Ever been attacked by a large wild animal?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
I’ve been bitten by a horse named Aunt Bea and a duck that hissed at me first. I have scars from both.
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You have a scar from a duck bite? :eek: They don’t have teeth, just a grooved bill, and none of the many ducks I was ever bit by even managed to break the skin. (our family raised ducks when I was a kid - feeding them by hand lends itself to being bitten if you’re not paying attention) That’s some duck you were attacked by, there.

I’ve never been attacked by a wild animal, though I did get bit by a chipmunk when I was a young teenager. I learned an important leason that day when I thoughtlessly grabbed one away from the cats - they’re not as grateful to be rescued from the jaws of a cat as you’d think. I felt a little bad shaking him off my hand, but he wouldn’t let go of my thumb. We both ended the day without being bloodied, so it could have been worse.

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Does it count if it’s my wife?

23

I don’t know if the following quite qualifies as an attack but…

We were out camping in middle of nowhere. We decided to go for a hike. While we were getting ready someone got a soda can and filled it with rocks. The person (I forget who had this particular idea) was saying that if we saw a bear you shake the can and the bear thinks it is a rattlesnake. Bears apparently don’t like snakes, once they hear the rattle the bear will go away. A guy named Dick was with us. Dick started making some jokes about the can idea ("That is a brilliant idea! I know, I’ll *THROW * it at the bear…)

So we went on the hike, Dick in the lead. Not long into the hike we wander around a bend and find that we are sharing the trail with a big ol bear. The bear is sitting on the trail munching on something or other. Dick freezes in his tracks. We all stop, do the whole ‘SHHHH!, THERE IS A BEAR’ thing. Then we all scurrried behind Dick who pulls out the can full of rocks and starts shaking it like mad.

After a minute or so the bear wandered off.

We decided that the bear didn’t give a damned about the can full of rocks or the noise it made. Of course, after that Dick heard a lot about the can full of rocks.

Then there was the time I was working at AOL in Virginia. I went out to the smoke area one day and was talking to some other people when a couple geese showed up. The geese showed up and then instantly started squawking and screeching, running around in a very pissed off mannor. Then they started chasing one guy. We all ran inside and pulled the door shut. There were about 10 of us watching the geese, who were truely freaking out, through the glass door. At that point a security guy walked up wanting to know what was going on. We told him the geese were freaking out. He pulled open the door and walked out…

And ran back in about 5 seconds later.

The birds finally flew off. We never did figure out why they were so upset.

Slee

24

Not very large, but I’ve been struck not once, but TWICE by seagulls, while driving my car. Not ran into them - they rammed the side of my moving car. TWICE.

Since it happened in approximately the same place, near a downtown area, I’m speculating that it had something to do with prevailing winds/downdrafts coming off the buildings in that one spot.

There’s also my infamous snake-bites-my-eyeball story - I bled a lot, but not terribly painful. I’ve actually been bitten and stung by innumerable small creatures, but nothing larger than a toy poodle ( miserable cur, that one - got me in my right calf ).

25

I was attacked by a reindeer at a Santa’s Playground.
Sounds funny, but they weigh a ton and their antlers can split 2x4s on the fences.
I got off with a broken shin when he kicked me. And, no I wasn’t taunting, I was behind a fence just watching.

26

Aww, don’t feel too bad. 1979 wasn’t that long ago–after all, I was in kindergarten way back in 1991.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I was going to go buy some wine and vote.

27

[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect]
Aww, don’t feel too bad. 1979 wasn’t that long ago–after all, I was in kindergarten way back in 1991.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I was going to go buy some wine and vote.
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[Kids In The Hall]Evil! Impolite, and Evil![/KitH]

(You probably don’t remember the Kids, do you? Another gray hair falls gently to the ground…)

28

[QUOTE=robardin]
(You probably don’t remember the Kids, do you? Another gray hair falls gently to the ground…)
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Actually, I’m squishing your head as we speak.

29

[QUOTE=slaphead]
Would it cheer you up if I told you that people have been killed by rams? I remember one case where a hiker was found dead in a ditch in Devon - they worked out that he had been scrambling underneath a hedge when the ram hit him and smashed his ribcage in. The lung punctures killed him before he managed to make it to the nearest house.
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Yeah, don’t be embarrassed of being attacked by a domesticated animal. I wouldn’t be surprised if people are killed by domesticated animals more frequently than wild ones. I had a calf bite me on the butt the other night, and it hurt. (OK, so he did it because I had wiped milk replacer on my pants, and not because of aggression, but my point still stands.) People are killed and eaten by pigs, for god’s sake.

