# Ever been thinking of fondling a celebrity... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478 "2005-06-16T02:15:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/1 "2005-06-16T02:15:44Z")
I just saw some pictures of Jessica Alba’s appearance at the MTV Movie Awards. My new favorite wardrobe malfuction. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/2 "2005-06-16T02:54:33Z")
The list of celebrities I’d like to fondle is pretty long… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/3 "2005-06-16T03:38:48Z")
Nice. Very nice. My congratulations to her dress designer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MackoUr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MackoUr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MackoUr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/4 "2005-06-16T04:27:58Z")
Links, damn it man, links! Now I have to go off to google it myself. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/5 "2005-06-16T04:33:35Z")
Google “Alba+MTV movie.” I love the wind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/6 "2005-06-16T05:07:59Z")
Mmm, Jessica. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/7 "2005-06-16T05:10:23Z")
I won’t risk the wrath of the mods by posting a link. But if you go the Useless Junk dot com, you’ll find them. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/8 "2005-06-16T05:22:05Z")
I know that certain materials and colors go transparent under flashes (hee hee. Flashes.). Don’t you think the fashion gurus would stop using said materials and colors? I’m just waiting someone to walk down the red carpet with a single layer of saren wrap cut into a thong and nu-skin on their nipples.\* Ah, who am I kidding? Nipple on, Wayne! \*Please, God, don’t let it be Jack Black. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/9 "2005-06-16T07:23:16Z")
The idea was supposed to be that her collar would hang down and conceal her breasts. But the wind had other ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/10 "2005-06-16T07:28:15Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > The idea was supposed to be that her collar would hang down and conceal her breasts. But the wind had other ideas. Heh. The stuff was see-through anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/11 "2005-06-16T14:51:38Z")
I always knida thought she was overrated as a Hollywood hottie…I think I’m changing that opinion after seeing those shots. Just, wow. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/12 "2005-06-16T15:28:09Z")
I nearly die of dehydration due to excessive drool whenever I gaze upon the lovely Jessica Alba. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/13 "2005-06-16T18:32:22Z")
Well, yes, but they’re (mostly) male. But I have a list, too. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/14 "2005-06-16T18:38:03Z")
Thems look mighty fake. …still hot though! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/15 "2005-06-16T20:05:20Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Thems look mighty fake. > > …still hot though! Dude, you’re nuts. Those would be the smallest implants ever. Just spectacularly pert. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/16 "2005-06-16T20:07:18Z")
Jessica Alba fans NEED to see her in Sin City, where she plays a stripper and does a sexy cowgirl/dominatrix dance scene in black leather chaps and lots of flying fringes. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/17 "2005-06-16T20:09:03Z")
I was going to ask why a thread devoted entirely to admiration of one person’s boobs is in the forum called “arts and entertainment” but then I figured that I’d just be giving y’all a straight line. In any case, I think this belongs in a different forum. I think I owe **TVeblen** one. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/18 "2005-06-16T20:14:14Z")
But she’s an _actress_!!! Well, in that case… **IMHO** she has gorgeous breasts, opinions? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/19 "2005-06-16T20:25:48Z")
IMHO they are natural and magnificent. Betcha can’t eat just one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-thinking-of-fondling-a-celebrity/308478/20 "2005-06-17T03:24:43Z")
But Dex, if you move it to this forum, it ruins [the pun](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=321143).