# Ever forgotten your kid and left them someplace? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843 "2011-06-25T19:52:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/41 "2011-06-29T05:38:35Z")
My mom used to leave me everywhere. She would drop me off at a store and tell me to go get milk or bread or something and that she would go and do another errend and come back and pick me up. I used to stand by the road, jumping and shouting and waving when she would just drive by on her way home. Reading this thread reminded me of how fractured my heart was everytime she did it. It really hurt when I’d finally walk home and she would yell at me because the milk was warm or WHERE WERE YOU! At least I survived being left in a car, but I have heard stories about that as well. I can’t have kids, but I transport animals on at least a weekly basis. I’ve never forgotten that I have animals in the car or needing to be picked up somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/42 "2011-06-30T15:24:41Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > How about this: When you put baby in the car seat, you have a bungee cord you clip to the bottom of the seat. This cord extends to the front seat. You clip this other end onto your keychain. When you stop the car and get out, you take the key out of the ignition and (hopefully) are reminded the other end of the bungee cord is attached to the car seat. Good thinking, but it won’t work. Infant car safety seats are designed to flip up and against the seat back in case of a crash. This protects the child from objects (missiles) flying around inside the car. Your bungee cord would prevent proper operation of the seat in a severe crash. You could clip it to something beside the seat, but this also makes me nervous. It’s just one more step to forget=\>forget the baby. Not finding the clip attached would trigger you to get out of the car and feel perfectly confident walking away. Much better to use some ruse that requries your _checking the car seat even when the baby is not in it._ I trained myself to look at the carseat at every stop light, and left anything I needed in it so that I _never left the car without looking into the car seat_. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/43 "2011-06-30T15:26:15Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My mom used to leave me everywhere. She would drop me off at a store and tell me to go get milk or bread or something and that she would go and do another errend and come back and pick me up. I used to stand by the road, jumping and shouting and waving when she would just drive by on her way home. Reading this thread reminded me of how fractured my heart was everytime she did it. > > It really hurt when I’d finally walk home and she would yell at me because the milk was warm or WHERE WERE YOU! > > . . . ☹ {{{{Flatlined}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/44 "2011-06-30T15:28:40Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > ☹ {{{{Flatlined}}}} Seconded :(. Did she at least apologize??? even once??? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/45 "2011-06-30T15:30:16Z")
Someone should make an alarm that attaches to the child seat and must be manually disabled, that goes off every time the driver’s door opens. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/46 "2011-06-30T15:33:29Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Good thinking, but it won’t work. Infant car safety seats are designed to flip up and against the seat back in case of a crash. This protects the child from objects (missiles) flying around inside the car. Your bungee cord would prevent proper operation of the seat in a severe crash. > > You could clip it to something beside the seat, but this also makes me nervous. It’s just one more step to forget=\>forget the baby. Not finding the clip attached would trigger you to get out of the car and feel perfectly confident walking away. Much better to use some ruse that requries your _checking the car seat even when the baby is not in it._ I trained myself to look at the carseat at every stop light, and left anything I needed in it so that I _never left the car without looking into the car seat_. Good idea! This might not work as well for male-types but if you got in the habit of putting your purse on the seat next to the carseat, or IN the carseat if it’s unoccupied, you would ALWAYS look at the seat before going off. Not that this occurred to me when my kids were that age, mind you… I remember once, stopped at a light preparatory to entering the Beltway, thinking in a blind panic that I FORGOT TO PUT THE CARSEAT IN THE CAR!!! Because I honestly didn’t remember having done so. A quick glance in the rearview mirror and I could plainly see the carseat clipped in place (baby was facing the rear so I couldn’t see him). I was obviously on autopilot when I put him in the car, just not mentally processing the action. Not forgetting a kid, but: twice, when the kids were infants, I did some grocery shopping, left the groceries in the cart at the front of the store, went to get my car (so I could drive up and curb-load them)… and went on my way. Once was only for about 5 minutes, the other time I went off, had the car’s oil changed, etc… several hours when all was said and done. Whoops! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/47 "2011-06-30T18:18:15Z")
> [@czarofspam](#): > > Epiphany: why not invent a device to warn people when a child is left in a car alone? Most new cars have a sensor in the front seat that deactivates the airbag when it senses 10+ lbs but less than 80 or so in the seat. Why not fit such sensors into ALL the seats, set to give of an audible alarm outside the car if it senses a weight left in the seat after the car is locked? The above link mentions +/- 25 child deaths each year due to this… if someone can create a device that prevents even one, why not?? Two big reasons: If it was an “add-on,” (and such products do, or did, exist) no one will buy them. You’re basically announcing to yourself and the world that you feel you’re such a shitty parent, you might leave your child in the car. No one thinks it will _ever_ happen to them, so they won’t feel a need to buy it. Though it would make for an interesting commercial… (cue black and white world) How many times has this happened to you? Run inside the store for a few items, and you _forget the kid in the car!_ OH NO! Dead baby! Well, not anymore, now there’s Baby Alert! Yeah, I’m not predicting high sales on that… Ok, you say, make it a mandatory safety device, like airbags…wouldn’t fly. Again, because of the above, no one would want to pay for it, but the cost has to put somewhere. The auto lobby would fight tooth and nail if it was a federal legislation, because either they pay for it and take a hit on profit, or it bumps up all new car prices by $500-$1000 (or whatever it costs) and sales take a hit because, once again, no one will ever want to admit they cold forget their kid, so they’ll buy a used car, or last year’s model, that doesn’t have what they see as nothing but a “nuisance alarm.” To which I can see a point. I mean…if it’s just something like a weight sensor, how fucking annoying would it be when you just have some groceries or whatever in the back seat and it keeps going off? Not to mention we’d all become desensitized to it, anyway. How many people still leave their lights on or their keys in the car, even though cars go “bing bing bing!” when you try to do that? ---
