a brain. Greetings from Holland. Please ignore the outcome of our last general election. That’s what you get for having a democracy, I’m afraid. I liked Eve’s version though. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/23 "2002-05-20T14:46:01Z")
\ (Much to the consternation of his office-mates) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/24 "2002-05-20T18:30:21Z")
Heven’s Grocery Store? I hate shopping there. The damn bag boy always gets blood on my produce. Freakin’ stigmata. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/25 "2002-05-20T18:36:57Z")
Second rate work, I think. But at least it’s in the right forum. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/26 "2002-05-20T18:40:08Z")
Obviously, the above complaint about stigamatic bagboys should read “Heaven’s”, not “Heven’s”. Their breaded lamb of God chops are pretty good, though. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/27 "2002-05-20T20:45:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Warnas \* > \*\*Remember, religion is for the stupid. To decide what’s right and wrong all by yourself requires a brain. \*\* **Warnas,** this forum is neither GD, where one can debate the merits of religion, nor is it the Pit, where one can insult others to one’s heart’s content. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/28 "2002-05-20T22:31:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Second rate work, I think. But at least it’s in the right forum. \*\* Did you forget to include the little “winkie” smiley there, **Lib**? As read, it sounds like you’re seriously slamming **Eve** ’s efforts. ---
**Author:** ![BlueMit11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@BlueMit11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMit11)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/29 "2002-05-21T00:26:29Z")
Hmmm…I’m new, but I would just like to comment on the type A-ness and organizational skills of you people. I like this forum. There are rules here that everyone is intelligent enough to follow by themselves. It seems you’d scare off any trolls just by the looks of a few messages. It’s kind of sad that many of you don’t agree with religion, though. I might post something about that in the right forum. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/30 "2002-05-21T13:48:23Z")
Aw, Kamandi, I just figured Libertarian meant “it’s only second-rate, when compared with Eve’s usual blinding Dorothy Parker-like brilliance.” “It’s kind of sad that many of you don’t agree with religion, though.” —Ah, you see, BlueMit, most of us don’t see that as “sad” at all! Welcome to the SD, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/31 "2002-05-21T13:56:55Z")
Consistently laugh-out-loud funny, our **Eve** - and that is an exceedingly rare and treasured quality. I loved it. pan ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/32 "2002-05-21T17:12:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Aw, Kamandi, I just figured Libertarian meant “it’s only second-rate, when compared with Eve’s usual blinding Dorothy Parker-like brilliance.” > > “It’s kind of sad that many of you don’t agree with religion, though.”\*\* Oh. I thought he might have been comparing it to his own comedic efforts. Tacky, tacky, tacky. But your interpretation is much more reasonable. That’s the spirit I’ll take his comment in. I thought your OP was great. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/33 "2002-05-23T17:51:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlueMit11 \* > **It’s kind of sad that many of you don’t agree with religion, though.** I’d venture that those here who do agree with religion don’t agree with spreading The Word via chain letter! ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199/34 "2002-05-23T19:11:48Z")
Eve, that was HILARIOUS, thanks so much for a hearty laugh and a very necessary realistic touch to that horrible religi-glurge. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eve-vs-glurge/109199.md?page=1)