It’s tempting to think that domesticated animals are cute little fuzzers who live out their lives until they arrive at the table or become shoes, but some of them are just full-out bastards.

30

I encountered a bull elk in rut during a bike ride in northern California. He didn’t chase me, but he blocked the road, bugled, and urinated profusely. Luckily, a car passed by; he retreated into the woods, and I pedaled my ass out of there.

Smaller animals, but almost as scary: I was chased (once again on a bike) by an enraged flock of nesting avocets. It felt like something out of “The Birds”.

31

[QUOTE=blondebear]
He didn’t chase me, but he blocked the road, bugled, and urinated profusely.
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Sounds like one of my Saturday nights.

32

If we’re including farm animals, Oh hell yes! Geese are vicious mean horrible creatures with a nasty bite. Chickens are evil, llamas are down right surly, emus make geese seem sweet-tempered, and there is very little on the face of the earth that can compete, for pure old-fashioned meaness, with a geriatric Shetland pony.

Buck goats and rams are just stupid and horny – they know they don’t want to mate with you, so therefor, you must want to steal his does.

I’ve never been attacked by a wild animal, but I still have a story. Of course I do, or I wouldn’t be typing this. :wink:

Anyway, once upon a time, one of my numerous damn-fool cousins was out fixing fence one morning, when he felt a kiss on the back of his neck. With an entirely reasonable “WTF?” reaction he turned around to see not his wife, but a little black bear. The little black bear reached out and patted him with it’s paw.

My cousin, being a dumbass as well as a damn fool, reached out and smacked the little black bear with the post hole digger.

Around suppertime, another of my damnfool cousins was dispatched to find his damnfool brother.

Shortly before dark, damnfool cousin #1 was found, out like a light, beside the broken fencepost, the posthole digger and the new fencepost, next to a gap in the fence, amongst the cows. He was diagnosed with (and I quote) “a pretty good concussion and a nice shiner.”

Near as we can figure, the little black bear, being young enough to be curious instead of surly, but old enough to not have Mama Bear close by, thought getting whapped with the posthole digger was a new game, and smacked back. It must have then decided it was a boring new game, and wandered off on its little black-beary way.

33

Hmm. I’ve been chased by a ram, a bull, and a fur seal. And have been bitten by a dog. None of these are interesting stories, and I wasn’t really in any danger. Well, maybe by the ram, which was set upon me deliberately in an enclosed space and I ended up hanging by the rafters screaming in fear. But aside from that…

34

[QUOTE=Wile E]
Everyone with their elephants and bears are making my booby look tiny. It was a big booby!
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Oh God, how I loves me some big boobies!! :smiley:

::d&r::

35

[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
Once, a dog bit my face off, you may have seen the picture.
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French lady? is that you?

36

I’ve been chased by a moose in Alaska. Moose are, really, much larger than you think they are. Especially when they’re chasing you downhill on a curvy hiking path with lots and lots of tree roots coming up in the path.

I’ve been followed by a deer in the woods, and that was a much more pleasant experience.

37

I once got spooked out of a campsite by a little baby bear while with the Boy Scouts. Later on, whilst hiking in Arizona (in college), I came around a corner and got myself into a pack of javelina. Even later than that, while camping on my own in Montana, I was again visited by another baby bear.

I was never attacked, per se (always carried either a sidearm or bear spray), but I have come into contact with larger animals.

Tripler
Now if you take my wife’s 13 year old cat, that is a large, 82-lb animal who has attacked me.

38

There was a pitbull in my neighborhood growing up (Me, not the dog; although I guess, no, technically it would be both of us, even though he was full grown. The dog isn’t immune to time just because he’s an adult dog. Nevermind). His name was Butter and he was a big ol’ dog. My neighbors kept him tied up in their backyard, even though there place was practically a farm and they had tons of animals free and roaming. One day Butter somehow got loose though and tore away from my neighbors house then somehow found me first. The bastard humped me like crazy.

[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
Once, a dog bit my face off, you may have seen the picture.

Once at the petting zoo a goat knocked me over and ate the buttons off my coat. My dad just laughed really hard.
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I have!

&

Me too!

[QUOTE=bannerrefugee]
It all started when I was a schoolboy, I was attacked by a bat.
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Don’t worry, I chuckled.

39

[QUOTE=Tamerlane]
There’s also my infamous snake-bites-my-eyeball story - I bled a lot, but not terribly painful.
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Please share this one.

40

I’ve been struck at by a copperhead, but mostly I’ve been attacked by other people.