**Author:** ![YamatoTwinkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/cc9497/32.png) [@YamatoTwinkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YamatoTwinkie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/48 "2011-06-30T18:57:00Z")
> [@czarofspam](#): > > Epiphany: why not invent a device to warn people when a child is left in a car alone? From the excellent WaPo article linked above: > [@](#): > > There are a few aftermarket products that alert a parent if a child remains in a car that has been turned off. These products are not huge sellers. They have likely run up against the same marketing problem that confronted three NASA engineers a few years ago. > > In 2000, Chris Edwards, Terry Mack and Edward Modlin began to work on just such a product after one of their colleagues, Kevin Shelton, accidentally left his 9-month-old son to die in the parking lot of NASA Langley Research Center in Hampton, Va. The inventors patented a device with weight sensors and a keychain alarm. Based on aerospace technology, it was easy to use; it was relatively cheap, and it worked. > > Janette Fennell had high hopes for this product: The dramatic narrative behind it, she felt, and the fact that it came from NASA, created a likelihood of widespread publicity and public acceptance. > > That was five years ago. The device still isn’t on the shelves. The inventors could not find a commercial partner willing to manufacture it. One big problem was liability. If you made it, you could face enormous lawsuits if it malfunctioned and a child died. But another big problem was psychological: Marketing studies suggested it wouldn’t sell well. > > The problem is this simple: People think this could never happen to them. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/49 "2011-06-30T18:58:30Z")
I was the kid. Dad forgot to do a headcount after leaving the park one day. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/50 "2011-06-30T19:06:14Z")
:: sobs :: I was a child left behind! At the grocery store, I was sitting the the kiddie seat part of the grocery cart, mad as hell because my sister was in the main part of the cart pretending to be Benji locked in a cage and I wanted to play Benji too. Anyway, my mom evicted my sister from the grocery cart so she could put, y’know, _groceries_ in there. Apparently, my sister responded with some epic tantrum, about being Benji, that lasted the duration of the shopping trip. My mom unloaded the groceries onto the conveyor belt at the checkout, while my sister was still pitching her Benji-themed fit. My mother grabbed the grocery bags, and marched her rabid-Benji daughter out to the car. My sister was still pitching _such_ a huge fit, my mom was afraid people would think she was being kidnapped. My mom’s really not cool when it comes to public embarrassment, so as soon as the groceries were stowed and seatbelts were belted, mom fled the scene. Yeah, so I was still sitting in the shopping cart over by the checkout. Second-hand info said that they made a few announcements over the PA, then wheeled me in to some office and gave me a popsicle. I don’t remember any of it. _Somebody_ claiming to be my mom came and got me, and took me home. But I maintain that I may be the long-lost child of some really cool, wealthy people - like royalty or something! - and some day my real family will find me… Some day. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/51 "2011-06-30T19:43:57Z")
Someone submitted a camera phone shot of a [‘check for the baby’ sign](http://parentfails.com/post/6763965558/reminder) to a “Parent Fails” website. Fortunately most of the responding posts were of a “this is not a fail” kind. If a little sign in someone else’s car makes some people judgmental, imagine the looks a parent might get at a store buying a “baby in car” reminder device. ☹ No one believes they’ll forget, but incidents have happened, mostly involving changed routines, that have had terrible consequences. I won’t cast aspersions on anyone who tries methods to ensure they won’t make a horrible mistake someday. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/52 "2011-06-30T19:57:56Z")
Hey, does it count if a parent accidentally dumps you someplace? Ever have one of those days where if _feels_ like a Wednesday, but it’s really Tuesday? My mom once dropped my sister and I off at our Saturday morning “Learn to Skate” program. Neither one of us had piped up and asked her why we were going to skating two days in a row because we were both really stupid children. She didn’t get far before she figured it out though and came back to get us. She was pretty mad that we hadn’t said anything. ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/53 "2011-06-30T20:05:40Z")
Not long, probably less than a week, after my wife went back to work from her maternity leave, I went to go pick her up from work, got in the car, got to the end of the street, and turned right back around, because I forgot my daughter. She was sleeping at the time and probably didn’t even know I was gone. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843/54 "2011-06-30T22:54:46Z")
So far (I say “so far” because we just had a baby, and now we’ve got another 18 years to pile up the screwups), the worst thing I’d done along these lines was this: When my oldest daughter was about 18 months old, I was watching her while my wife was out. At the time we lived in a large apartment complex. I had to go down to my car to find something (I can’t recall now what it was, but at the time it was important - insurance papers, or a bank statement or something), and took her with me to the parking lot. I got in the passenger seat and started rifling through the glovebox, expecting to find whatever I was looking for pretty quickly. I couldn’t find it after a couple minutes, and was getting pretty frustrated, when I heard a car horn, and instantly realized “Oh, wait, I had a baby I was supposed to be watching!” My daughter was standing out in the middle of the parking lot, staring at a car’s bumper about 12 inches from her. She’d wandered off while I was looking, and I completely forgot about her. I felt like the worst parent in the world for about a week - 10 years and 3 more kids later, just to think about it gives me a twinge of guilt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-forgotten-your-kid-and-left-them-someplace/586843.md?page=2)